Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

OK so I hate the SAHM v WOHM debate as much as anyone, but last night I was absolutely SAVAGED by an SAHM for my choice to work

56 replies

limecrush · 21/05/2008 09:20

I am still smarting.

She was drunk and ranting; she hardly knows me and no doubt it is all about her own issues; but I'm still smarting hard.

I am a lecturer, travel to work. Also had severe PND; there's a lot of issues. She knows about few of them.

It started with 'why are you seeking status' (erm as a lecturer not likely to get much of that).
'you have had two beautiful children, that is the greatest achievement you will ever have, and you are not there' strange that cos I seem to see an awful lot of my children really including at 4 am every morning this week and then 6 am and then from 5 every night while dh is still at work. But clearly, I am not there.

Then 'it's only five years, that wouldn't affect your career that much would it'

I then told her that I had been suicidal after ds1 was born and that work had helped to save me from that and that perhaps some women need to work? She just looked at me with that 'oh you're insane' look people do when you talk about depression.

I started to feel either like crying or slapping her and had to walk out of the bar in front of my other friends who probably now think I'm an overemotional nutter.

Oh, the 'debate' is definitely alive and well...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Ripeberry · 21/05/2008 14:28

I'm a SAHM and would never dream of having a go at someone who was F/T.
Although, i'm at home, i keep myself busy with little cleaning jobs (brass polishing) and gardening for the elderly, on top of my household chores.
If you have a job that you enjoy and are good at then NO ONE shoult deny you that.
All trough my childhood my Mum had Agrophobia and manic depression and spent all her time at home, never did anything and just used me and my brother to get her drink and cigarettes (this was before they put limits on ages).
Can you imagine a 8 yr old going to the shops and getting 40 ciggs and bottles of wine, well that's what i had to do (this was in europe by the way).
But she was never happy and we used to live in fear of her outbursts of anger, if she had a good day, i had a good day..simple as that.
People must do what is best for THEIR familly.
Anyone, who expresses an oppinion is secretly jealous. SAHMs because they think they "should have a career" and F/T working mothers because they want to spend more time with their familly.
Why, oh why do we women beat ourselves up so much?

StarlightMcKenzie · 21/05/2008 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

crokky · 21/05/2008 15:47

Everyone's lives are different and we all try to do what's best for our families. Perhaps she is in a bad place herself if she is attacking others.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

pagwatch · 21/05/2008 15:56

can I just say
you weren't really attacked by a SAHM about your choices. You were attacked by an opinionated arse who clearly is uncomfortable with her own life or would not feel the need to attack others.
As a SAHM I have been attacked by others, as a WOHM I was attacked by others. 'Tis the people and their opinions that are the issue - not how they spend the day

hunkermunker · 21/05/2008 16:07

I WOH. I love some aspects of it, hate others. Can't see a way out of doing it atm though.

This woman was rude, spiteful and clearly has her own issues. Please try not to take it to heart.

YerMaw · 21/05/2008 16:19

If she enjoys sitting on a night out, when everyone's supposed to be enjoying themselves, upsetting someone to the point where they get up and leave then she's clearly a nasty piece of work. Ignore and avoid.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page