Am I missing something

[TT250]

So me and my partner have been together 4 years.
we have a 11 month old and there’s teenagers of mine at home too.
he doesn’t live with me he rents a room with friends of his for £150 a month. That’s all of his outgoings.
I however have a full time low paid job and provide for me and the kids rent food etc … we’ve had soooooo many arguments about money he’s constantly chasing his tail borrowing money off me … he smokes 🌱.
he always pays the money back but it’s just annoying that he can’t “budget” in that he doesn’t contribute anything to me… occasionally he will pay for electric, a local little top up shop but other than that nothing I pay for it all… I’m so frustrated.

I keep trying to make this relationship work.

we argued about money 2 days ago … he said every 3 days I explode …
he was suppose to be paying out money and it was gonna leave him with a tiny bit left over I’ve asked him not to ask me for money and he made out like It’s bad if I don’t help him out and just “let him have a little bit of money” like how is it my fault …

am I going mad???

All it takes is for someone to report you being in a relationship but not claiming as a couple for you to potentially end up in prison.

it’s the woman they chase.

he needs to pay up CMS.

if you are a couple he needs to quit his drug addiction, move in and support his family.

sounds like he just uses you.

Please explain why OP could end up in prison. She doesn't say that she is claiming any benefits, she says that she works full time. Even if she is claiming benefits, he doesn't live with her and is making no financial contribution to his child or OP's household. On the contrary, he is taking money from her.

She should officially end the relationship and apply for child maintenance.

My sister left her husband over 10 years ago with her 3 yo. Every single day since their life has been better that when they were a family.
He ex did step up as a far after 6 months of ignoring the situation and it turns out he's a much better father when not part of the family unit. It's a long story but by breaking up the family my niece has gotten two parents.
My mum split up the first husband when my sister was 4 and their life was better afterwards too. He drank the family money and whilst they were on the poverty line after the break up of the marriage at least my mum had control of the finances. She met my dad a few years later. He's has been my sister's "dad" for nearly 40 years her biological father has seen her about 4 times between the she's of 5 and 44.

A secure family unit is better than a dysfunctional co-parenting relationship. A secure co parenting relationship is better than a dysfunctional family unit. Secure solo parenting is better than dysfunctional family Unit or co-parenting. The driving force between good outcomes from a relationship is not the family setup but the dynamic of the set up. This current set up isn't working, it's never an easy decision but don't stay because being part of a family is better for children. Having secure relationships with their care givers is the key component and that can happen in all variants of family life.

Next time he asks for money I'd tell him what that money would have been used for. Spell out that he is asking you to make decisions about his smoking versus feeding and clothing your joint child.