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Nothing enough for 8 year old

93 replies

hoohaal · 12/08/2025 12:02

My eldest (8) is incredibly outdoorsy and has a massive zest for life. This is great for her, but means she’s always seeking the next big thing to do.

I could take her out all morning on bike rides, for food, see family etc, park, meet friends but as soon as we get home she will ask what we’re doing next.

It makes me so angry. It feels like nothing is ever enough for her.

I’m much more indoorsy and don’t have much zest for life, but obviously you push yourself for your kids. I find it beyond frustrating that I push myself so hard to make her happy and yet nothing is enough.

Some days we only do one thing as her Sister is also indoorsy and she has a face like a wet weekend the whole day. She just can’t cope with entertaining herself or just ‘being’.

Is there anything I should be doing here to make things different, or is it just tough shit? I can’t constantly entertain and take her out.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Klozza · 12/08/2025 18:57

This sounds just like my just turned 4 year old. I’m very indoorsy, work full time, and have an 8 month old baby, but try my best to do things with him when I can. I’m off work right now and we took him to Legoland at the weekend, spent the day with cousins Sunday, he went for a playdate yesterday, but when I said I didn’t have much planned for today he sulked and kept asking “what’re we doing next” all day. My partner works in the day so it’s just me at home and it can be a bit exhausting.

Most sports clubs around here don’t take kids under 4 so up until literally last weekend he wasn’t old enough for those. I’ve managed to get him in some paid preschool style fun days in the preschool he attended before the school where he can go alone which I hope wears him out, and I’m planning to get him into whatever sports club he choses now he’s old enough 😂

gamerchick · 12/08/2025 19:43

SeaToSki · 12/08/2025 12:25

At that age one good way to cure the I’m bored problem is that when they moan about being bored, just say excellent if you have nothing to do, you can clean the kitchen, take out the bins, weed the garden, sweep out the garage, tidy your bedroom etc. They soon stop asking and find something to entertain themselves. I would make sure that she has options that she likes to entertain herself though, so some roller skates, a skipping rope, permission to walk to a local playground etc

Yup.

itsabeautifuldayjuly · 12/08/2025 19:44

One thing to take into account is that active children need exercise. its a need, not a want. Sitting inside doing crafts and using their imagination isn’t going to satisfy them - just like the you would hate having non stop action.
You need to find some clubs for her.

Interested in this thread?

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hoohaal · 12/08/2025 19:50

I definitely don’t think her being outdoorsy with a zest for life is a bad thing. If anything I wish I was just like her. I love that she’s the way she is, it’s just tiring.

Over the holidays we regularly go to the park, beach, trampoline park, bouncy castle, bike rides, scooter rides, they have a trampoline at home, days away. They are currently also being looked after by family a few days a week as I’m not well.

One member of family takes them for days out as well, beach, meeting friends in parks etc.

I don’t know what more I can do tbh. I get that perhaps meeting up with friends etc isn’t a tiring activity for her, but what else can I do when I’m already doing a load of other things and exhausted.

I think some people have taken this post the wrong way and think I detest her. I just genuinely don’t have the energy to be out of the house doing activities all day. She needs to learn how to also be indoors. It’s unrealistic for me to do more with her and also, that’s life. We can’t always do what we want and I don’t always have a tonne of money to pay for her to do everything.

OP posts:
Skybluepinky · 12/08/2025 19:51

Children are suppose to get bored that’s when they learn to use their imagination, you are causing the monster just let her be bored, if she moans give her jobs to do, be her parent not her social organiser.

gamerchick · 12/08/2025 19:57

Kids need to learn how to manage their own boredom. If it's not allowed then they can't regulate properly as adults and 'self soothe'

Mine always got housework. They learned to scarper when the word half left their mouths and my eyes lit up. They learned to occupy themselves and not take activies for granted.

It's up to you though. Do you want some house time or not? You're not being mean filling each and every moment for her.

Ivy888 · 12/08/2025 19:58

Does she do any sports? Sounds like she would really benefit from being part of a sports team.

DiggingHoles · 12/08/2025 20:21

Please, don't take her attitude personally. She is a child and doesn't understand about sacrifices that parents make for their children and it's not fair to try and make her feel guilty about that. This is kinda what you took on when you decided to have a child.

