3 year old only wants to watch tv after nursery

[Dinosaurhearmeroar]

Title says it all - I pick her up at half 4 and I keep her out for as long as I can but I’m pregnant and very nauseous! I allow tv but ideally half hour max after nursery because she watches a bit before nursery too (early riser). I suggested paddling pool, walk, building blocks etc, drawing, tonie but no dice. Just moaning she wants to watch something! I have her all day tomorrow and dreading that she will be like this all day and it will just be a battle.

any ideas/ suggestions / wwyd ?!

x

Tbh when I was in your same situation I just embraced screen time. Sometimes you just do what you can to survive and I figured he spent all day at nursery being stimulated mentally so a bit of screen time won't harm. When I had my other DS and no more morning sickness I did cut down the screen time and DS1 was fine.

Agree here. Last year I was heavily pregnant and had a 3 year old and 1 year old. I didn’t have the energy to do very much and had to use screen time.
Dont feel bad.
I still use screen time now when I need all 3 in one place quietly while I’m making dinner or whatever. However if it’s healthily balanced with other activities and not impacting on behaviours I don’t think it’s that bad, if limited to a certain extent. Absolutely no screen time at meal times or near bedtimes though.

DD is 4 and exactly the same. I'd go with whatever works best for you. Kids don't need to play all of the time; sometimes it's nice for them to just have chill time too.

Well it makes total sense that she might want to just veg in front of the tv for a bit after nursery. Nursery is a very stimulating environment with a lot of social expectations and learning. She will be tired. Do you let her have tv time when she gets home to decompress? Then she might be more interested in other things after. TV can be quite educational as well.
Designate tv times for tomorrow and then ignore all the rest of the whining.

What time does she start nursery? My DC is nursery age and there 9-5:30 so I think tv time for an hour or so after that is fine. It's a long day just like work is a long day for us, even if it is mostly play, they need time to unwind.

She is in nursery at 8 until half 4. Some rly good advice here - thank you. The overall theme seems to be don’t be so hard on yourself! I am a perfectionist as a person and didn’t think it would translate into motherhood (or just didn’t think) and lo and behold here we are. I judge myself and worry that I’m not being inventive enough. I’m not very good at creative play and go a bit mad when it’s just me and her all day so sometimes feel that I use tv because I’m out of ideas/ too in my head.

sorry - pregnant and hormonal so I’m a bit of a mess atm.

Just let her do it.

What do many (most?) adults do after work? Home, dinner, couch. Whether that’s Netflix, a podcast, YouTube…most of us want time to decompress and relax. Nursery is so intense for their brains (I have a 3yo so I know what it’s like) and they’re busy learning and being stimulated, so some tv to relax is fine.

You’ll get the judgemental mum’s on MN who neverrr do this, think anything that doesn’t constitute learning is wasted time and don’t actually have any screen time for their children until age 16, but most of them are full of nonsense, as we all know.

Between nursery and dinner is just let her get on with it. TV off for dinner and then no more TV before bed.

For a full day I would just say no to TV in the morning. Get out and be busy and then let her come home and veg with TV for a bit later on in the day (similar to when she's at nursery).

They’re probably just tired after a busy day and want to veg. Also pregnant with 2 year old and today we went to a class, went for a walk, played at the park, painted, played with water, building stuff, play dough, climbed, read books and many other stuff. But we definitely had what would count as too much screen time to many.
However it was roasting hot outside and I wanted him to sit still for a bit and eat a snack/ have a drink as he was bright red but wanted to play. After tea/bath he was shattered so he had screen time and at other times dotted throughout the day
I see it as he’s been stimulated the bulk of the day, developmentally doing well and on track speaking wise so when he and I are shattered and we need a break I will certainly use a screen. So long as it’s not hours at a time and I’m shortish bursts I really don’t see an issue with it!

I agree with others, after a day at nursery some screen time is okay. I wouldn’t want her sat infront of the TV all day long but when she has already spent the day at nursery playing, learning & socialising I wouldn’t stress about her wanting to just chill out for a bit at home x

What a story podcast/audio books.

If you have the energy prepare an activity for when she gets home,drawing for example.

I'd also make sure here is an easy snack to help.

We let ours have screens when they come home from school. As an adult I want screen time to decompress after work. As long as they've had outdoor time/ stimulation during the day I don't see it as a problem.

