5yo birthday party ok to ask books for presents?

[JMGSinging]

Hi my oldest DS will start reception in September, and his birthday will be in October. We are planning to invite his whole class plus family and friends, so ~40 kids in total. I can’t face bringing home 40 presents as there are too many toys in the house already and we have no more storage space. Would it be socially acceptable to ask for a book instead of a toy? How would you put it in the invite? I was also very tempted to make it a book exchange party, so every kid will leave with a book from someone else and I won’t have to make 40 party bags 🙈 I just hate all the plastic tats in the typical party bags. I’m not sure if I should do something different like this given that it will be his first party with the new classmates, or should I just follow what most kids party’s like re presents and party bags. Appreciate your opinions!

I think a book lucky dip sounds great, but if I was hosting, I would take maybe 5 for those parents who don't 'get it'.

I love the book lucky dip idea, I assume it's like secret Santa in a way, everyone brings a book (wrapped up?) for someone else, and they get picked out at random? There's so much tat from party bags and books are amazing and not super expensive.

I would be DELIGHTED to have a book exchange rather than a party bag! Lovely idea

A book exchange and no presents sounds great as a parent but let's be honest a 5 year old would prefer presents and party bags and at the end of the day the party is for them. If you don't want 40+ gifts then I wouldn't hold a whole class party.

No 5yo is going to chose a book swap over a ile
of toot presents.
let them have them
presents for a couple of years and then the parties will be smaller anyway.

If you make it a book exchange party does that mean DS gets just one book as a present? I mean that’s fine, but maybe a bit tough on him when he goes to the next party and sees his friend getting loads of presents.

Our school had a system (decided by parents) where everyone brought a card containing £5 to the party. That then added up to the value of a nice present or two for the birthday child. (Parties were usually around 8 -15 kids though.) There were party bags, but they were mostly just sweets, not plastic stuff.

This sounds ideal for what you want, but is it ideal for a 5 year old? Unless your son really loves books I don’t think it’s fair to request books instead of a gift. At most, I might steer people towards a gift voucher, but otherwise I would let him have the joy of a pile of presents from his friends and family, and have a good clear out of old toys before the event.

Similarly, the purpose of a party bag is for you the host to thank people for coming. That isn’t done by them taking away a book having given one themselves. A book swap is a brilliant idea for the kids of the same age attending, but I’d keep it as a party activity. A party bag doesn’t need to be filled with crap. It can be simple - some crayons, bag of sweets, piece of birthday cake, some other small toy such as bricks/yoyo/puzzle/etc.

It’s not your party though, it is his. What does he want? Does he want a book exchange (this is slightly wanky IMO, and gives the added pressure for other parents to procure a book rather than stick a tenner in a card) or does he want loads of pressies and plastic tat in a party bag?

I have done books as party bags before, with a little personalised “thank you for coming to my party” and it was well received. We of course bought the books and handed them out as the children left. You really cannot dictate what other parents bring in terms of a gift.

I only ask for specific presents if people ask for suggestions for presents, when invited, I usually ask parents for ideas of presents unless my kid already knows what the child likes and have their own idea for a present they want to get them. I usually fill party bags with edible treats including crisps packet to bulk up, maybe also a balloon and a pencil. 40 guests is an insane amount, regardless of presents, luckily I doubt they would all attend!

Asking for books as a present fine, although personally I wouldn’t actively request it, only if people ask what he wants. The book exchange creates a lot of pressure - I wouldn’t go down that route. What if you don’t end up with enough for each child or some books are unsuitable - presumably you won’t actually know but given they are given amount at your party, you do need to make sure things being given out are suitable

Kids love presents and kids love party bags. I totally get the temptation to change it up but it's for them ultimately, not you.

Everyone should do this!

You can’t really request a presents for a party - they’re not a condition of attending but a lovely addition if you get them. Not all parents can afford a book. An optional book exchange for anyone who wants to participate (outside of presents / party bags) would be a nice activity alongside the other party activities though.

I think this might be a better idea for Y1 or 2, when everyone knows each other better. Essentially, if done this early on in reception, your first contact with many parents will be a prescriptive party invite with instructions about gifts, when most of them are already taking in a load of instructions from a new school. I think it always comes across badly to tell people what to do about presents when you don't really even know them.

I mean great idea but not for a birthday that's part of the excitement for kids the suprise presents and it won't be long before they won't be bothered lol

I don't think this is fair on your child unless they really want 30 books and not 30 presents. They only get a few whole class parties. I also don't think you can specify presents.

Book exchange sounds confusing for parents who let's face it are probably going to a party every other weekend. I don't think it makes a good first impression to be really prescriptive.

Book party bag is a nice idea if that's what your child wants. I hate plastic tat although you could do other things like pack of seeds, wooden toy etc.

As someone said great for parents but op as a child would you not have been miserable to get books? A lot will possibly give vouchers or money anyway, those with older siblings definitely will

My little boy is nearly 4 and I've been to a couple of parties where we take cake and a book home so no party bags. I thought it was a great idea. Birthday child still got a gift tho so that doesn't help that aspect.

Just do presents and if your dc has it all already then save them in the cupboard for all the millions of school fetes and Christmas lucky dips you'll have to provide for.

I don’t think you can specify for this type of party. People will often regift things they have doubled up on or stock up on gifts on the sales.

I also don’t like the idea of a book exchange thing. It comes across to me like you’re putting the work of hosting onto your guests by making them provide their own party bags.

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Books instead of party bags - absolutely fine, several have done this where I live

Books instead of presents - less fine, seems unfair on your child who will see others getting presents at their own parties throughout the year. I think you may be underestimating how big a deal the presents are at this age.
Also I have to be honest I don't buy gifts for parties, I will usually regift duplicate presents or else I have an emergency drawer of pre bought generic gifts. This would be one more job for me, a bit annoying.

Book exchange - I don't think this will work in practice, too many people will not bother or not read the invitation properly, I think you overestimate how organised other parents are, bear in mind some will have older kids and be juggling several activities and parties on whatever day you have yours

For a reception aged whole class party whereby he has only known the children a month? Nope. 5 year olds love the presents and enjoy party bags, they dont have to be full of tat- sweet cones go down well here. Books are great when theyre a bit older, but even children who love books are unlikely to be excited over a random book they possibly have, might not be able to read or have any interest in at that age. Its a party for him and not you.

Just go with it. I did it, it was a lot and never again. But it was magical for him. As for party bags you can avoid the tat: I made colouring sheets in Canva with their name and “thanks for coming to my party”, with some inexpensive crayons, stickers, an origami toys (a lot of work but there are a lot of options, eg jumping frogs) and sweets. I also did snap bands because DC collects them but I wouldn’t have done if it wasn’t something he loved.