Bored of Reading to my Toddler

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hi all! My 21-month old is sharp, eloquent, and loves reading. Unfortunately, as she's a toddler, she also loves repetition, and for around a year has been insisting that I read the same books over and over and over, such that it drives me insane. I used to oblige as I wanted to foster her love of language, but even though we rotate our 70+ books regularly, and I've recently implemented a 'read twice' maximum for each book at a time, I still can't help but cringe and be visibly irritated when she brings me the same ten-page, (once charming) dull-as-dishwater folio that she brought to me an hour ago. Or being bored to tears of a book I've just rotated back in after the first re-read, having had months away from it.
I've tried reading her some of my books with limited success, but, understandably, she's not as interested in that, so it's not a viable substitute.
I want to keep reading to her, but I don't want to continuously buy new books from the charity shop, and the frequency of my boredom means that I can't rely on the library unless I want to walk there several times a week, which isn't really feasible. I also don't want to put her off by involuntarily groaning whenever she approaches me with a book. Does anyone have any advice? Many thanks in advance!

Some things she’s mentioned on this thread are not normal behaviours for your typical toddler

You are actually just taking the piss now, aren't you? Please, for the love of god, stop referring to toddlers as "not normal".

No I’m not. I didn’t say her toddler was “abnormal” to use your quotes. I said the behaviours aren’t normal or typical.

I think if you’re so wound up about this you would do well to stop quoting my posts and talking to me.

I'm aware you didn't use the word abnormal. But you have repeatedly described her as "not normal". Which means the same thing.

You seem to think "not normal" is significantly less offensive than "abnormal", but it's not. It's a judgemental and unpleasant way to describe people and/or their behaviour.

Right oh, I think it’s time to stop the conversation now. I’ve described the behaviours as not being normal or typical and I’m not going to change what I’ve said. As it’s stressing you out, probably time to call it a day.

I also think a yoto or a tonies would be excellent after you have finished her books at bedtime, or when you'd like a break during the day. If you have an alexa you could do similar. Also on YouTube there are excellent audiobooks or recordings of the rad along cassette things of days gone by. I enjoy the sesame street ones and wizard of Oz by ladybird audio classics.

Wait until she starts reading Biff and Chip books at school…I spent three sodding weeks on “Floppy up, Biff up, Chip up…oh no!!” You’ll look back on the rhyming toddler books with rose tinted glasses!

Well, clearly your opinion has developed since your first response, as you can't staddle both 'this is a normal part of parenting, suck it up', and 'this is obsessive and unusual behaviour'. So, what would you recommend now that you're enlightened I have an oddball as a daughter?

I was loose in my description of the two-hour incident because it was an off-handed reference and I didn't expect to be so thoroughly interrogated about it. She doesn't tire of books, even when she's tired. That was the point I was making; she's always interested in going round again. Shock horror, when we tested the limit and found there wasn't really one, it took time to wind her back down, she was up for over two hours past her bed time, purple-bagged, and still willing to read. We did not tease her by taking it away, watching her cry, and then reading again; once we were done, that was that. We did not read the book without so much as a toilet break for the entirety of the two hours. This was a bed-avoidant issue that has been addressed and fixed, but was an example of the fact that there was no 'just read until she gets bored of that book'. She didn't. I can't give you a an exact time for how long it took to figure that out, but I can say she was awake for two hours past bed time as a result.

She is happy and respectful of boundaries, boundaries that I had to set because she wants to read more, not because she will tantrum if we don't. She's a thoughtful and empathetic soul. She will ask, every time, 'read one more?' after the alloted two reads, and I will say 'No, we'll read this one later', then she will bring me another book, and another, until I say 'no more books right now, would you like to do X instead?' and she will oblige, but you can bet she's bringing me the first book again within the hour. She would keep going if she thought I would.

This thread isn't about her behaviour, she's a delight and I'm not concerned about her. What I am concerned about is that by reading the same books a minimum of eight times a day (X2 before breakfast, after lunch, before dinner, at bedtime on a conservative day), I read the same book a minimum of 108 times a fortnight. I get bored of the book, she's still really into it, what do I do about that? I don't want to get visibly agitated by 'Dear Zoo' on read 75, because she picks up on that, and I don't want her to associate reading with something negative. There are some books I can tolerate longer than others, but none that I can tolerate as long as she loves them. It's a shame, and I want to do right by her. I don't know if 'right' is setting boundaries or sucking it up and doubling down, just getting better at autopilot without engaging as intensively to placate her. The question is about my approach, not her being interested in books a little too much. You're way to hung up on the bed time thing; we trailed something, it didn't work; she loves pigeons and playing and bubbles, she just loves books and letters more.

Honestly, autism and other strains of neurodiversity run in the family, so it would be no suprise at all. But it's completely irrelevant to the discussion - okay, assume she's autistic, and that might be in some way useful to tell staff in three years when she starts school. How does that make 'Sharing a Shell' any less boring on round 150? And, I mean, I liked that book once, but it's round 150! She's a fantastic child, regardless of levels of normalcy, as I'm sure your DD is...This is such a silly tangent to go down! 'Normal' or not, she likes her books way more than I have the patience to handle, that's the only difficulty here.