Didn’t she need a wee rest after nursery?

I let my 4 year old watch tv after nursery. He is there 8 hours a day so i think it’s fine for him to relax a bit while make dinner etc.

Pick the programs.

Set timers for some of her choice and some of yours.

Blacklist some stuff.

I quite like one zoo three.

Give yourself a break and lean in to the TV but maybe adjust what you put on.

When my daughter is having more TV we put longer shows on and often family shows rather than kid shows. Things like the masked singer work for us at 2-3, now she's older baking shows are good. Last summer I had hyperemesis with my almost 4 year old so we watched a lot of the Olympics together. She still sometimes asks to watch gymnastics or diving.
My daughter also likes the real people shows on bbc like my first, my very first, festivals, I can do it you can to. They are all day in the life type shows and less activating compared to if she has a lot of cartoons.

She definitely needs time to chill after a day of nursery. Have you read the book called Rest? It's all about the neuroscience of how your brain learns while you rest - if you pack a person with too much stimulation/activity, then they don't learn or develop as well.

Basically... she's probably knackered, let her have screen time!

If it makes you feel any better, I watched so much TV between the ages of 3 and 6, that by 6 I could speak English fluently 😂 I'm not from the UK and the cartoons in my home country were terrible so I watched cartoon programs we had via satellite. I don't have ADHD problems and was good at school 😅 I now live in the UK which is why I'm on MN.

I read that you need to pick carefully, pick cartoons that have a story with a beginning and an ending. Don't pick things like Ms Rachel that go on and on and on as they are quite addictive (according to random Internet articles anyway).

I also agree with drawing. It's a good relaxed activity after nursery.

Good tips re if tv re the content - either low stimulation or try David Attenborough etc. Otherwise does she have a Yoto and can listen to her fav stories somewhere? Relaxing and engaging without the screens?
I’m not a screen time advocate, but being pregnant is an exceptional period, be kind to yourself, you’re growing another human!

She’s at nursery for 8 hours by the sounds of it, so she definitely needs some chill out, wind down time when she gets home. Don’t even entertain doing any other activity after nursery!
Ideally put something vaguely educational on but even Thomas The Tank Engine (showing my age) etc, promote positive messages.

Do you have a garden? I find it much easier to be screen free in summer as I can set up their water table/mud kitchen/tuff tray with diggers and mud or paints or something in the shade and that will occupy them for ages (all things bought cheaply off fb marketplace)!

Having said that though, I do have boys who are generally good at independent play and it must be a lot more difficult with a child that’s less inclined to do that. I wouldn’t be too hard on yourself, pregnancy with a toddler was genuinely more tiring than having a newborn and toddler imo! X

Don’t worry about it dear! You are doing brilliantly!

I agree that after a long day at nursery it’s really not the end of the world. If you make it routined she’ll learn she can’t spend the entire weekend doing that.

When mine gets in from nursery (3:30 pick up but home at 4:30 after scooting home via the park) he knows the routine so just wouldn’t ask for telly straight away as he knows the answer would be no. He plays with his toys or listens to his Yoto until dinner is on the table and then after dinner he knows he can watch some tv for half an hour or so until bath time. Then it’s bed. If no bath, he gets tv for a bit longer. This keeps things routined and he knows what’s happening next so tv doesn’t become something to just mindlessly switch on.

But honestly, there are days for that too. We all love a veg in front of the telly sometimes. A lot of kids tv is lovely and truly enriching. I don’t have a problem with tv in that regard. Tablets on the other hand…

I feel the same and I'm 51. A long day at the nursery talking constantly with dozens of other people I just want to sit still and calm down.

Lol when I was pregnant with my second I had such bad morning sickness that there were days my 3yo son might watch cbeebies from the moment it came on until when it finished for the night. Because I was just lying on the floor throwing up in a bucket all day.
He's a lovely caring boy now and I do sometimes think I should thank the BBC for that!!!!
A bit of tv isn't going to harm your child from time to time. There's so much scare mongering over screens because it creates interest.. it gets clicks.
Yes it's not ideal if you are constantly using the tv or any screens to occupy your kids at the expense of anything else.
But letting your toddler watch a tv show after nursery is absolutely fine. Both of you can relax. Nursery is tiring.