Potty training - is he too young?

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We’ve started today! My son is 22 months old and has been showing signs of being ready for a few weeks. We bought the potty about 5 weeks ago just for him to see it around etc but…

It’s not going well.

ok - so it’s been 4 hours so I might be a little preemptive saying that but so far we’ve had numerous accidents and not once on the potty. Is he just too young? Am I pushing this too early?

FYI - his communication is great. He can say wee/poo/potty - “mumma poo” etc so I don’t think that’s the issue. I think he’s intellectually ready I am just sure if he is emotionally ready?

Or am I giving up before we’ve even given it a real chance?

What are you doing, i.e. are you using a specific method, or are you just leaving the potty around to see if he uses it?

i think you'd be doing very well to potty train a 22month old boy!! ok, there will be folk who've done it but they'll be very much in the minority. It's not even about intellect or emotions, they need to know when they need to go. If you've only just bought the potty I would start by sitting him on it before bathtime to see if he can go then.

I found that it was absolutely pointless until mine could 'wee on demand' so you'd ask them if they wanted a wee, take them to the toilet/potty and they'd do it. I did it that way with both of mine and they were reliably potty trained in about 48 hours. Nightmare sleepers, but potty training was a dream both times! Both were just before 3.

Just because he is using the words doesn't mean he necessarily understands when he needs to go. What we did at that age was keep nappies, but sat him on the potty a couple of times a day just casually. If he did something on it he got praise. This gave him the association of going on the potty being positive. We started proper potty training a few months later and it was really quick.

If your son is 22 months, I’d recommend doing the Oh crap method. He’s in the perfect age range for that. The first day is terrible though.

It can take days before you see any progress. People tend to give up very quickly and tell themselves that their child "wasn't ready" when it's really more about the parents mental state. If you're in the right headspace to push on the I'd do so and make the most of the warmer weather.

Is he saying 'mumma poo' before or after the event? He can feel that he's done one but not really give notice?
I've heard you just have them naked from waist down and kind of shove the potty under them when you see the signs? Not saying it's easy though! He is very young still.

I potty trained my son at 18 months and my daughter at 20 months (waited for better weather with her!). It can absolutely be done.

We used the Oh crap method which worked really well. Imo there is no such thing as “emotional” readiness. You just need to train them to identify the physical sensations of needing to wee and starting to wee, and link them with going to the potty. As long as they have enough communication ability to let you know so that you can help them (which your child clearly does), they will be able to do it.

With a young child of this age you will probably need to pull down their trousers and help them on to the potty btw - I think it’s a bit unrealistic for them to do it wholly independently until they are closer to 3.

The way the oh crap method works is to keep them naked from waist down, watch like a hawk, when you see them start to wee, move them to the potty. That helps them to identify the need to wee/weeing feeling, whereas if they don’t already have that control/knowledge they won’t be able to wee on demand, so putting them on the potty will be pointless. That should click with them quite quickly, but they won’t be able to give you much notice - that develops over time. Good to do it over summer so they can be in the garden commando.

It took 4 days of no pants with DS and 3 days with DD and they were both fully dry in the day with no accidents from then on (people often say early training = more accidents, not at all true for my kids). Poo took a bit longer with DS (he kept doing it in his bedtime nappy so had less practice opportunities) but DD got it straight away.

NB night time dryness is separate, hormone dependent and can’t be trained. Normal for boys to be later with this. DS was 4.5, DD was 2.5. Neither have ever wet the bed either.

I think most of the research points to this being the best stage to get them started. Just be really boring if he gets it wrong and say next time on the potty.

I used to randomly pretend to be on the phone to people and say oh he's going to do a wee on the potty soon what a big boy. Within hear shot.

Just keep talking about it in a positive way and he will get there.

Not at all, that's about the right age. I did it at 2.5 and feel I was leaving it a bit late. Apparently after 3 it all becomes much harder. Can I suggest using a proper method rather than doing something random. It takes about a week of intense training, in saying that DC got peeing within a day. Good luck!

ok so more info-

I’ve been keeping him naked from the waist down and taking him to sit in the toilet every 20 mins or so (which he started off by crying horribly at which is odd as we’ve had him sitting on it for a while but that has got better throughout the day). I sing songs/ encourage him to stay on it for a couple of minutes and then let him be.

So far it’s been three wees (on the floor) even though all of them I hadn’t long had him sit on the potty. When he does this I’ve just stayed very calm and said “we do our wee wees on the potty” and then walk him over and he sits on it.

I’ve got some stickers/ chocs for when he does go. Currently he’s having a nap and I did put him in a pull up for that but intend to remove it once he’s awake.

I do appreciate all your advice.

As per my post, it doesn’t really work to sit them on the potty and tell them to wee because they can’t control that yet. If they do a wee while on it it’s just by chance, and it might help them catch on, but it’s hit and miss, will take ages and is boring for both of you.

