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Nothing enough for 8 year old

93 replies

hoohaal · 12/08/2025 12:02

My eldest (8) is incredibly outdoorsy and has a massive zest for life. This is great for her, but means she’s always seeking the next big thing to do.

I could take her out all morning on bike rides, for food, see family etc, park, meet friends but as soon as we get home she will ask what we’re doing next.

It makes me so angry. It feels like nothing is ever enough for her.

I’m much more indoorsy and don’t have much zest for life, but obviously you push yourself for your kids. I find it beyond frustrating that I push myself so hard to make her happy and yet nothing is enough.

Some days we only do one thing as her Sister is also indoorsy and she has a face like a wet weekend the whole day. She just can’t cope with entertaining herself or just ‘being’.

Is there anything I should be doing here to make things different, or is it just tough shit? I can’t constantly entertain and take her out.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
HotTiredDog · 12/08/2025 17:48

Ironically, given how many kids seem to do this a lot, she needs to learn to sit down!
Entertaining herself is essential; books, crafts, tv…

C152 · 12/08/2025 17:51

She sounds like a typical 8 year old. They learn how to be in their own company/amuse themselves by having to do so. Will she accept it if you have a plan that you share in advance? e.g. 'we're going to swimming after breakfast, then we'll stop at the park/cafe for a snack/drink. After that we're going to the skate park for an hour, then home for the afternoon.' It's important that their sibling feels they get to do what they want as well, even though they prefer staying home.

hypnovic · 12/08/2025 17:54

Try not to take it personally she isn't saying you aren't good enough,you aren't doing enough,its not a reflection on you she us just high energy. Can you make it clearer so . This morning we are going for a bike ride. When we get home you can entertain yourself you can play /basket ball hoop in garden. Den building/ arts n crafts/ little garden patch to tend to if feasible whatever options you are willing to offer and then its not a discussion or your responsibility.
Today we are doing x
When we get home you can chose between xyz
We will be going out again on x
If I could do it all again (mine are adults) I would take it less personally when they are hard work and try to let it go. I was often made to feel like I was annoying as I was full on as a kid and its stayed with me my whole life. I keep small so being myself doesn't p*ss people off.

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Scottsy200 · 12/08/2025 17:56

Tell her it’s tough shit, you can’t entertain her 24/7 she has to learn to entertain herself to some extent

Notimeforaname · 12/08/2025 17:57

SeaToSki · 12/08/2025 12:25

At that age one good way to cure the I’m bored problem is that when they moan about being bored, just say excellent if you have nothing to do, you can clean the kitchen, take out the bins, weed the garden, sweep out the garage, tidy your bedroom etc. They soon stop asking and find something to entertain themselves. I would make sure that she has options that she likes to entertain herself though, so some roller skates, a skipping rope, permission to walk to a local playground etc

This is your answer.

Summerlovin24 · 12/08/2025 17:58

She needs to be at sports clubs. Loads of footy around thanks to lionesses, girls cricket is big now. Athletics, swimming, tennis, hockey. Some are pricey but team sports not so much.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 12/08/2025 18:00

Everyone seems to be reading it as the DD demanding constant attention - but OP seems to be saying that she doesn't want to not leave the house all day. I think it's a pretty unhealthy habit for an adult not to go outside all day, and really quite poor parenting to keep a healthy child in all day. It doesn't have to be big fancy (and paid for) activities, but getting outside and moving daily is a pretty low bar.

MumOf4totstoteens · 12/08/2025 18:02

Does she not have screen time at all? It sounds like you’re doing enough activities so I’d let her have iPad/ PlayStation / tv. You definitely need to set boundaries here. Explain that although she has boundless energy, you do not and in order to have enough energy to do a fun activity tomorrow, you need rest for the rest of the day.

NewBlueNoteBook · 12/08/2025 18:03

I wouldnt put up with the moods. That’s not acceptable.

I agree with PP that inmy house she’d be given chores to do.

However if you have a garden what about a basketball hoop, swingball set or other single player activity.

Either than or give her garden chores to do.

Louoby · 12/08/2025 18:04

My son is in cubs, just about to move to scouts. It is very outdoorsy and he has girls in his group. They go camping often, and lots of outdoor fun and meet once a week. He loves it. Is this something you can look into?

Isobel201 · 12/08/2025 18:15

Would she like to take up horse riding? I stayed out all day sometimes at the stables. There is pony club which she can join up until age 25.

AnotherNaCha · 12/08/2025 18:18

Please try not to be annoyed at her as her needs and likes are different to yours. She can’t help her energy levels and predisposition. Could you hook her up with a similar friend and take turns with the parents or find her an activity camp?

PigletSanders · 12/08/2025 18:21

Anger is a really strange response to a child who’s excited to be alive and wants to be out and doing. That’s much more healthy than being stuck indoors all day.

