When does 2 kids feel easier?

[AMagnaMater]

With my first time started to feel easier around 4 months and even more so at 6, and it jsut got easier and easier as time went on.
With two kids, one nearly 4 now and baby just turned 1, it still feels really hard, I still feel in survival mode.
I had ppd after my first, and not this time round, so I definitely thought it'd be easier. Going from 0 to 1 kids was an absolute shock to my system, but from 1 to 2, I don't think I was as shocked even though it felt like I got no rest. So why am I struggling so much still, I can't even look one day ahead, I'm still living day by day.
It might be because external help fo village is limited, or that my 1 year old is still breastfeeding, won't take a bottle, will only feed to sleep and doesn't stay too long with anyone else.

TlDdr when does survival mode with 2 kids end, or when does life with 2 kids feel easier?

I felt it started getting easier around 4&2 and now at 6&4 I'm loving it. I think it is once you get past the druggery of nappies, sleepless nights, having to get them dressed etc.

I found it helped to focus on the little milestones of 'easier' – like nursery mornings got easier when the little one reached the point where I could put a bowl of porridge in front of her and she could feed herself competently enough that I could do other kitchen prep whilst she ate. Getting out of the house got easier when big one could generally put on her own shoes and coat (bonus points for starting the zip!). Playtime at home got easier when little one stopped trying to eat crayons and play dough. And so on.

I feel this. Got a 2yo and 12 week old so I'm still in the thick of it, been wondering at what age I'll be able to take a breath 😅

I agree with pp, my youngest is 2.5 and just before her was 2 it's easier, they started playing together

I would say 4 and 2 felt loads easier than 1 and 3. 6 and 4 is comparatively a dream - I have found it really does get better!

I would say there is also an element of you being lucky with your first. Not sleeping very well at 1, not quite taking a bottle etc is pretty normal. I only have the one and I definitely didn't feel it's easy after 6 months. Well it got easy, briefly, until he started crawling and teething.

I was going to say 2 and 4 as well. They’re both just that more independent. Before that, you need to embrace the chaos a little.

When you've had a third baby and you go out with only 2 of them.

When they are finally old enough to move out 😂

Mine are 7 and 5. It was rough going when they were both in nappies. I think it was when the younger one could reliably take herself to the toilet that things got easier, which was around 3 I think. You're definitely in the thick of it now, hang in there.

I found it got easier and easier as time went on. I found one ok. (Easy going, good sleeper baby.) 2 incredibly hard. (Highly strung, non sleeping second baby and jealous toddler). You're still at the difficult stage but I did find it got easier as time went on. (My dds are 18 and 20 now)

Ouch, ive got a whole year before it starts to get easier 🙃

That might help, it makes me realise that it's not as hard as it once was. I think I'm jsut disappointed as I honesty thought it'd be way easier than it is at this stage.

I mean if you have a village you'll hopefully be able to breathe a lot earlier. Don't let this thread send you in a spiral, my baby had severe reflux for 6 months and for 4 months was held constantly without breaks, my then toddlers behaviour completely regressed as he wasn't getting time and we had little to no help tbh

Maybe I should just take deep breaths. I've done it for one year, I can do it for another

Can't wait, I feel a fraction of myself

Yh in hindsight my first was really easy, unfortunately I had severe ppd so couldn't see it at the time, and was still coming out of it when he was one.

I suck at embracing the chaos. Something to work on.

Haha I'm not ready to consider a third anytime soon 😅

Lol you might be onto something here

Oh dear... 3! 😬 that seems so far away 😢

We're at 4 and 2 now and its so much easier. I think it has felt a bit easier since youngest DC was past the constantly toppling over phase so I didnt have to be on high alert. Oh and once she moved past eating with her whole body so mealtimes didn't require a full clean up.

Next stage is potty training and then I'll be one of those carefree mothers that can stroll around with just a small pack of wipes... oh the joys!

I hold out hope

I think it completely depends on the children and I wouldn’t suddenly expect things to get better in a year because other challenges occur. Expectation was always my downfall and led to disappointment!
Although things are easier in the sense that you have no nappies, they go to school, they tend to sleep better but not always etc I have found that mine now argue and fight constantly. They are 9 and 5 and I expected things to be easy now, but I find it really difficult managing them. They are incapable of playing together for longer than 5 minutes without one upsetting the other! It’s tiring. Throw in a 3rd child who has just turned 1 and it’s chaos 😂
You are right in the trenches right now and I think lack of sleep and a clingy child can test anyone’s patience. I don’t have any ‘village’ either, it’s just me and my husband and it’s a slog sometimes. But they are fed, clean and loved very much.

I really wish I wasn't wishing time away, ge the to the easier stage already. Yh my lo has been super active since 3 months, I'm always on high alert.