Is this normal? 3 year old repetitive play

[Backforawhile]

Looking for some advice as I have no idea what is normal and what isn’t as I have never spent much time around small children! My DD is the only child on both sides of our family and most of our close friends are child-free too so I don’t have anyone to compare her to.

My DD (just turned 3) is obsessed with doctors and vets. This has been going on for about 8 months now! If we go to the library she seeks out books where the character is ill, her favourite episodes of TV shows are ones like Miffy falling off her bike or Pedro Pony being in the hospital or Norrie having chicken pox. Her favourite game is pretending to look after her cuddly toys, she has a “vet bag” and a little vet station with beds. She is also fascinated by people being ill or hurting themselves in real life - wanting to know when they will get better and if they need a plaster or Calpol (!) etc.

What worries me is that her play seems so repetitive. The “illnesses” the toys have are always the same, and usually something she’s seen in a book or on TV. The dialogue seems quite scripted as well if that makes sense. Also when she asks anyone, adult or child, to play with her it’s always “can we play doctors” or “can we play vets”. She does show imagination in other ways, but will say “pretend” when she’s doing it - e.g she’ll talk to a teddy and say “you can have pretend tea while I’m having real tea”. I just don’t know whether this play (and this fascination with doctors/nurses/vets) is normal or if I should be concerned. Nursery haven’t raised anything alarming and I’ve not mentioned it either - but they have also said she loves dressing up as a doctor and pretending to be one…

I was diagnosed with cancer when she was a couple of months old and was in/out of hospitals for about 2 years - but she only came with me a couple of times when I literally had no alternative (and this was before she started nursery so she was tiny!) we don’t talk about it in front of her and I had hoped that she wouldn’t remember any of it as I tried to hide it all from her as best I could - but is it possible she does?!

I am NT but my younger sister is autistic, and I suspect my dad is as well. DH is dyslexic, and there is a strong history of that in his family but not anything else as far as he is aware. My sister has always really struggled with life and friendships and I guess I have worries in the back of my mind that DD might be ND and end up struggling in the same way; which is probably why this is bothering me. I could well be overthinking. I’m good at that!

Sureoy she is more than playing alongside if she is playing vets woth other kids.
I would say 3 is quite old for playing alongside?

It may not so much be about the pretend play so much as a 'special interest' so somwthing she is talking about and returning the topic to even if others arent interested in it?

I wouod say you would notice pda as the oretend play wouodnt be a main sign as much as avoiding whatever you want them to so eg tooth brushing, homework etc

I would also say many kids already have buddies etc at preschool or toddler grouos by 3.

@Freddl6 this is another thing that concerns me - that she should have “friends” by this point and doesn’t seem to. Is this because she is obsessed with playing the same game or is it something else? I don’t know because I’m not there ☹️ I know she wants friends…

She isn’t particularly defiant around doing things we want her to do like brushing teeth etc - sometimes she’ll play up like I assume all 3 year olds do but on balance I’d say she’s pretty obedient when it comes to basic instructions like brushing teeth, holding hands by the road etc.

For two years solid, my daughter played “baby cats” in nursery!!!

Not all demand avoidance behaviour is oppositional. There is a small groupbof PDA kids who basically just keep their heads down. We didn't realise our daughter was avoidant. She actually was controlling things though without us realising, only it was very subtle. For example if I held my hand out for her cup she would put it on the table instead. At school she did zero work but she was so nice and friendly, no one noticed for ages. At her guitar lesson she would chat, go to the toilet, ask for juice....