Thank you for the suggestions! I've tried audiobooks from my library app but I think she prefers the physical aspect so a Yoto/Tony might be a good compromise to explore. I'm not too into tech substituting engagement, but if if fulfills something for her that I'm a little too agitated to give, then that is definitely worth a shot.

Yes I can. Because whether or not she’s displaying unusual behaviours, you still have to deal with being bored with kid stuff. All parents do. Whether that’s reading the same books on a loop, playing the same imaginary games on a loop, or when they’re older listening to all the facts they’ve memorised about dinosaurs, or Pokémon, or Minecraft. That’s being a parent. She’s on a developmental path that necessitates a lot of repetition.

You can fling words like oddball around as though I said them, but I didn’t, and my advice hasn’t changed no matter what is going on with your daughter. Rotate books, library, and Yoto player/audiobooks. There will always be an element of drudgery about some aspects of parenting. I don’t enjoy Hairy Maclary the millionth time around either. So what? You’re a parent-deal with it.

That being said, you are the parent. You are a person in your own right, you don’t have to do everything your daughter says. Your feelings do come into play. If you’ve read a book 3 times and have had enough, then say so. If she throws a fit, well she does have to learn that sometimes people don’t want to do exactly what she wants to do all the time over and over again. You don’t have to be bored to tears. On the 4th night of my son choosing the same book I told him honestly that we’d been reading that a lot and I’d quite like to read something else tonight, and maybe we could return to it in the morning. Children need to learn to come and go with others.

You are wildly over complicating a very normal part of parenting- autism or otherwise.

But I’ve said all this already. If you want another piece of advice here you go:

My son was like yours at 2 and a half. Not obsessive about reading the same book on repeat, but very into books and had a long attention span for reading books either together or by himself. At nearly 4 he is still like that and will take himself off to his room to read books on his own for long periods of time. I introduced simple chapter books to him before the age of 3. We would read a chapter a night. He loved choosing the same book every night but the chapter was different. There are lots of simple chapter books with pictures that toddlers who are advanced in their interest in books would enjoy.

This! I could read The Hospital Dog a hundred times as it reads so nicely, but a Peppa book not so much!

I'm not sure where you're getting this idea that I think I should never be bored -- I am asking for ways to make things seem less boring and frustrating because I know this is an important sacrifice I need to make. I will be bored, how put a better lid on that or otherwise make the boring thing less boring? That was the whole crux of the post.

Oddball was my choice of word because it is the most light-hearted, non-committal way to phrase not-normal in my lexis. I'm not offended by abnormality, DD has an abnormal hairline, too, it's not something I care about. My point is, there's no reason to harp on about what appears - to you, a stranger - abnormal when it doesn't even impact the advice you're giving, as you've so generously pointed out. Now that we've established that you think she shows atypical behaviour, and that makes no difference to what you think I should do, maybe let it die? A Tony or book rotation, thank you, that's all I wanted. We do rotate, doesn't make me happy to see the old books when they come back around, but they last a read or two longer than if they'd never left, I guess.

As mentioned with the two reads rule, the 'after X' trade, etc. I do set boundaries, and they're respected, and I'm so very thankful that I've never had to deal with a screaming toddler not getting their way. It's just not her nature to be like that. But I know she wants more from me, because she asks, politely, and I know that my threshold of patience is not as broad as perhaps it could be. I am fully aware that I'm cutting back on her favourite thing, a thing that is good for her, and that I otherwise want to encourage, so I want to find the best way to maximise her enjoyment and minimise my suffering (hyperbole, if you're wondering). No overthinking necessary, literally all I want is a way to read to my daughter with minimal boredom. I get bored on round two, but it takes significantly more than that to be visibly bored, such is my duty as a parent. I state frankly when we've read the same thing too many times; she's a gem about it, but she clearly still wants to keep going. And then comes the next book that will inevitably outlast me.

Your last paragraph was much more helpful, so thank you. We tried anthologies in a similar fashion a while ago, but I don't think she quite understood chapters/breaks and just wanted to power through the whole thing. It's been enough time that I can try again and hope she understands a bit more now, though. Did your son have any favourites to recommend?

OP, I’m sure you’ll take this in good spirits- are you autistic?

Chapter books/compendiums my son enjoyed from the age of 3:

Paddington,
Winnie The Pooh,
The Enormous Crocodile,
Enid Blyton story collections,
Beatrix Potter,
The Cat Who Wanted to Go Home

Why don’t you get her some books like The Snowman, or Journey, that don’t have any words. Just look at the pictures together and see what she says.

On the whole, my advice would be 'suck it up'. Practical ideas though... you could buy a classic nursery rhymes compilation and sing along to that as an alternative. Get audiobooks of things - we had Charlie & Lola (or Loh-ba as my DS would call her), Julia D's range, Alan Bennett doing Pooh (awesome for grown ups too; he is a legend) and many of Roald Dahl's stories.

