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Original poster

Does anyone else have a 4 year old that cries at EVERYTHING!

62 replies

sunshinedaises · 14/05/2025 14:23

My ds is 4 and just cries at everything, over the smallest, silliest things. For example if he wants his hat that he can't reach he won't just ask for it, he will whinge and cry to get it. I've tried repeatedly telling him he doesn't need to cry he just needs to ask. It's honestly exhausting and I don't know how to handle it anymore. Anyone else have a child like this and any tips? When did it get better?

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llizzie · 19/05/2025 22:35

Yourethebeerthief · 19/05/2025 17:59

The fact that you don’t see how mental your suggestion is is fascinating to me

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When did you get to be a psychologist?

Not everyone agrees on everything. When people persist in being annoying they show themselves up to others.

llizzie · 19/05/2025 22:37

Yourethebeerthief · 19/05/2025 17:59

The fact that you don’t see how mental your suggestion is is fascinating to me

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Have you actually tried it? Do you even know what an onion is, or do you only buy them in packets from the frozen food department?

Perhaps all your meals are ready made?

llizzie · 19/05/2025 22:39

Lijay1 · 16/05/2025 13:43

I'm sorry I read this post looking for advice because I have a similar 3 year old but I cannot wait to see my husband's face when my 3 year old next whines or cries and I whack out an onion and start peeling it 😂

So many mums - or perhaps not mums - on here have so little experience of real food.

Some are really lacking in common sense and civility. Anything they don't understand cannot possibly be right.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

4 year olds Behaviour & development Families
Yourethebeerthief · 19/05/2025 22:46

llizzie · 19/05/2025 22:37

Have you actually tried it? Do you even know what an onion is, or do you only buy them in packets from the frozen food department?

Perhaps all your meals are ready made?

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😂

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 20/05/2025 09:00

JJMama · 15/05/2025 17:54

Give him a big cuddle every time he does this. Let him feel loved and safe and secure and enveloped in your arms. He’ll probably cry harder for a bit but will then calm down. Once he’s calm, reach over “here’s the hat”. All done.

Try it a few times and see if it works.

I much prefer this to the ignore your crying child and let him cry it out advice.

There's nothing wrong with cuddling your crying child whilst still maintaining no to the hat.

llizzie · 20/05/2025 15:33

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 20/05/2025 09:00

I much prefer this to the ignore your crying child and let him cry it out advice.

There's nothing wrong with cuddling your crying child whilst still maintaining no to the hat.

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Depends why the child is crying.

If he is demanding something, a cuddle is commendable, along with an explanation that he cannot have what he wants.

How many times has your child screamed and thrown a tantrum in a shop because you won't buy him something he has seen and wants?

If you give in to him/her, chances are you make a rod for your own back. Just a cuddle is frustrating. It is an opportunity for you to explain that you cannot have everything you want.

This particular child has gotten into the habit of demanding instant gratification and I dread to think what sort of a husband he will make!

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 20/05/2025 16:54

llizzie · 20/05/2025 15:33

Depends why the child is crying.

If he is demanding something, a cuddle is commendable, along with an explanation that he cannot have what he wants.

How many times has your child screamed and thrown a tantrum in a shop because you won't buy him something he has seen and wants?

If you give in to him/her, chances are you make a rod for your own back. Just a cuddle is frustrating. It is an opportunity for you to explain that you cannot have everything you want.

This particular child has gotten into the habit of demanding instant gratification and I dread to think what sort of a husband he will make!

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Yes I guess it would depend on the why.
I'm a massively affectionate person and LOVE to hug.

That doesn't mean that there still can't be boundaries. I can switch off so if mine are going on and on about something I'll say that Im not going to keep on repeating myself and my answer isn't going to change so they may as well do themselves a favour and stop going on. But I can give them a hug if they want one.

A 4 year old probably won't entertain so many words though.

jannier · 20/05/2025 19:38

JJMama · 15/05/2025 18:39

Hilarious that people are getting wound up over my previous post!

Lots of people seemingly expect children of 4 to be able to reason and stop crying with a click of the fingers! Crying is an emotion - this is a diff scenario to the child repeatedly kicking a plane seat, for example.

If the OP doesn’t want to try my way then fine. But it’s worked for many, many parents and children. It does not create whiny needy or spoilt people. Absolutely ridiculous.

I disagree there are loads of parents that are still asking little Robert what he needs and cuddling them at the school gates. It's manipulation by then they know what works. Children know where they are with boundaries it makes them secure.

llizzie · 21/05/2025 11:29

jannier · 20/05/2025 19:38

I disagree there are loads of parents that are still asking little Robert what he needs and cuddling them at the school gates. It's manipulation by then they know what works. Children know where they are with boundaries it makes them secure.

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When one of mine was 4 he went to the kindergarten part of the prep school. I used to meet him with a bottle. I tried to hide it from other parents. Then one time I saw the doctor's wife doing the same, so then I didn't care.

jannier · 21/05/2025 11:58

llizzie · 21/05/2025 11:29

When one of mine was 4 he went to the kindergarten part of the prep school. I used to meet him with a bottle. I tried to hide it from other parents. Then one time I saw the doctor's wife doing the same, so then I didn't care.

Edited
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Having a GP friend who says he's not trained in child development and doesn't know much about it I'm not surprised. It's widely known bottles are not good for speech or muscle/teeth devopment in this case it's just a dummy.

jannier · 21/05/2025 19:16

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 20/05/2025 09:00

I much prefer this to the ignore your crying child and let him cry it out advice.

There's nothing wrong with cuddling your crying child whilst still maintaining no to the hat.

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I do wonder how they cope at school where teachers can't cuddle every child who wants something they can't have. Most 4 year olds are starting reception with 2 staff to 30

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 23/05/2025 13:00

jannier · 21/05/2025 19:16

I do wonder how they cope at school where teachers can't cuddle every child who wants something they can't have. Most 4 year olds are starting reception with 2 staff to 30

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I'd find it so difficult to not hug a child I have to admit

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