What you need to do is let him play, off the potty but near it, and lift him to the potty as he starts to wee. Yes there will be a bit of a mess but that is the quickest way to results. You need to show him that “needing to wee = move to potty”. Not “sit on potty and hope wee comes out”.

I trained my boy at 20 months. Just be consistent. Oh Crap is a good read.

We did Oh Crap too (at 2.5) and I wished I'd done it earlier - it worked well but once trained, DS was a bit stroppier about being prompted than he might have been when he was younger. Current plan is to train DS2 using the same method when he's just turned 2, which is when we'll have enough time off work. As a PP says, you watch him like a hawk and then ideally get him onto the potty just before he starts weeing (this will probably be just after he starts weeing at first, until you get your eye in).

We got lucky with DS1 because he was quite regular at pooing around teatime, so on the first day I put him on the potty as soon as I saw him bend forward slightly at the waist around 5pm and he did a massive poo straight away.

I'd definitely read the whole book though if you want to try Oh Crap - then you'll have a good sense of why it's designed the way it is, even if you don't follow it to the letter.

Just went to look for this “oh Crap” book as so many of you are recommending it and it’s not on prime! Or kindle! Looks like I’ll be popping to a book shop tomorrow 😂

in the meantime I’ll keep going. I’ll stop taking him to sit on the potty and wait until he goes like you recommended. Are there any particular words/phrases I should be using with this?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting/dp/1668079550/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2X6J4RMQJFZ9P&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Gg8oVIhIsKy6Ly0p-BpKFYv2NAlfktp6Sox0PqiOp4HCHRpuxf11eKIbUwCu_pGhfBKpFfYt6fpqeio0TXac4Y7tlLqTYxlfMqzvYHniLbrG_oGvt_9BKtFIFdSpWz56RiTmLKNyPCaY2NTpF1tLzh-c7LtNk3h8KZMXwN3QXFlW4DMHDStGrriahir_rRDJhHGmTsE3R-HwhJiKbg_E9bphFRzRZRqQawA06TulqyE.Qd1_O4l0mtUUs0epkQQ-hCxlhlZ-V-yvQCHy6_dBZ-w&dib_tag=se&keywords=oh+crap+potty+training&qid=1753451544&sprefix=oh+crap%2Caps%2C107&sr=8-1

You could just say (in a very positive tone, even if some wee goes on floor!) - “you’re doing a wee now! Let’s get it in the potty” or similar.

Up until now the wee has kind of just come out into their nappy without them necessarily attaching any significance to the sensations, so you’re just helping him label what he’s feeling, and from there work out the action that goes with it. It is actually a fairly quick process though exhausting as you have to give them very close attention.

When you get the book you’ll see that it has tips for spotting the signs that they’re about to go - for some kids it’s a lot more obvious than others. And massively celebrate the wins and don’t express anything negative about accidents.

I agree with all the oh crap method however I would sack this in today for a few weeks and start afresh that way after you've read the book. If he's already crying when you take him to the potty that's not something you want. And he is very young and I do think at that age lots (most, probably) children are actually genuinely too young to learn quickly. If you leave it a few weeks he won't barely be able to remember this 'attempt' if you sack it off very quickly so it won't derail.

My kids were trained loosely following the Oh Crap method. DC1 was 2 yrs 2 months, showed no readiness signs in advance, and basically trained themself within a couple of days. DC2 was 2yrs 9 months, again showed no signs of readiness in advance, took a couple of days to get it but after that was also trained within a few days. Only started him that late as I had been severely ill earlier in my pregnancy so not well enough to commit to it earlier. He was night dry too a month after that.

Are you in the Uk? It’s available on kindle for me?

Only put him on the potty when he's weeing, don't make him sit on it randomly.

Give him loads to drink, have him naked from waist down and in a confined area and as soon as he starts to wee get him on the potty and praise.

My DS is 22monthz and we are also in the process of training. Naked we’ve cracked but but clothing reintroduction is proving a challenge but I think that’s because we keep sticking him in pull ups for nursery.

We trained my son at 2.5 using the Oh Crap method also (although I’m not one for following the rule book exactly so I took what I picked up from reading once) he took 48-72 hours (we didn’t start until Saturday late afternoon). On the Monday he had 6 clothes changes at nursery. On the Tuesday I took him to the docs for his flu nasal spray and to the duck pond, we were out for 3 hours and not once did he go to the toilet and from then on he nailed it. We’ve had maybe 2 wet nights since and he’s now 6. Finally got him wiping himself about a year ago too Woop Woop!

First week with mine was awful ( especially first 3 days)
Than he got it ( he was 27 months)
You know your child. If you think he is ready give him more time
Good luck!

ERIC is a really good resource for potty training. www.eric.org.uk
There’s a helpline too

I think it's fairly reliable that they will need a wee about 20 mins after a big drink. I would start mentioning doing a wee a bit before he goes on the potty to get the thought working in his brain (that's why he does a wee soon after sitting on the potty just takes time for brain to register, actually I do need a wee), then after about 2 minutes, sit on the potty. I bet a wee comes out!