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Bored of Reading to my Toddler

155 replies

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 10:11

Hi all! My 21-month old is sharp, eloquent, and loves reading. Unfortunately, as she's a toddler, she also loves repetition, and for around a year has been insisting that I read the same books over and over and over, such that it drives me insane. I used to oblige as I wanted to foster her love of language, but even though we rotate our 70+ books regularly, and I've recently implemented a 'read twice' maximum for each book at a time, I still can't help but cringe and be visibly irritated when she brings me the same ten-page, (once charming) dull-as-dishwater folio that she brought to me an hour ago. Or being bored to tears of a book I've just rotated back in after the first re-read, having had months away from it.
I've tried reading her some of my books with limited success, but, understandably, she's not as interested in that, so it's not a viable substitute.
I want to keep reading to her, but I don't want to continuously buy new books from the charity shop, and the frequency of my boredom means that I can't rely on the library unless I want to walk there several times a week, which isn't really feasible. I also don't want to put her off by involuntarily groaning whenever she approaches me with a book. Does anyone have any advice? Many thanks in advance!

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NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:13

FanofLeaves · 24/06/2025 13:41

Though this ritual often takes some tears because she'd rather read 'Belinda Goes for Gold' for the nth time instead

sorry but this is mad. She’s tiny. What are you trying to prove here? Let her have the books she can follow and enjoy. You’re going to bore her to tears with those kind of stories and potentially turn her off reading for pleasure for life, which is presumably not what you’re intending.

It’s not a reading session for you. It’s a vital developmental step, for her. It all reads like some strange boast about how intelligent and intellectual you all are. She has YEARS ahead of her to enjoy learning, for goodness sake don’t foist it all on her when she just wants you to put a silly voice on and read The Cat in the Hat.

Edited

She... She does have books that she follows and enjoys, that's the crux of the post. Every day, first thing when I wake up, I read a book of her choice before breakfast, and that continues throughout the day, every day until her dad and I settle down for bed and read something of our choice. She zones out of the older books and falls asleep, but she has been up for hours past bed time because she wants to read the same book and refuses to sleep even if she's no longer coherent. This is one reason I've had to implement a 'read twice' rule, because she will make me read the same five-page book for over an hour and still not be bored. I used to oblige because it's important, but I have other things to do in a day, aside from the fact that it's immensely frustrating to have that much repitition. She loves her books, that doesn't mean my DH and I aren't allowed to read something we're more interested in later on. She's not exactly starved for books targeted at her! And we read the book of her choice twice, as well as giving her the book so she can read quietly while Dad reads if she really wants. Usually she'll flip through once and put it down to listen to Dad.

Not addressed in the quoted post, but we rotate around ten books at a time, her 5 core favourites and five more - excluding library books - no particular schedule, just if she's not touched one in a while or I need a short break from one. Record was 18 runs of 'It Could Have Been Worse' in one sitting. She still wanted more but I managed to transition her to another favourite. Not doing that again, but it's on the shelf for her and we still read it several times a day, just in two by two chunks.

I absolutely agree that the type of book makes a difference, bouncy rhymes last the longest before they become tired. She quite likes those, thankfully.

OP posts:
Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 14:20

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:13

She... She does have books that she follows and enjoys, that's the crux of the post. Every day, first thing when I wake up, I read a book of her choice before breakfast, and that continues throughout the day, every day until her dad and I settle down for bed and read something of our choice. She zones out of the older books and falls asleep, but she has been up for hours past bed time because she wants to read the same book and refuses to sleep even if she's no longer coherent. This is one reason I've had to implement a 'read twice' rule, because she will make me read the same five-page book for over an hour and still not be bored. I used to oblige because it's important, but I have other things to do in a day, aside from the fact that it's immensely frustrating to have that much repitition. She loves her books, that doesn't mean my DH and I aren't allowed to read something we're more interested in later on. She's not exactly starved for books targeted at her! And we read the book of her choice twice, as well as giving her the book so she can read quietly while Dad reads if she really wants. Usually she'll flip through once and put it down to listen to Dad.

Not addressed in the quoted post, but we rotate around ten books at a time, her 5 core favourites and five more - excluding library books - no particular schedule, just if she's not touched one in a while or I need a short break from one. Record was 18 runs of 'It Could Have Been Worse' in one sitting. She still wanted more but I managed to transition her to another favourite. Not doing that again, but it's on the shelf for her and we still read it several times a day, just in two by two chunks.

I absolutely agree that the type of book makes a difference, bouncy rhymes last the longest before they become tired. She quite likes those, thankfully.

You are devoting a huge amount of brain space to this OP. Maybe just stop thinking about books so much. Read books with your kid and don’t worry about it. All parents grit their teeth through the boredom of books, imaginary play, endless questions, special interests etc.

I would say that letting her stay up well past her bedtime to make you read the same story over and over is not normal toddler behaviour. Put her to bed and tell her story time is finished. Just because it’s books doesn’t make the behaviour acceptable. Bedtime is bedtime.

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:22

NuffSaidSam · 24/06/2025 11:58

Get a Toniebox to share the reading load with.

Let her watch YouTube videos of people reading the books she needs on repeat.

Record yourself reading them (or get friends, Grandparents etc on board) and create a video library for her. Or if you're anti-screen just do audio recordings.

Go to the library (or various different libraries) once a week and bring a stash home.

I've not heard of a Toniebox, but it sounds like it could be really helpful, thank you!

Next I've stashed some of her liked books to the side so I can give them to the grandparents to read over facetime on the occasional call, but we won't be seeing them for a while so we'll have to wait and see how that goes.

She loves the library (interestingly more the people than the books), but it has eased some of the burden when we need 'fresh blood' on short notice.

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BertieBotts · 24/06/2025 14:24

Very normal, sorry! They love repetition at that age and it's something to do with their brain development so they do need the repetition.

We went to the library a lot and that adds some variety because you can't keep the books forever and I just didn't ever suggest renewing a book until they were a bit older, so we always took all the books back and chose new ones. Then I tend to buy copies of books that I enjoy reading and try to avoid getting books that I don't enjoy as much, apart from as library books. Or I'd put them in a different area of the house perhaps where DH was more likely to read if he didn't mind it. I did sometimes hide a particular book if it was really getting to me Blush but you do have to suck up the repetition a bit IMO because it's what is important to them that counts really.

I found you can get to a certain point with some books where you're reading it on autopilot while zoning out menu planning or something.

Chocolateorange22 · 24/06/2025 14:25

@CapaciousHag yes in some ways. She has started asking to read to herself some nights instead of being read to. Other nights I try to encourage to read a page whilst I read another. However a lot of the books she wants read to her are classics and she isn't quite there yet in managing those.

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:25

FanofLeaves · 24/06/2025 11:08

I can read the same books on autopilot, doing all the voices, to my toddler while still using a compartment of my brain to think about what’s for dinner/a film I enjoyed/what jobs I need to apply for 🤣 it’s a real skill. I’m a nanny too so reading a lot of books repetitively is just part of my life.

it is very good for language and development though, the repetition and the cause and effect and expression and vocabulary etc etc so that’s the bigger picture.

Edited

Autopilot isn't a skill I've mastered just yet, I get too into my thoughts and DD will correct me!

You're right, super important to make sacrifices like that, just trying to find a way to set boundaries that are good for both of us. :)

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greencartbluecart · 24/06/2025 14:27

O know sometimes I wanted to scream with the boredom

it’s a short lived phase in the grand scheme of things

I think I can still recite some of the books 25 years later

pat yourself on the back for being such a great mum ( edit - that is straight not sarcastic )

Haroldwilson · 24/06/2025 14:29

NuffSaidSam · 24/06/2025 11:58

Get a Toniebox to share the reading load with.

