Co parent wants to up his days

[becct]

My 2 year old sees his dad every Sunday for 8 hours and has the occasional stay over. My ex wants to increase to EOW.

I'm unsure of this as DS has just got used to the current routine and I feel this will just disrupt him again, he is also increasing his nursery days soon too, so another big transition for him. I want to keep things as they are so my DS isn't unsettled again. But the other parent doesn't see my view. Am I being unreasonable. I do work full time as well.

I don’t understand. Every other weekend (EOW) for the whole weekend?

Of course his dad should see him more often.

Every other weekend is still absolutely pathetic, 48 days of visits a year is not parenting. Why does he not want to parent 50/50?
It doesn't seem like it would be a huge change for the child, only a few hours more.

You are being massively unreasonable. His dad is as much his parent as you are, yet he sees him for approx 8 hours and you get all the rest?
Your child has the right to develop a close relationship with both of his parents. His dad has every right to expect a fairer division of time

Courts usually award 50/50 for children once they are no longer breastfeeding infants so you are very unreasonable to not at least do EOW unless you have a very good reason (ie you think the coparent or their environment is dangerous for your child).

I don't think OP's ex is asking something unreasonable.

However from OP's point of view, she works full time so presumably doesn't see her DS much during the week, so "all the rest" doesn't actually amount to much.

OP, I'd also be sad to give up alternate weekends, but that's probably realistic and fair when you're separated. Is there any way you could afford to switch to part time hours for a year or two? Or work compressed hours to give you a day with your DS during the week?

How many hours is he thinking of?
A court would allow overnight EOW for a 2 year old but if your ex is thinking 2 nights then you might need to ask him for 1 night for a few weeks before jumping to 2.

ideally I think it should be split 50/50. But you would be massively unreasonable to deny your child at least eow with his father.

I’m confused, if he goes to EOW won’t it be less?

op come back and clarify

I split from my ex when my children were 5 and 2. Honestly I found the more contact the children had with my ex the more willing they were to go. In fact to start with they only did every 3rd weekend (my ex’s choice not mine) and they struggled with that more. The sooner the children get into a longer term routine the better for everyone. My kids now do EOW plus Monday nights and they are used to it and go there quite happily, even though they do miss me. Ideally my ex would do more but he won’t. I’d encourage as much contact as possible.

If he has the occasional sleepover, moving to staying over every Saturday night is not really a big change. Then working up to two nights a weekend. It’s very very reasonable so I would be wary of seeing it as something else.

Yes you are being unreasonable. Talk to him about it and see then give him
tome to acclimatise. Best to do it now before the change in nursery days. After a couple of
times DS will be fine with it.

fear of change or being unsettled isn’t enough of a reason to restrict contact with the other parent.

he gets 8 hours a week currently. 32 hours a month

every other weekend gives him 48 hours twice a month.

YABVU…
His Dad doesn’t see him much at all as it is and if it’s EOW for the entire weekend, that’s still not very much either. So your child will need to adjust like every other change in life, but they will settle again, and this is a very good reason. That relationship needs to be nurtured imo.

Right I assumed she meant 8 hours eow

I don't understand why so many people push 50/50 with young children. Would you want to not see your child half the time?!

I have a 2 and 4 year old. They go to their dad's EOW Friday pick up through to around 10am Sunday. The other week he has them overnight for one week night. This works well for us as it's not the whole weekend.

Does his dad barely see him out of choice?

if it has to be your original arrangement or EOW, methinks he chose EOW as it means he has time to himself the other weekends especially if he works FT.

he should be seeing his child more

Yes, YABU, your child deserves to see his dad so he can build a proper relationship with him

She might mean every other week, not every other weekend. I think he’s too young for every other week but it should definitely be increased gradually with a view to eventually moving to 50/50 in a few years.

I’m defiantly of the opinion that separated parents should have equal access to their children.
The ideal senario being that the parents move house and the child stays in the same home. Although I realise this is not often possible or desirable for many people. So I’m obviously going to think that your LOs other parent should be able to spend more time with their LO.

Currently he only sees him every Sunday by his choice. He doesn't even pick him up until half way through the day, again his choice.

I'm ok with him having him EOW Saturday morning to Sunday night, I'm just worried about let downs and cancelled time as this has happened a lot, or he's been late, or changed plans last minute, my DS has also come back from his dad's twice with facial bruising apparently due to play. Also before we split he had no interest in any day to day care of DS

Start with 1 night and build up from there.

Why has he decided to up his time BTW?
Does he have a new partner?

Keep pictures of any bruising when he comes back from his dad's house, how did he explain them each time?

He only wants one night every other week, no new partner that I'm aware of!

I've kept records of everything, he says he fell over but from where the markings are, and what DS says it doesn't quite add up

Did you report the facial bruising to social services? what did they say?

Make it clear that the first time he changes plans last minute you will stop the contact and he'll have to take you to court. Make sure you have records of every time he has done this.

I didn't no, as he said it happend whilst playing and falling over and I know there would be no intential harm