Bored of Reading to my Toddler

[NoKusuAllowed]

Hi all! My 21-month old is sharp, eloquent, and loves reading. Unfortunately, as she's a toddler, she also loves repetition, and for around a year has been insisting that I read the same books over and over and over, such that it drives me insane. I used to oblige as I wanted to foster her love of language, but even though we rotate our 70+ books regularly, and I've recently implemented a 'read twice' maximum for each book at a time, I still can't help but cringe and be visibly irritated when she brings me the same ten-page, (once charming) dull-as-dishwater folio that she brought to me an hour ago. Or being bored to tears of a book I've just rotated back in after the first re-read, having had months away from it.
I've tried reading her some of my books with limited success, but, understandably, she's not as interested in that, so it's not a viable substitute.
I want to keep reading to her, but I don't want to continuously buy new books from the charity shop, and the frequency of my boredom means that I can't rely on the library unless I want to walk there several times a week, which isn't really feasible. I also don't want to put her off by involuntarily groaning whenever she approaches me with a book. Does anyone have any advice? Many thanks in advance!

This feels more like an issue with self settling to sleep than with books themselves. In an ideal world you should be able to read her favourite book twice, say good night and leave her to fall asleep (or sit and pat her or whatever) but you’re using books as a method of getting her to sleep which is always at risk of being hit and miss, because it’s quite stimulating.

God, I really, really miss reading to my kids.
they’re all teenagers now and wouldn’t allow it now but I loved reading to them. There are loads that I can still recite now.

Yes, I was secretly choosy and would quietly just get rid of the really annoying ones Thomas the Tank Engine and Mr Men but I got so much pleasure from their enjoyment of being read to.

The repetition is what they loved. We had plenty to choose from. By the time all 3 had outgrown picture books we had over 750 (I know this because I counted them when I was packing them up to pass on).

Relax and enjoy this phase, it’s wonderful and doesn’t last forever. I read to them until they were around 9-10. We progressed to chapter books at around 6-7 but I suppose the younger ones a little earlier since they wanted to hear what the eldest was having. This was also a wonderful phase.
We started with some Enid Blytons (Faraway Tree etc) and progressed through loads of Michael Morpurgo and of course Harry Potter.

I wish I could go back to the time when we piled on to my bed and had stories before bed (at least 3!).
<Sigh>

We did get a couple of books when she was a baby, thankfully she's outgrown most of them, but 'Woof Woof! Can You Say it, Too?' still makes a regular appearance. There's a draw-along book that's actually quite good, but she doesn't like that one as much.

Gosh, I remember all of those! I refused to read them so my parents thankfully didn't have to engage with all of that. I liked Kipper in my own time, but the magic key was such a bore to listen to in class. What a nostalgia trip!

Ah, is that how it reads? My apologies, then. What I meant is that we had tried in the past to read as many times as she'd ask, and she would still ask over and over, pointing out the things she likes, bouncing around while she reads along, and not settling at all. Doesn't matter if it's the 5th or 50th time in a row, she will cry when we stop reading that book. Doesn't matter if she's absolutely shattered, she just wants to read that book again. So, our options are to stop reading all together, in which we have to console her with songs for a while and she isn't as willing to settle, though she will eventually, or swap to an adult book, where she settles more quickly and gives my DH and I something we actually enjoy doing as opposed to singing 'Twinkle Twinkle'. The bedtime book thing hasn't been an issue for us since using this method, and one day, hopefully, she'll comprehend the adult books enough to start enjoying them on their own merit, but if it's just that she likes the drone of general speech for now, then that works for us!

I've hidden one or two as well, I just couldn't do 'Peter Rabbit's Words' 20x a day for three weeks.
Library limit is eight books, I think, and we take as much advantage as we can, but she much prefers a select few from home, so it doesn't last long and we don't usually end up getting around to all eight.

I'll check out Sandra Boynton, I haven't heard of her before. Thank you!

Actually, what I said was that she will insist I read the same book for hours, and cry when we stop, no matter how many times I've read that book. She doesn't cry for hours, she cries when we stop, even if when that 'stopping' is two hours after bed time when she has giant purple bags under her eyes and is too tired to take the book in. She doesn't like it when we stop reading the book, no exceptions. When we just stopped reading all together, she cried for a few minutes, then just started bouncing to the songs we sang, or tried to get up to play with teddies if complete quiet, then crashed. It took time.

