Does anybody regret having children?

[2fishleft]

I do

my mother is a firm believer in babies picking up on moods around them.

it galls me to have to say i think she's right!

when i am calm and relaxed dd is laid back and does as she's asked or can be easily persuaded away from something i don't want her to do.

when i am stressed out she is an utter nightmare!! last night she yelled in her cot for nigh on an hour before she finally dropped off after i shut the door (which I never do) after the 8th time i went in there.

i had just had a run in with my noisy neighbours and i was super sensitive to any noise she was making. i so so so so so so wanted her to drop off quietly!

before 16m she never slept thru the night and fed every 2hrs 24x7 even after weaning. her naps would last 1 hour at most and i desperately wanted a 2 hour nap baby.

there were times when she would nap longer (then I'd disturb her by checking on her, can't win LOL) and i think they were normally when i was pre-occupied doing something else.

i bet your absorption in MN for a bit has had an effect on his napping for 2 hours!

ps: btw, dd also set her own routine around 14m and things got a whole heap easier then too.

Paddlechick is right. It's a vicious circle - if you're stressed, they are stressed so you are stressed so they are stressed etc etc.

Try the acting thing (speak in a sing songy voice and be very very cheerful) and see how you get on. Let us know how it goes.

2fishleft -- does any of this list sound like your DS? (you may need to click on "no, I don't want your newsletter" to get to the actual article)

I had one like that and actually got The Fussy Baby book to keep in the loo there was some practical advice, but I found it oddly comforting just to be reminded that my baby wasn't the only one like this (which it could seem, from seeing friends' babies) and all the good personality traits that go along with the stressful stuff. DS is 3.4 now, still very "spirited" but generally lovely. It did get easier for us when he learned to walk and then much easier when he learned to talk there wasn't nearly so much srustration on either side.

My dc2 was like this. He wanted to be HELD every second, but when I picked him up he wriggled and wrestled with me. Holding him didn't make him happy either, just less miserable. I couldn't take him anywhere because I had to walk around with him screaming and wrestling with me.

I did wish away the first, oh wow, 20 months of his life. Now, at 27 months he is still very demanding, determined and totally inflexible. BUT, DESPITE that, I still find him easier and more lovable NOW, even with that sneaking suspicion that he may have a few minor special needs.

I feel for you.

He sounds just like my DS1 - he was NEVER happy as a baby and it made me miserable which made him worse. It was a bit of a viscious circle. He was, however, an adorable toddler - never once had a temper tantrum and was my little buddy. Things will get better. My advice would be to get out of the house. I walked miles everyday with the buggy and it really seemed to cheer us both up.

2fish, noone is judging you- I suspect we're all busy remembering moments of our own...

Have you seen the GP about the baby rather than yourself, just in case there's anything physical wrong? Something like an allergy that could give him tummy ache or whatever. Some milk intolerant children can be incredibly grumpy.

Also, do keep reminding yourself that a baby's personality is NO guide to what they are going to be like when they grow older. He may turn into a sweet and charming toddler or a positively sunny teenager.

Waffletrees, so true, I pounded the streets for hours just because dc1 seemed to like motion. No sooner had the buggy stopped than the 'wa a a' started.