3 year old at wedding

[pizzaforwho]

We have a wedding coming up where DD is a flower girl. She’s generally well behaved, but is very much a child who needs loads of exercise and stimulation in a day. Obviously we’ll bring snacks, quiet toys etc etc but any ideas of novel (and quiet!) things I could give her for during the speeches and meal?
I feel like a wedding is such a long day for a little one, and she’s going to be quite bored by that time and unlikely to want to sit still for hours on end!

I wouldn’t subject her

I’d thank for lovely offer of flower girl
it decline

then I’d arrange childcare for the day

She would have fun, be able to stick to her routine, I could relax. All good

I wouldn’t take a three year old to a wedding. You’ve quite clearly said she’s going to struggle with having to sit still.

I would get a babysitter to pick her up after the flower girl duty.

This. It's lovely for her to be a flower girl but making her cope with the whole day is unreasonable.

I'd be taking her out for a walk for the boring bits like speeches or the gaps between courses if she's restless. I don't see why you couldn't go as long as someone is prepared to take her out now and then.

Both my Dds have been flower girls they did their thing had some dinner and we had somebody pick them up.

If you want to take her, you just need to be prepared to take her out if necessary, and to leave early. If one of you is closer to the wedding couple (like if it’s a family wedding on your side), that person could always stay on while the other parent takes her home/back to hotel.
I’d take a brand new colouring book for the meal, but would be ready to take her out straight away if she’s being loud during speeches.

Will any other children be there?

If you really want her to stay I’d make up a bag of different new things including some wedding themed toys e.g.Playmobil bride and groom , wedding story book, wedding sticker book etc. Maybe a travel Magnadoodle type board.
Often there’s a period of time where the couple go for photos before the meal. If the weather is good build in some runaround time then if you can.
If you have a babysitter she can then go home while you enjoy the evening reception.

Why does she have to sit still? What kind of wedding is it? Most weddings I’ve been to have been very busy and not much opportunity for sitting still. There is usually a ceremony bit but it’s very short and that’s the time for the quiet toys. Before and after that I would expect there to be lots of activities and places to explore? My DC have been on a climber a mountain, been on steam train ride, been paddling, played rounders and croquet, spent the whole afternoon on the adventure playground, taken part in a play with swotdfighting, played poohsticks, and danced until they were sweaty messes at ceilidh or disco, all at weddings. That’s in addition to other small entertainments like playing with the other children, glitter painting, bubbles, a storyteller, Photo Booth, picnic type stuff.

i can’t vision a wedding where I’d be required to sit down all day they are usually really busy and packed active days?

My dd managed being a flower girl no problem just before her 3rd birthday, we spoke about sitting quietly and she had some books and puzzles in a bag for the ceremony. They took the important photos of flowers girls to begin with and then she had food, danced for an hour before my friend came and picked them up to take them home for the night.

i think sometimes as parents we stress about things that don’t need stressing about, if she does make noise during the ceremony then take her out so as to not disrupt things .

Don’t try to keep her quiet, except for the ceremony when she presumably has to be there and quiet. Just take her outside to run around.

We’ve done many weddings with ours when little. I packed like a bento box of snacks because food is unlikely to be suitable or conveniently timed. Otherwise, you take it in turns going outside so she can run around. Whoever is closest to the couple or in the wedding party stays inside more. There will likely be lots of friends and family who are bored to tears by speeches who would also gladly take her out to play too.

Have plans in place to call it a night when she gets too tired.

My DD was a flower girl at just under 3 years.

I was just prepared to take her out of the room if needed (it was DH sister wedding so I got the default take her out). DH sister was really relaxed and didnt mind her wandering around - they also had a similar aged child.

I’m surprised at the ‘I wouldn’t take her’ type responses. We’ve been to weddings with ours and one of us just took them out for a little walk during the speeches.

This, ours went to 2 weddings between 2.5 and 3. We did take a stroller/buggy for when he got tired. Left early for hotel/home.

