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I love my almost 4 year old but..

42 replies

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 18:15

I didn’t particularly like her today 😔 hard work is an understatement! The bad days are few and far between now but I think it makes them even harder to handle. It can’t just be me 🤷‍♀️ 😢

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 27/07/2025 19:31

Definitely not just you. I don’t believe the Parents who adore them every minute if every day. I do love them but sometimes I just don’t like how theor are behaving.

ooooohlala · 27/07/2025 19:37

Today, I’ve adored every minute with my 5yo. Yesterday, really not so much as she was bloody awfully.

It’s not just you….

MummaMummaJumma · 27/07/2025 19:48

It’s not just you, my 4 year old son is either the sweetest child ever or he is sitting in the middle of the park, refusing to move because i said it’s time to leave and shouting “Mummy, YOU’VE MADE ME SOOO ANGRY!!”. 5 minutes later he is calling me his best friend again. I try to let it go over my head but it’s a rollercoaster 🎢.

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GrooveArmada · 27/07/2025 19:51

Well my DS had a wonderful few days and today he is HIDEOUS. Honestly, there are no words. He's normally a very kind boy and very smart and helpful, but JFC he's currently screaming on top of his lungs demanding DH reads him books after DH was waiting and asking him numerous times to join him and got completely ignored. You can't win. He's totally unreasonable at times. Sympathy!

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 19:56

@GrooveArmadaThis sounds very similar to the mood my daughter has been in today. We’ve had to start a ‘pasta in the jar’ reward system for good listening ears. Never tried ANY reward system before as she’s always been great but today’s been horrific. I am sorry but also relieved it’s not just me. Thank you

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twobabiesandapup · 27/07/2025 20:00

Funnily enough read this thread as I’d not long been thinking that today is the first day since he was born that I’m so glad my 20 month old is out my face and fast asleep in bed! He’s an absolute sweetheart but today a mixture of tiredness and being overexcited have turned him into a wailing, ignorant little gremlin. When his dad was doing the bedtime routine with him and said as he always does “it’s time for ds to go to….” (my little boy finishes with the word bed), I muttered under my breath “piss off” 🙈😂

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 20:03

twobabiesandapup · 27/07/2025 20:00

Funnily enough read this thread as I’d not long been thinking that today is the first day since he was born that I’m so glad my 20 month old is out my face and fast asleep in bed! He’s an absolute sweetheart but today a mixture of tiredness and being overexcited have turned him into a wailing, ignorant little gremlin. When his dad was doing the bedtime routine with him and said as he always does “it’s time for ds to go to….” (my little boy finishes with the word bed), I muttered under my breath “piss off” 🙈😂

😂😂 I’m sorry you’ve had a horrible day too! maybe it’s the weather!?

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GrooveArmada · 27/07/2025 20:05

I swear this must be the worst day of being a parent in this house in 4 years, he's absolutely ridiculous. And it makes no sense, other than some developmental stuff? Or break from school? But Jesus Christ. I told DH this afternoon to take him to the GP and psychiatrist because I honestly don't know if it's normal anymore.

lifeandcake · 27/07/2025 20:06

4 is horrid. They are such hard work, think they know best, easily irritated, head strong, loud, annoying knob heads!
were at 5.5 now and it’s getting better, but I didn’t like 4.

GrooveArmada · 27/07/2025 20:06

I'm sat in my bedroom and took myself out of this because he's honestly hurting my ears and my brain. He's only got quieter now after 30+ mins of hell, probably a fifth time today, it's absolutely never been this bad.

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 20:07

@GrooveArmadaif you don’t mind me asking how old is your son? Has he already started school? Mine starts in September and I was wondering if this behaviour could be because she’s ’outgrown’ nursery and needs a new challenge (to tire her out) 🤞🏼

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lifeandcake · 27/07/2025 20:07

Also didn’t know if it was normal. Googled lots, mumsnet’d lots. Convinced myself he had ADHD, PDA, ASD, all of if. He doesn’t, he’s fine but I think some 4 year olds are really hard work.