At the risk of being rather rude, just because you’re a bit boring, doesn’t mean your daughter is wrong for being the opposite to that. And it sounds a bit like your other daughter, who’s ‘indoorsy’ like you, is your favourite.

beAsensible1 · 12/08/2025 18:24

You cannot and should not entertain children 24/7. She is 8 and old enough to be okay with being bored and learn to make her own fun.

time for her to use her imagination, make her own games, do some activity books, read. write some stories, get her some building kits or she make her own.

if you don’t have outdoor space for her to play she will have to play Indoors and use her imagination. You cannot perform fun for her daily it’s not realistic

get her a kids gardening book and bit of soil for herself and some seeds and set her free. She can even get a notebook so she can monitor the plants growth etc

ChocolateCinderToffee · 12/08/2025 18:34

Have you got a garden? Set her to deadheading roses and weeding. Removing dandelions from the lawn.

Teenytwo · 12/08/2025 18:37

Can you take her to parkrun? There’s junior on a Sunday and it’s 2km, if she’s confident you can sit at the finish line with a book and her just run. It’s not a massive run but it might use some energy up.

LizzieBet14 · 12/08/2025 18:47

When my kids were younger, we used to do 'one day in & one day out'. On the days in they were expected to get games out, watch a film, Lego, arts & carts, baking etc. Maybe get your DD to do a plan for the week so she knows what's coming & any equipment/ingredients she needs.

Melonjuice · 12/08/2025 18:50

be thankful for your child doesn’t want to stay in her bedroom all day like mine on her iPad
honestly, this post is ridiculous

TicklishMintDuck · 12/08/2025 18:51

coxesorangepippin · 12/08/2025 12:34

Just send her out in the garden/ on her bike??

Some people don’t have a garden and/or live in places where it’s not safe for an 8 year old to go out on their own.

yallahbye · 12/08/2025 18:52

You sound like a single mom.

Next time she whines, tell her she has two options:
a. Help with house chores, gardening, food preparation, clean your bike etc..
or
b. Go to your room, read or entertain yourself

The problem is that modern kids don’t help their parents anymore with household tasks, they are just being entertained all day by mummy and daddy. These parents create a rod for their back.

Joystir59 · 12/08/2025 18:52

Why can't she just play either by herself or with friends in either her or their garden?

caringcarer · 12/08/2025 18:53

Sign her up to a sports camp for a week. She will love it and you could focus your attention on to your other indoor preferring DC.

LetsGoOnHoliday · 12/08/2025 18:53

How much outdoor or physical activity time is she actually getting? What does she like to do? I've got a child who needs an awful lot of outdoor time and to be busy so I do understand some of the challenges with that.

I totally agree that you don't need to entertain her 24/7 but I'm unsure about some of the advice that is based on the fact that you are doing loads with her and it would be good to understand if that is actually the case and what an average week does look like for you.

I appreciate that you have health issues and that must be very challenging but I'm struggling a little with the fact that you seem to think that her being outdoorsy with a zest for life is a bad thing and an issue rather than understanding that if you aren't providing her with an appropriate level of activity then she is likely to be frustrated and bored. I hope that this can help to reframe this in your mind. If you are needing to have a nap for an hour with an 8 year old and a younger child everytime you go out for a morning there are obviously some challenges in the house that she's having to work round and you are obviously doing the best you can so if we can understand it might help to advise stuff that works for all of you.

If she's physically tired she's more likely to be content in the house so if she's not I'd look at upping her activity levels and that doesn't all need to be facilitated by you. Kids need at least 1 hour of something that gets their heart rate up everyday (or averaged across a week) and that will look different for different kids.

Sports clubs like football, rugby, athletics, hockey etc , all would be good as are things like Cubs. I'd definitely be looking at some holiday clubs in future if possible. If she can swim could she look at swim clubs rather than lessons? Climbing walls, parkrun (if she does junior park run you wouldn't need to do it with her), trips to the beach, den building, skateboarding, hiking, etc. If you do live somewhere where she can play out safely then that's great too.

I will also say, from personal experience, if you'd had said ds not dd I suspect you may have got different answers to this.

caringcarer · 12/08/2025 18:54

Close to me they have girls cricket and football as well as multi sports weeks.

Profhilodisaster · 12/08/2025 18:56

SeaToSki · 12/08/2025 12:25

At that age one good way to cure the I’m bored problem is that when they moan about being bored, just say excellent if you have nothing to do, you can clean the kitchen, take out the bins, weed the garden, sweep out the garage, tidy your bedroom etc. They soon stop asking and find something to entertain themselves. I would make sure that she has options that she likes to entertain herself though, so some roller skates, a skipping rope, permission to walk to a local playground etc

Absolutely, if we dared to use the B word, we'd find a duster heading our way!