That said, she is 8. She can go outdoors by herself or with friends. She can go to hobbies or learn to entertain herself indoors. Just because she likes being outdoors does mean she always needs to be indulged. She is also at a good age to learn to deal with boredom. You won't do yourself or her any favors by always catering to her every whim.

angelfacecuti75 · 12/08/2025 20:40

Get her involved in cubs or brownies which offer camping trips away , outdoorsy things or swimming lessons etc etc. This way you get a break once or twice per week & Brownies /cubs is a charity often offering very cheap & discounted things. They also do a variety of things too so its not the same week in , week out and do some outdoorsy things , and she will have the opportunity to do camping etc

Mewling · 12/08/2025 20:43

@hoohaal

She needs to learn how to also be indoors. It’s unrealistic for me to do more with her and also, that’s life. We can’t always do what we want and I don’t always have a tonne of money to pay for her to do everything.

So, tell her that! I don’t understand why it’s an issue? There are loads of good ideas in this thread. Maintain boundaries, explain that she does a lot already, implement free play at home. You don’t have to do more, she does enough. The whining won’t last for too long and you’ll have given her the gift of learning how to entertain herself.

Seems to me the biggest issue is you navigating your guilt about feeling too poorly to do the stuff she wants to do. You don’t need to feel guilty.

DelCalMun · 12/08/2025 21:45

My eldest DD, now 21, is similar.

Tortielady · 13/08/2025 11:11

I have a sibling who was like the OP's older DD when we were children - outgoing, high-energy, loved to be out and on the go and very easily bored. DM would respond to complaints of boredom just as pps suggest: "you're bored? I'll find you something to do if you're bored!" Sibling soon learned not to be too loudly bored when DM was up to her elbows in housework.

As someone who doesn't have children and possibly even more to the point is a low-energy, introvert with a high boredom threshold, it's probably easy for me to say it, but boredom isn't terrible. It motivates you to find things to do possibly things you know need doing that you might otherwise not bother with, like sorting out a drawer or making a shopping list - both of which could be done by an eight year old at a loose end.

somanythingssolittletime · 13/08/2025 12:47

hoohaal · 12/08/2025 19:50

I definitely don’t think her being outdoorsy with a zest for life is a bad thing. If anything I wish I was just like her. I love that she’s the way she is, it’s just tiring.

Over the holidays we regularly go to the park, beach, trampoline park, bouncy castle, bike rides, scooter rides, they have a trampoline at home, days away. They are currently also being looked after by family a few days a week as I’m not well.

One member of family takes them for days out as well, beach, meeting friends in parks etc.

I don’t know what more I can do tbh. I get that perhaps meeting up with friends etc isn’t a tiring activity for her, but what else can I do when I’m already doing a load of other things and exhausted.

I think some people have taken this post the wrong way and think I detest her. I just genuinely don’t have the energy to be out of the house doing activities all day. She needs to learn how to also be indoors. It’s unrealistic for me to do more with her and also, that’s life. We can’t always do what we want and I don’t always have a tonne of money to pay for her to do everything.

Is it mum-guilt that’s bothering you? Or your own unmet needs that’s triggering you? (Food for thought)

Pherian · 13/08/2025 23:53

hoohaal · 12/08/2025 12:02

My eldest (8) is incredibly outdoorsy and has a massive zest for life. This is great for her, but means she’s always seeking the next big thing to do.

I could take her out all morning on bike rides, for food, see family etc, park, meet friends but as soon as we get home she will ask what we’re doing next.

It makes me so angry. It feels like nothing is ever enough for her.

I’m much more indoorsy and don’t have much zest for life, but obviously you push yourself for your kids. I find it beyond frustrating that I push myself so hard to make her happy and yet nothing is enough.

Some days we only do one thing as her Sister is also indoorsy and she has a face like a wet weekend the whole day. She just can’t cope with entertaining herself or just ‘being’.

Is there anything I should be doing here to make things different, or is it just tough shit? I can’t constantly entertain and take her out.

Print this out and read it when she starts becoming independent and doesn’t want to schedule things with you anymore.

You will regret your words.

OneNeatBlueOrca · 13/08/2025 23:57

Can you go out later. You talk about taking her out in the morning. Is that it for the day then. Is she really stuck in the house all day after that. I'd be driven to despair.

can you not switch your routine and go out all afternoon instead.

yallahbye · 14/08/2025 00:38

Pherian · 13/08/2025 23:53

Print this out and read it when she starts becoming independent and doesn’t want to schedule things with you anymore.

You will regret your words.

😆😆
I think OP will actually breathe a sigh of relief when her daughter becomes more independent and starts scheduling things without her.

pinkgown · 14/08/2025 01:13

Do you have a garden? If so maybe buy her a dog?

iamnotalemon · 14/08/2025 02:45

Seriously, if we told our parents we were bored, they’d find us a chore to do. Miraculously that solved the problem haha.

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