Just take her out as soon as she looks like she is going to get disruptive. People have been taking kids to weddings forever. Noone will mind as long as you don't keep her in the room during the service or speeches distracting people

Between 2 and 3 my daughter went to 2 weddings and 3 funerals.

Bring food, more food and some more food! One wedding we thought was perfectly timed at the wedding meal was due to started at 4, her dinner time. Only there was an issue in the kitchen and we didn't get our meal until half 6!

Quiet activities for the ceremony and speeches

SIt near an exit to remove them from the wedding /speeches should you need to.

I’d just plan for whoever is the least close to the B&G to take her out to run around outside during the speeches.

Headphones and an iPad for speeches.

Buggy / pram for after dinner when she gets super tired and a blanket. Sensible to take her for a walk so she nods off. Useful to find a quieter corner to park the pram but where you can still keep an eye. At some weddings if there are lots of small guests a room can be arranged to park them all up and parents can rotate through or the couple will have a sitter on hand who can phone a parent.

At least one of you needs to get to bed at a sensible hour because she will be up at her usual time.

If none of that appeals, take her home after the wedding and pics and leave her with a sitter.

Yes it’s a long day but perfectly doable.

Have a babysitter at the hotel to take her away as soon as her bit is done , she walks down the aisle ( do lots of practice). Has the photos taken then granny takes her away , you can hire a local babysitter if you are travelling to wedding , you get to enjoy the rest of the do
if this is not possible sit with her at the back of the ceremony and take her out asap any noise , I would not even be in the room during speeches

I once attended a wedding and a toddler ran around screeching during the speeches totally ruining them while the mum looked on adoringly

sweets but not chocolate !

I'd have her picked up later on. My daughter was flower girl at my brother's wedding and it made it such a tough day/night and I missed the whole day running after her

I’ve just had my own wedding where my mum had to leave with my 2 year old before food was even served because he just wasn’t having it. He refused to sit for the actual ceremony so me and my husband both had to hold him at some point during it, he just wanted to run around barefoot and touch plugs, decor etc. Someone smashed a glass and he refused to put his shoes back on so it was game over. We were so stressed and behind in getting photos taken ( no one was really up for helping with him apart from my mum) that my mum stepped in and took him home.
Weddings aren’t really for children, not toddlers anyway imo.

They’ve asked her to be flower girl so they’re not expecting a child free wedding.
my son was a page boy when he was about 5 (15 years ago) and the bride and groom’s favourite photo is the group photo where he refused to join in and is sitting on the stone steps to one side with his head in his hands! They’ve still got the picture on their wall, my 20 year old loves it - not! 😂🤦‍♀️

I would put a little bag together of new things she hasn’t seen before like sticker books, colouring, new pencils/crayons, finger puppets, puzzles, fidget toys, cars were always a winner for my son, but if she’s not into that then maybe a new doll, some books - maybe with lift up flaps and is interactive, Lego if she’s into it, maybe some ink stamps and an ink pad - but could be messy.
As a last resort a phone or iPad with headphones so she can watch her favourite show or play a ticket friendly game.

Thank you everyone. I don’t think they expect her to sit nicely for the whole day, but definitely
for the meal time. We plan on taking her out for a huge runaround after the ceremony and before the meal, and her grandma is picking her up early evening (and can also be on hand throughout the day if we ask her to). I’d also take her out straight away if she was making a noise or running around inappropriately.

I think my main concern is they don’t have kids themselves yet, and there won’t be many kids there, so any overtired, non compliant, behaviour might been seen as ‘naughty’. She’s not naughty, but she is 3…😂

Oh and also just to add, we said to the couple very early on that we had zero expectations of DD coming along and we’d totally understand if it was an invite for DH and I only. If I’m entirely honest, my preference would be to leave her with grandparents but the couple actively want her there and to be a part of their day.

This is why we didn’t have our three year old at our wedding.