By reading the adult book, we are transitioning down as a compromise. It's not a dead-stop of reading, so she gets a minute to be sad about the change, then she's happy to listen. Takes no time at all. There is nothing wrong with her current bedtime routine. This is a non-issue.

Yes I think you’re getting caught up on the specifics of your family’s book reading habits.

My point is, how do you know she’ll cry if you stop reading a book after 2 hours. How did you even come to that realisation? At one point you were reading books for 2 hours because she cried every time you stopped?

You must see that this is obsessive behaviour and not normal. Most toddlers will have a temper about one thing or another, but keeping parents reading a book over and over for 2 hours is not usual behaviour.

You said she is obsessive about getting you to write the same words over and over again…

Do you see where I’m going with this?

All toddlers love going back to the same books repeatedly, but this is outwith the realms of usual toddler behaviour.

I find this with Busy Busy construction site now, my boy adores it but I just feel like the vocal equivalent of trying to walk through knee deep molasses when I'm yet again listing ditch digger, hippo loader, mouse ditch digger, asphalt oil spreader, crane, the list goes on 😆 my lovely husband has no such qualms, will steadfastly read and reread forever.

What are you suggesting the OP do about this "abnormal" behaviour? Yes, her daughter is possibly autistic, as you oh-so-subtly hint- if she is, there is absolutely nothing that @NoKusuAllowed can do about it, so what exactly is your point?

Oh my god, reading this has just released repressed memories of when my nephew would make me read Thomas the Tank Engine books over and over again.

They became mysteriously shorter on each rereading.

You’re using quote marks around a word I didn’t use. I am also not saying the OP should do anything about it at all, but given she hasn’t mentioned a suspicion of anything yet, I am suggesting that she look at the rest of her daughter’s behaviour.

Needing to read the same book on repeat for two hours straight or becoming inconsolable is not within the normal realms of toddler behaviour. Given she has suggested other obsessive tendencies in her daughter, it’s worth keeping an eye on these.

Not unreasonable, and I’m not telling the OP she has to do anything about it. If she’s autistic, she’s autistic. Worth considering.

All toddlers like to repeat books, imaginary games, certain phrases, return to favourite characters from tv shows etc etc. All normal. Reading a book for two hours straight on repeat and crying every time the parents try to stop… not so much.

Hippos Go Beserk is a masterpiece. The children’s book I wish I’d written. So simple, so clever, so full of pathos!

Wait until you get to the “read it sounding like Hagrid, mum” stage. That’ll brighten things up.

No, the phrases you used were "not normal", "not usual", "obsessive" (twice) and- my personal favourite- "outwith the realms of usual toddler behaviour". And yet again, in this comment: Needing to read the same book on repeat for two hours straight or becoming inconsolable is not within the normal realms of toddler behaviour. I would argue that that level of repetition from an adult is "not normal" and, indeed, "obsessive".

Again, I really don't see what you are trying to achieve. A simple, "Have you considered that your daughter may be autistic?" would have made the point in a far less judgemental and unpleasant way.

Yes… those are the words I used because those are the words I want to use. Weird to quote me on another word I didn’t say, rather than the actual words I used. They are right there on the thread.

I think the OP is getting hung up on overthinking books when the issue is likely not about books. Something else might be going on, but either way it’s still not usual behaviour. If the thread was about a child not wanting to let go of an iPad for 2 hours straight and crying every time it was taken away everyone would say that’s an issue.

Perhaps OP is exaggerating that her child would have her read the same book on repeat for 2 hours straight if she let her. She seemed pretty definite about it though, and that it has her crying and puffy eyed, awake for hours past bedtime if they let her.

OP can think on it or not. That’s up to her.

Any advice?

Yep, suck it up.

Your literary tastes were no doubt equally boring once upon a time.

Something else might be going on, but either way it’s still not usual behaviour.

It doesn't matter whether or not it is usual behaviour! It's the behaviour @NoKusuAllowed's daughter is exhibiting! Telling her it's unusual- in a variety of different ways to really hammer the point home- is going to do fuck all to change the situation.

Edit: Didn't click 'Quote' apologies as I don't know how to edit that! @Spudthespanner

Right, I see what you're trying to express now, I think.

The 2hr example was a one-off experiment to see if she would actually tire of a book and go to sleep without having to make her sad. It also included the wind-down time in which she was still asking to read the book after we'd decided she would not tire. I don't know how long the reading Vs wind-down time lasted, it was a long night. All I know is that my tea was cold and it was past my bedtime, too.
We didn't/don't let it go on that long, and it was a bedtime issue; we don't have the same resistance during the day, save nap time, though that was comparatively short-lived. Now she mostly barters with wanting a specific teddy or telling me she needs the toilet/drink/other when she doesn't want to sleep, and the books help coax her up.

