How do I learn the "I Mean It" voice and associated 'look'?

[tigana]

Please!?

I feel bloody angry and determined but dfor some reason my voice and face seem to give off "ignore me" vibes or even "laugh at me" ones.

Not just DS. Our sodding dogs don't listen to me either (although as far as I am aware they don't actually laugh at me).

How can i get more authoritay ?

I go very quiet.
And I have a look that conveys the message, "you think you are Mr SmartyPants now, but we will be having THE TALK in the car on the way home, young man".

Maybe try getting down to their level and making sure they're looking you in the face, at least until they understand when you really mean it?

I think HC has it. You need to start with the silence. I think you need to have a face on like you are concentrating on something very hard (like trying to mentally levitate them). Slight cats bum mouth is good to.

re voice, not too shouty or girly, embrace your inner man (but not comedy brian blessed voice either).

I think saying just one word louder than the others is good to

ie

Start with SILENCE (maybe a bit of hands on hips going on)

"Just WHAT do you think you are doing?"

add in levitation look plus cats bum mouth

very powerful

Oh god. I clicked on this because I too have zero authoritay. But the more advice I read, the more I can see myself trying it and just cracking up laughing. Oh dear.

Hmmmm apart from the levitating bit, that is my usual approach....'tis quite comic apparently. Will try the levitating bit though.

DH can do it just by sort of growling ds's name......also works on the dogs btw.

My cat would laugh at me if she had a sense of humour. Instead she gives me the worst teenage scowl/deadeye/withering stare imaginable.

"add in levitation look plus cats bum mouth"

quote of the week

photos helpful!

snowleapard, you should practice. Go on, tell me off

I am currently winding myself up inside your new lovely curtains, I have jammy hands.

If I do cats bum mouth....my dogs may kiss me rather than obey me....

from her shes my hero

Narrowing your eyes helps, too. Gives that fierce look. Or raised eyebrows. And inclining your head as if you're peering over a pair of half moon glasses (possibly not all three at the same time).

oh yes Custy - she is great

starting quietly is good

i also find starting to count to 3 is working well (have only got to 1 so far)

shouting deffo doesn't work but a low, firm voice does

slight cats bum mouth. Not so excessive that it goes all white round the outside and you look like a dessicating corpse from indiana jones. It's really hard to articulate properly with a full on CBM too.

Just mild tightenings.

Well I can't use your name TD or that will set me right off.

I would probably shriek with genuine alarm "aaaaaarrrggggh DS not jam on the curtains!" and he would laugh his head off. (Though to be fair he would then stop and say sorry but not for a moment be scared of me.)

I just can't do it. Deep, deep down I don't see why anyone should do what I tell them. I had no respect for authority as a child so it's kind of fair dos I suppose.

OH yes -I still do 'Do I have to count to 3?' with DS, who's 4, and we rarely get beyond 2. