Is working full time the problem with my family life?

[arcticsable]

I work full time in a senior management position. I enjoy my job but I’m worried that it’s all too much. After a particularly stressful week I’ve got to the weekend with water thin patience and a real need to have some time to myself (which won’t happen as DH is away). The constant whines of “mummmmyyyy” from my three DS’s (3,3,6) are really, really, grating and I’ve been on the go the whole time. I had five minutes to myself to have a cup of tea after dinner yesterday and my eldest decided it would be funny to have a poo in the garden, which I then had to clean up…

I’ve been grumpy with them all weekend which is probably making them act up. I feel
like there’s too much to do, and a real lack of 1:1 time with them which is making nice, heartwarming interactions really hard to come by.

I really like my job, it’s as flexible as it could be and has good career progression so I don’t want to take a step back and then discover that actually it doesn’t make me feel better (or make be a better parent) after all.

Any thoughts? Any tips for actually recharging? Finding some other source of patience?!

Fantastic post @JaninaDuszejko

I’m in a similar position to you OP although I only have two kids (no twins and I take my hat off to you). I haven’t quite found the right way to balance it all yet. DH absolutely pulls his weight but we both work full time and it’s a juggle. We do outsource cleaning, gardening, meal boxes and window cleaning. Childcare is the big challenge as babysitters where I live are generally super unreliable - either disinterested teenagers or flaky adults. We live on the same street as our youngest’s nursery, which helps immensely.

I think it is ok and actually important to prioritise some downtime for yourself. I sometimes (every few months) hire someone from the nursery to take the kids for a couple of hours at the weekend so that I can either sort the house out or do exercise, or sometimes I leave the house while they stay in. I use my WFH lunch breaks to exercise and office lunch breaks to shop/get nails done etc. I focus on carving out pockets of selfish time and not feeling guilty about it.

One compromise I made at work was to choose a company that is UK-only so I never have to work crazy hours on calls with other countries. The travel is minimal too and only ever one night at a time. It’s a 9-5 industry which is enormously helpful.

Exactly

Well its the op asking the question, not the man