Co parent wants to up his days

[becct]

My 2 year old sees his dad every Sunday for 8 hours and has the occasional stay over. My ex wants to increase to EOW.

I'm unsure of this as DS has just got used to the current routine and I feel this will just disrupt him again, he is also increasing his nursery days soon too, so another big transition for him. I want to keep things as they are so my DS isn't unsettled again. But the other parent doesn't see my view. Am I being unreasonable. I do work full time as well.

If you knew there would be no intentional harm there, why would you mention this? I’m wondering what the purpose of sharing that was.

I agree with other PP to increase gradually, and to see how it goes. If he becomes unreliable or cancels a lot last minute, you might then be able to readjust. Unfortunately these are issues that come with co-parenting, but it would be helpful if both parents are consistent.

One night eow doesn’t seem unreasonable. He needs to be building up his parenting time.

perhaps the next step once this adjustment is settled could be a weekly evening on a weeknight. You have to figure out how to balance visit with things like bedtime routines and that will depend on the child. Some kids might be fine with dinner and bath with dad. Some might need to be home for the full bedtime routine.

Bit of a drip feed that isn't it? You're told you're being unreasonable and suddenly he's unrealiable and potentially unsafe? It's hard to know what's true.

Frankly, one night every other weekend doesn't seem like a big deal. And it sounds like he's not actually going to collect at 10am on a saturday. So lunch time to lunch time or whatever, seems perfectly reasonabe and no, it won' tbe that disruptive for your child.

Well, precisely. Why wouldn't this man want to parent at least 50%?

Either he’s not safe around your son and doesn’t have him at all or he is safe around him and has an equal right to a relationship with him. But the current arrangement sounds quite ad hoc and should be firmed up for everyone’s sake.

EOW seems fine, BUT he needs to demonstrate commitment and consistency to what has already been agreed so far.

So when he’s turning up on time for his Sundays, when he’s never cancelling. He’s doing all the work of things on those days, nappy changed regularly, proper meals provided, etc. Because cancelling a day out is not the same as cancelling a whole weekend.

I’d keep a record and discuss in a few months. My guess is he wants a weekend back for going out and having a lie in on a Sunday.

Um sorry, facial bruising? On a 2 year old? Please contact your health visitor or social services to discuss if it's safe for your child to go there.

Because do you not think the other parent feels the same.

I think it really does a disservice to father/child relationships. They never really get be decision makers or long term parents for their children. It encourages low level involvement in parenting their kids if they are only allowed 4 days a month.

Op scratches and bruises on children are normal unless you think his DH is unsafe? Which means he should be going at all and you should contact social services about it.

him being a bit late is not enough reason to keep him from 2 over nights a month. you cannot get caught up on your relationship gripes and use that to hamper contact. it is irrelevant.

you can only try and then make adjustments where needed. Rather than refuse based on potential and start getting things acrimonious and then ending up in court sorting contact