Let her watch YouTube videos of people reading the books she needs on repeat.

Record yourself reading them (or get friends, Grandparents etc on board) and create a video library for her. Or if you're anti-screen just do audio recordings.

Go to the library (or various different libraries) once a week and bring a stash home.

She wants a parent, not a recording

Haroldwilson · 24/06/2025 14:32

Dd did this, strap up and deal with it. Get more books. Act them out. Draw pics of them. Do a bear hunt in your garden.

You could get book boxes and rotate them.

It's not only about the book. It's closeness to you, your voice and attention.

Our house is packed with books. Drives me slightly crazy but my kids love them and sit and read to themselves.

LornaSaysYes · 24/06/2025 14:35

Definitely don’t get a Toniebox or make her watch YouTube 😭

Regarding LotR etc, you presumably know that this is far too complex for her. Fine if it’s just a fun thing for you and your partner but it’s not an alternative to reading age-appropriate books. I also fear you run the risk that she’ll be bored of these more advanced books before she’s had a chance to appreciate them.

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:37

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 13:52

This is all quite odd OP. It’s lovely that you’re excited about her interest in books. I mean, most kids are but yes, it’s lovely. I don’t know what the nightly ritual of reading adult fiction aloud to each other is about when she’s wanting to read her own books though.

Reading story books to kids is a very normal part of raising a child and you seem to be way overthinking it all. The list of what you have on your bookshelves is quite irrelevant, as is all the explanation of her letter blocks and drawing. You’re obviously very into your books and you are proud of your daughter. As I say, lovely.

Just keep reading to her and grit your teeth through the stories you’re bored off. There’s a hell of a lot more boredom coming your way, trust me.

The nightly ritual is more about family bonding time than her reading, specifically. DH works long hours and it's a quiet thing we can do together as opposed to putting the TV on before bed. She reads so much throughout the day, and gets two iterations of a book of her choice before the more adult book that it's just nice to sit together comfortably.

The list of my books and the alphabet blocks was more in relation to other posters asking what/if I've tried, so I thought it might be helpful to clarify. Her whole world revolves around language at the moment, It's likely a phase that will pass, but it ha only intensified over the past year and so I'm asking for the best ways to accommodate that without getting so frustrated. I like my books well enough, but I've never been a big 'reader', I read more to her than I was ever read to, or that I would ever read myself.

I'm excited about it precisely because I wasn't into books as much as she was, and I want to emphasise that she isn't the problem, my inability to suck it up is, especially if there's a lot more boredom to be had, I'd best master it now. :P

OP posts:
CaptainMyCaptain · 24/06/2025 14:40

Elisheva · 24/06/2025 10:48

They choose they same books for developmental reasons and its really important that you allow them to read the same book over and over again. It helps them to learn all sorts of things about how language functions, predictions, memory, cause and effect, and it also contributes to their security and wellbeing. Once they have got everything they can from a particular book they will drop it and move on to another one.

Agree. Knowing the words of a book off by heart and 'reading' it themselves is a step on the road to reading independently. To do this they have to hear the book many, many times. Encourage them to join in repetitive parts.

NuffSaidSam · 24/06/2025 14:41

Haroldwilson · 24/06/2025 14:29

She wants a parent, not a recording

If she loves stories she'll be happy with a mix of media and it gives the OP a slight reprieve.

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 14:43

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:37

The nightly ritual is more about family bonding time than her reading, specifically. DH works long hours and it's a quiet thing we can do together as opposed to putting the TV on before bed. She reads so much throughout the day, and gets two iterations of a book of her choice before the more adult book that it's just nice to sit together comfortably.

The list of my books and the alphabet blocks was more in relation to other posters asking what/if I've tried, so I thought it might be helpful to clarify. Her whole world revolves around language at the moment, It's likely a phase that will pass, but it ha only intensified over the past year and so I'm asking for the best ways to accommodate that without getting so frustrated. I like my books well enough, but I've never been a big 'reader', I read more to her than I was ever read to, or that I would ever read myself.

I'm excited about it precisely because I wasn't into books as much as she was, and I want to emphasise that she isn't the problem, my inability to suck it up is, especially if there's a lot more boredom to be had, I'd best master it now. :P

You said she’s in tears with this nightly ritual. Just read her a few bedtime stories of her choice and save reading Lord of the Rings aloud to each other for when she’s asleep.

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 14:47

NuffSaidSam · 24/06/2025 14:41

If she loves stories she'll be happy with a mix of media and it gives the OP a slight reprieve.

Agreed. My 4 year old loves books and memorises them all to “read” aloud to himself. We read a looot of books and some of them are boring, quite frankly. He also loves listening to stories on his Yoto player. Win-win.

Reading can involve reading books together, acting out stories, listening to audiobooks, and watching cartoon adaptations of books. My son’s love of hearing me reading Winnie the Pooh to him is not altered by listening to the Yoto card or watching the Disney movie. It’s all good.

ladymalfoy45 · 24/06/2025 14:48

Christopher fucking Nibble.
Every single night for what seemed like a year.
It was only a couple of months but DD now 11 loved that bloody guinea pig.
I miss reading to her and chatting about the pictures and details.

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:50

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 14:43

You said she’s in tears with this nightly ritual. Just read her a few bedtime stories of her choice and save reading Lord of the Rings aloud to each other for when she’s asleep.

Yes, in tears because she wants to read the same book 10+ times and not go to bed. This wouldn't change if we stopped reading LotR, she would just be sat up in tears because we're not reading the book she wants at all. We've tried reading the book of her choice until sleep and she's up for over an hour still wanting to read the book with giant purple bags under her eyes. We switch to the adult book and she settles quickly and drifts off. This has nothing to do with reading age-innapropriate material, and everything to do with the fact that she'd rather read one specific book than go to sleep.

OP posts:
user1476613140 · 24/06/2025 14:53

My youngest is 7yo and like this😂

LornaSaysYes · 24/06/2025 14:55

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:50

Yes, in tears because she wants to read the same book 10+ times and not go to bed. This wouldn't change if we stopped reading LotR, she would just be sat up in tears because we're not reading the book she wants at all. We've tried reading the book of her choice until sleep and she's up for over an hour still wanting to read the book with giant purple bags under her eyes. We switch to the adult book and she settles quickly and drifts off. This has nothing to do with reading age-innapropriate material, and everything to do with the fact that she'd rather read one specific book than go to sleep.

This doesn’t really fit with what you said previously.

It’s all quite strange. Reading with your child is supposed to be about them, their development, fostering a love of books, time together etc…why are you turning it into something so complicated and difficult?

user1476613140 · 24/06/2025 14:56

I just feign excitement for those ten minutes. Not a big deal. Then move on.

Yellowsubmarineunderthesea · 24/06/2025 14:58

I used to be the one yawning when I was reading bedtime stories while my children wanted another one & another one that I'd read a hundred times already. I then decided read 1 story and then I'd tell them stories of what I got up to with my brothers & sisters when we were young. Was so much more fun and they know a lot about you get me now.

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 15:01

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 14:50

Yes, in tears because she wants to read the same book 10+ times and not go to bed. This wouldn't change if we stopped reading LotR, she would just be sat up in tears because we're not reading the book she wants at all. We've tried reading the book of her choice until sleep and she's up for over an hour still wanting to read the book with giant purple bags under her eyes. We switch to the adult book and she settles quickly and drifts off. This has nothing to do with reading age-innapropriate material, and everything to do with the fact that she'd rather read one specific book than go to sleep.

You’d be better just reading her a couple of stories of her choice while having a cuddle, saying goodnight, and leaving her to sleep. If she tantrums and wants to read a book again you say, “we’ve read our books and it’s bedtime now.” How can this process be taking hours and giving her bags under her eyes? You’re making a rod for your own back reading to her until she falls asleep.

Spudthespanner · 24/06/2025 15:02

LornaSaysYes · 24/06/2025 14:55

This doesn’t really fit with what you said previously.

It’s all quite strange. Reading with your child is supposed to be about them, their development, fostering a love of books, time together etc…why are you turning it into something so complicated and difficult?

Can’t wrap my head around it either. So much navel gazing over some books.

Lavender14 · 24/06/2025 15:04

Elisheva · 24/06/2025 10:48

They choose they same books for developmental reasons and its really important that you allow them to read the same book over and over again. It helps them to learn all sorts of things about how language functions, predictions, memory, cause and effect, and it also contributes to their security and wellbeing. Once they have got everything they can from a particular book they will drop it and move on to another one.

I agree with this tbh.

Ds is just a little older than your dc and is also a wee bookworm. He also went through a phase at around that age of wanting the same story back to back so I would have read it to him about 3 times before directing him on to something else because the repetition is developmentally important. However, I would also break it up a little by changing HOW I read the same books. So first time I'll read it with silly voices as it is, second time I'll do the same, third time I'll read it but take our time and really focus on the pictures "can you find an X on this page?" "Does X look happy or sad?" Point out the expressions that tell you they're happy or sad etc... focus on background characters and what they're doing. Focus on discussion around the story instead of just the words. Sometimes I'll get ds's teddies to "read" to him in their voices and be silly with it.

As ds got older, he also found certain things funnier which has been lovely in terms of reading as some books we get from the library now have him in a complete wrinkle which I really enjoy. Sometimes I'll also put audiobooks on for ds using Spotify or we'll go to the storytime sessions at the library and we go weekly to swap books out.

At that age I'd also have done independent reading time and get certain books that are picture heavy or sensory with cardboard pages. Those are out all the time for ds to pick up and 'read' by himself and I'll set up his teddies and get him to read to them. Which sometimes will be him telling them the rough version of a story he's heard enough to memorise from the pictures.

My current set up is, picture heavy and independent books out really accessible for ds all the time rotated every week. Plus a selection of books that are quick and easy to read that are rotated fortnightly, plus then 9 library books that change weekly that are kept for bedtime.

We also look at encyclopedias if there's something interesting him eg. Rocketships at the moment, or we'll look at recipe books to see what we'll make together.

If you're blasting through so many within a week, is it worth looking at other activities that are easy set up to occupy your dc so they aren't leaning on the books just so much? When I get bored I'll distract ds onto something else that's not reading like Lego, or even take him outside with paintbrushes and a cup of water to 'paint' or use chalk etc. Personally I try to just enjoy the fact he's still little enough to want to cuddle in and be read to.

NoKusuAllowed · 24/06/2025 15:06

LornaSaysYes · 24/06/2025 14:55

This doesn’t really fit with what you said previously.

It’s all quite strange. Reading with your child is supposed to be about them, their development, fostering a love of books, time together etc…why are you turning it into something so complicated and difficult?

No? How so? My daughter loves reading, especially specific books that she latches onto, completely normal but very irritating because of the amount of repetition that facilitating this interest requires. I'm talking several hours a day if I don't set boundaries like I have had to recently. This includes bed time, where we will read the book she wants twice, then read a book of our choice, usually adult fiction. She will cry when we won't read her book a 3rd, 4th, 5th etc. time, but a page or two into the adult book, once she knows we definitely won't be reading her book, she settles and happily listens, either drifting off, or picking out words and letters she knows, then drifting off. We have tried leaving the 'adult' books until after she sleeps, but she will not sleep if we just keep reading the book that she wants to, we have to stop reading altogether or switch to an adult book. She prefers her books to sleeping, what toddler doesn't prefer their favourite hobby to sleep? If I'm still not making sense, let me know and I'll happily clarify.

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