She is generally respectful of the boundaries I've set and will not cry or even be upset if denied a book after the allotted two reads, bedtime nonwithstanding. She will ask for another book (or two other books), and then approach me with the first book a while later, and l often oblige on both counts. Usually after a trade, like 'we can read after you put your blocks away'. This does mean I end up reading the same two books eight or more times a day each, with a few others in there, but it's a lot better than six or more in a row for each like it used to be.

As for the implications of letter writing and the overall allusions to abnormality, I mean, what do you want me to say here? Toddlers have obsessive phases, this might indicate some kind of neurodivergence or otherwise, but it might not. She's too young to have labels put on her for loving something so passionately. Even if this were a symptom of something larger, you've offered no helpful advice on that front. I want to wind back to the original point of this thread; does anyone have advice on ways that I can work with her and encourage her without wanting to bang my head agaist a brick wall in boredom? That's all I'm after, coping skills. If this were obsessive to the point of concern (I don't think it is, given she's happy, sociable, and will kick a ball around, get excited about seeing pigeons, play with bubbles, put blankets on her 'cold' teddies etc. Words aren't 100% of her world, they're just her favourite part right now), then what would your advice be, exactly? There's been very little constructive dialog on this tangent.

I've lost the comment that suggested the library but that it seemed like DD was a [paraphrasing] wonderful girl. Thank you, I certainly think so, but I'm a bit biased 😁

The same book night after night has its uses though… it’s actually really handy when you go on holiday and forget to pack Tabby McTat, but realise that you can actually perform it from memory and no longer need the book, thus averting a crisis AND becoming Magic SuperMummy!

Strange reaction. I haven’t said it would change anything right this second. Given the behaviours outlined by OP, considering it now could well help her daughter in the future. Could be nothing, could be something. The behaviours sound rigid and obsessive to me. You’re clearly very personally wound up by this idea but that’s not my problem.

Yes my advice was in my very first response to your OP and is the same as many others- it’s part of having a child. Basically, tough luck that you’re bored, you have to get on with it and I do think you’re overthinking a perfectly normal part of parenting children.

As I said in my first post- library, rotate books, Yoto cards. Kids love some tediously boring books 🤷🏻‍♀️ that’s life with a kid. They like all sorts of boring shit sometimes.

I am confused by this experiment of seeing how long she’ll want to read the same book for, crying when not allowed to keep reading it even after 2 hours, up hours past bedtime crying and exhausted over books, but at the same time it wasn’t actually 2 hours, she’s very easy going, stops reading after two books no bother, happy and laughing at pigeons and so on. Your posts are a bit of a jumble in this regard but I think the overall message is that your daughter does have an obsessive interest in some things more so than other children. And I say that as someone with a book loving 4 year old who will sit and read books for an hour straight on his own which is also somewhat unusual for his age. But struggling to move on from the same book over and over to the point of exhaustion would have me taking notice of her behaviours and seeing how she is in other aspects of life.

Well, yes, as the mother of a daughter who is demonstrating some similar behaviours to @NoKusuAllowed's child, plus other indicators of autism, I am wound up by someone banging on about how "not normal" a very sweet-sounding toddler is, rather than simply suggesting she may be neurodivergent. I think if you did a straw poll of autistic people (or indeed any other minority), they'd probably prefer you didn't describe them as "not normal."

Yes she does sound sweet. Good to see you’re recognising those indicators. Maybe OP can have a similar think about any indicators in her daughter. Maybe autism, maybe not. Some things she’s mentioned on this thread are not normal behaviours for your typical toddler so worth keeping an eye out as you are.

Well, I'll raise you with my youngest being so in love with certain songs/music that he'd have me lying on the floor by his cotbed singing or reading the lyrics out loud to can't stop by red hot chilli peppers!

just read a few books when you have time then get up & go into kitchen or start another activity, leaving her with the books or onto the next thing. Toddlers get sucked into stuff it's normal

Have you seen book baskets/story baskets that they do at school? Activities surrounding the story? So eg for hungry caterpillar you have pix of the food, little figures of caterpillars or playdough. I think the book rotation is a little harsh! Unless you don't have space. Could you buy a rotating bookshelf or look out for one from Facebook