GrooveArmada · 27/07/2025 20:08

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 20:07

@GrooveArmadaif you don’t mind me asking how old is your son? Has he already started school? Mine starts in September and I was wondering if this behaviour could be because she’s ’outgrown’ nursery and needs a new challenge (to tire her out) 🤞🏼

Same age as yours - he was in preschool and Rec in September. Sending love your way!!!

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 20:15

@lifeandcakethe same thoughts have crossed my mind!! She’s not 4 for another month yet so I guess this may be the sign of things to come 😬😬

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lifeandcake · 27/07/2025 20:24

@TheMAFSfan sorry Op I just re-read both my posts and didn’t mean to sound so negative, but I wanted to convey the message that you’re not along type thing!
what I will say is it hasn’t been horrid all the time, DS has always had lovely moments too, but age 3 and 4 were tough for us, big emotions, he also struggled with potty training which was a stress for everyone involved, but what I will say is I think sometimes the ones who are most difficult are the most bright, and I like to think it will pay off eventually ☺️

Wishihadanalgorithm · 27/07/2025 20:25

I see your almost 4 year old and raise you an 11 and a half year old girl in the midst of full on puberty!

I don’t know what to say other than solidarity. It’s hard being a parent!

Webred · 27/07/2025 20:29

Totally agree with that feeling today. My almost 4 year old has been terrible today. Multiple tantrums, screaming, crying, refusing to get out of the car, refusing to play at soft play that was paid for.
And to top it off I’m separated from their dad and my almost 4 year old said to me ‘I don’t want to live with Mummy, I want to live with Daddy’ - this just broke my hear after such a hard exhausting day!!

Greendiamondbee · 27/07/2025 20:30

My sweet angel 😂 is 4 in October and my word she has been hard work for about 6 weeks now. Is it a leap? Not sleeping until 10pm and awake during the night like the early days. Then even a 20 minute nap completely throws off bedtime.
Highly strung, stamping feet, will only wear dresses/skirts. I don't know where she gets it from 😅🙋🏼‍♀️

Fouristhenew · 27/07/2025 20:33

SAME!

My eldest is 4y2m old, and I think the last week or so has been the most challenging period of parenting yet. Massive meltdowns, defiance, being really silly and overstepping the mark and seemingly unable to stop this, lashing out at his sister.

I am hoping some of it is to do with a change in routine - he’s broken up from pre-school. Trying to pare things back and make our plans more relaxed. Digging deep into my reserves of patience but it’s tough!

TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 21:27

@Webredthat is heartbreaking! I would be really upset too x hope you have a better day tomorrow!

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TheMAFSfan · 27/07/2025 21:31

Wishihadanalgorithm · 27/07/2025 20:25

I see your almost 4 year old and raise you an 11 and a half year old girl in the midst of full on puberty!

I don’t know what to say other than solidarity. It’s hard being a parent!

I am so not ready 🫠 puberty and teenage years are so hard for both girls and boys. So many hormones and changes and being forced to make decisions so young.

Us parents must stick together! 🤭

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DeliciouslyBaked · 27/07/2025 21:34

So glad I found this thread. My 4yo has been such hard work the last few weeks. She will literally argue that black is white and if I correct her on something she has incorrectly told me, we get hysterical tears. Im sure its connected to the school transition, overtired, big feelings etc but I am looking forward to this phase ending... 🫩🥴

NoEffingWay · 27/07/2025 21:52

My DS is a fair bit older now but I remember the summer before he started school was challenging! It felt like he needed to be in school. I did a lot of reward charts and also gritted my teeth a fair bit. 😂

TheBirdintheCave · 27/07/2025 21:54

GrooveArmada · 27/07/2025 20:05

I swear this must be the worst day of being a parent in this house in 4 years, he's absolutely ridiculous. And it makes no sense, other than some developmental stuff? Or break from school? But Jesus Christ. I told DH this afternoon to take him to the GP and psychiatrist because I honestly don't know if it's normal anymore.

I said exactly the same about my four year old this evening. Four has been such a tough age for us.

MummaMummaJumma · 27/07/2025 21:58

I really don’t remember the relentlessness with my Daughter. My daughter’s worst tantrum is my son mildest one! Maybe something was in the air in 2020/2021 🤪