Have your babies before your 40

[starcloud]

There iv`e said it i bloody hate it.
My eldest are 22 and 23 and moved out why didnt i leave it at that no here i am with a 5 year old at 50.

I love him but my god it is harder than the first 2.
I want to put slippers on and sit down not read stories and bath time.
I dont want to hear mummy no more than once i heard you the first time.
Sorry sister i cant come on that get away i have no child care.
Hi there exh sorry i pushed you for a another child it was my hormones not me.
Sorry friend i can come for a walk about my son will have a tantrum and sulk again and im skint.

Play dates can fuck right off school gate mums can piss off never had to deal with all this crap with my first 2.
Please dont wake me at 5-6am i want to sleep till 10.
Im peri and i cant be bothered with anything wait still have cleaning to do and never see the bottom of the laundry basket.

I love the weekends because exh comes to collect him on the friday bliss.
He is a hands on dad and dose have him more in holidays.

This six weeks holidays i might just book a holiday for 6 weeks.
Rant over.

Totally agree with you. Would not have believed how my energy levels would reduce from 40-50 and facing the prospect of working until I drop.

My mum was 42 having me and I was 47 having my twins.

My mum is now a healthy 94 year-old, and a loving granny to my 5-year olds. I believe having kids and grandkids late has kept her young. (I’ve older and younger siblings, and there’s other grandkids too).

I work full-time in a very demanding role. The advantage is I am financially comfortable and had 25 years doing what I wanted pre-kids, so I’m happy to devote all my free time to my kids. (Ideally I would have had them 10 years earlier though, but had a long IVF struggle).

I think it’s very different having your first child in your 40s, versus a second/third/fourth when you’re already exhausted from years of child-raising.

I'm 50 OP and the idea of having a 5 year old sounds like hell, right along with still having a child at school in your 60's sounds crazy! But you are in that situation and it's going to miserable for a long time if you can't find a way to start enjoying it more. Can you plan some fun stuff to do together in the holidays? Maybe a get away with your sister as well while your ex has your son? It really sounds like you need a few things to look forward to.

No sympathy from me.

Apparently it really does keep you young (there was some study on it). Have to admit, all the people I know who saved parenthood till their 40s look much better and much younger and seem fitter than the likes of me! Maybe that's based on a stereotype that richer people tend not to have children when they're very young, I don't know. It's good that people have more choices these days-there are some great parents of all ages, and people seem less judgemental about how a parent should look now.

I had my youngest aged 42. I am pretty happy with it and not feeling exhausted. I really love doing stories and bath time. I'm not bothered about having a social life so I don't get people pestering me to come on walks or trips away. I'm lucky to have a DH who fully shares the load of parenting so I get a break while still enjoying the time with the dcs, and no money worries so I'm able to pay for fun activities to spend time with my dcs. It keeps me busy but I'm not having to juggle it with ft work and I get down time when the dcs are at school, rather than having all my time taken up by kids and work. I cba with play dates though and choose not to do them and that makes my life easier.

Yeah that sounds very hard. My dad was 46 when I was born and he's very old now I have my own little children so it's sad for him to not be able look after them.

If it makes you feel any better, my Dad was 34 when I was born, and died when my children were 4 and 6, in his very early 70s. He was too unwell to ever look after them. I couldn't even bring them to see him much, as he got unwell a lot during the last year before his death. Then before this was Covid (when he was at his healthiest); this stole even more time. There are no guarantees based on age anyway.

Might not be for you but plenty of women your age love being a mother and everything that comes with it.