My DS would ask me to narrate whole Roald Dahl books when we went on walks 😂 I must have retold the story of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory maybe 10-20 times, as well as the Twits and George's Marvellous Medicine (but less often, luckily). My DS loves books so I've thought it worth the sacrifice.

I also always wanted certain books all the time as a child...

I don’t think there are always ways to alleviate the boredom. For most people, Dear Zoo on repeat is boring, that’s just a fact and you just have to put up with half an hour of boredom or whatever for the greater good! I just don’t think there are always ways to make things less boring or frustrating 🤷🏼‍♀️
(that said, my 3 year old has learnt it by heart and reads it to my 21 month old which is a win I guess!)

Also, and I don’t know your child so apologies if I’m off here, but I have a child the same age and their attention span isn’t always very long (especially for things they don’t want!). Some of the things like anthologies just aren’t going to be that interesting for a child that age. Julia Donaldson books have always been a hit in our house. We also have a Toniebox and they each fall asleep listening to a different story (Cinderella for my eldest usually, hungry caterpillar for the youngest).

Anyway I think the point I’m trying to make is that it sounds like your little one is doing really well but unfortunately there aren’t always ways to make reading the same book for the 100tb time less annoying!

I had no idea it developmental so thank you!! I’ll try not to roll my eyes when Zog gets thrust at me again!!

But Seriosuly OP get a tonie box we love ours and she can play all her favourites on it again……. And again….. and again 🤣

I don't buy books until we have had it out from the library and I've still wanted to read it when we have run out of renewals. We get 4 lots of 3 weeks before things have to be returned and my daughter gets told it's time to let another child to read it and we can get it out again another time.

Bedtimes, she gets to pick 2-3 books depending on time and length of the books to read only once. One on the floor together the second in bed. We then sit in her room until she goes to sleep whilst we listen to the radio through headphones. We are there but not giving full attention.

During the day could you set times for reading so it's less continuous? What structure do your days have?

Does no one get their books from charity shops?! I never buy new, only new ones DS has in his overflowing bookshelf have been gifts. Our local one does 3 children’s books for £1. Yeah you get some doozies but also some absolute gems and we just donate back the non-hits. I’ve built an entire Julia Donaldson set out of second hand shops.

In good spirits? Sure, I'm happy to provide an honest answer, if that's what you mean. Beforehand, though, I'm curious as to why you'd ask. How do you think it interacts with a discussion about kids books being boring, when that is such a ubiquitous experience?

Great suggestions for books; we do have a mini Beatrix Potter collection, gifted recently, I'll test it out when the next rotation calls.

So many recommendations for the TonieBox, I'm amazed I'd never heard of it. Thoroughly noted, though, thank you!

Good luck with Zog, I've not yet had the pleasure 😁

Of course, I assumed that what everyone had been doing! 90% of her library is from the local charity shop, the others are gifts, save one or two that we've bought from, say, a wildlife sanctuary on a day out. They're more a substitute for a donation, though, and it's only when she shows specific interest.

That's a really good system. It would certainly save the storage space. I'm always a little worried about damage to library books that she gets really into, as a good chunk of her favourites have been thoroughly 'loved', particularly the flap/slider books. Thankfully, the older she gets, the more conscious she is of damage, so perhaps I can begin phasing in a something similar. As mentioned, we do utilise our library a lot, but I can redirect to another favourite if she's getting a little too hands-on with the library books.

Structure-wise, we have keystone points in the day, y'know, lunch, nap, walk/outdoor errands/B&R etc. But the time between is loose and is largely guided by what's been most interesting to her, as well as a few repetitions that I encourage, but I don't push if she shows no interest.

There isn't any specific reading time, save bedtime, but there are times she expects to be read to out of habit, such as before/after a nap, when we come home after a walk, after meals etc. Between those, at regular intervals, she will break from what she's doing, bring me a book and ask if we can read it, then bring me another and so on until I redirect to another activity. I wonder what specific reading time would even look like... It's just effused into life so effectively that I wouldn't know where to begin on reigning it in to one or two patches in a day 🤔

I appreciate the candor, especially as Dear Zoo is not far from following me into my dreams!

No apologies necessary; anthologies have been a bit tricky in the past because last time we tried she didn't really get the idea of a 'break' between stories and was confused as to why we weren't finishing the whole book like we do with the others. She kept insisting that we finish a monster anthology book that's a good inch or so thick! We did make it through, and after that she was happy just to go back to her favourite pages. Great for not getting bored, at least. Of course, that was pre-boundry setting, so a while ago, and I'm hoping she'll be in a better position to recognise individual stories and chapters as opposed to taking each book as a whole nowadays.

Julia Donaldson has been mentioned a couple of times, now; I wonder if I've been bogged down with too many bad books. I'll definitely keep my eye out for the name, thank you!

Oh god I had to read Fairy Magic everyday for what felt like 100 years

I am asking for ways to make things seem less boring and frustrating because I know this is an important sacrifice I need to make. I will be bored, how put a better lid on that or otherwise make the boring thing less boring?

Get some wireless earbuds and put on some chillout music or something for you to listen to while you read.