Controlled Crying - My dd has been crying for 50 minutes am I being cruel

[Trix11]

My dd is 21 months and was great at going to sleep but over the last week with one thing and another we have got into bad habits. Tonight I thought I would give this a try (its worked in the past within 30 mins) Its tearing me apart listening to her sobbing and calling mommy.

Please give me some strength!!!!!!!!

trix, when you get the answer to that one, give me a wave! My DD used to nap until she was say 2.3 and then we stopped it as she wasnt tired of a night, trouble is, the bed time is getting later and later again so????? if she is grouchy, let her nap, but maybe make sure it is before a certain time. But then, how to predict a grouchy child later in the day?? Hold on, perhaps i'll just check my baby manual

She likes a story so we could give her the choice of which one we read to her. Will try that. Thanks.

suzi, there is lots of good advice in there I am torn as to whether to reintroduce naps, i regret losing them but she hasnt had one for ages............??

Sometimes it really is so hard to know what to do for the best - you get so much conflicting advise. Now my dilemma is - what do we do tomorrow evening when we put her down and she cries

smug I love your post! And absolutely agree. This should be applied to every bit of worry concerning those pesky kids

just one word of warning re the choice thing, our DD is a little dictator - and can spend quite some time vascillating between books We read three a night, it was getting ridiculous at one point, reading for oever an hour, smart little fox

lol, DS often picks the books that he knows takes me longest to read. I've started saying "I don't like that one" to him and he's taking the hint.

Trix - We have been doing CC the past few nights as we were the same as you, had got out of routine (DS 16 mos) and he has been refusing to go to sleep, standing in his cot and bellowing, chucking his pillow on the floor along with his raggy and dummy.

So after a month of this we have decided enough is enough! It took 40 mins last night (going in ever 5 mins, picking up debris from floor, putting his cot back in order, laying him down, putting dummy in, stroking his hair and then saying 'time for sleepies now'. Took 10 mins tonight. Hoping it's not beginners luck! I'll prob be eating my words tomorrow night.

In answer to you original question - you aren't being cruel if you are going in not just leaving her to cry it out.

At 21 months I think a nap of an hour or two after an earlyish lunch (i.e up by say 2.30 in time for the school run) would be a good idea. I really really beilieve that within reason sleep breeds sleep, and she may just be so knackered that she can't quite get to her own off switch.

If she's up from an afternoon nap early enough it shouldn't interfere with her night sleep. DS is 2 and three quarters and probably every other day he'll have a nap of an hour or so at about 1pm - 2pm. Still goes to bed by 8pm, then up at 7am. Means he gets to see DH too and that we're not too rushed in the evening.

Oh Trix x-posts. Stick with it otherwise it is all for nothing as she will realise if she keeps at it long enough you will cave and pick her up. That has been our trouble - I had been picking him up after a while.

I agree pooka - in this house sleep really does breed sleep. I find that sometimes DS and DD nap until later in the afternoon (4ish) and they're not ready for bed at night. But we still put them down at 7ish as usual. Because they're not overtired, they're not grouchy about it and just play and chat for a while until they are tired. We try to have a general rule of up by 3:30 but I hate to wake them as that makes them (and me!) miserable for the next 4 hours...

Oh I find the waking horrible too! But then I have to leave by 3 at the latest to collect dd from school. If ds doesn't have an earlier nap he often nods off on the walk to school, which is good too, because it means I get to chat to friends at the gate, and then dd all the way home. He'll then wake at 4pm ish. It doesn't seem to affect his night sleep dramatically. He may go to sleep perhaps 45mins later, but not too bad really.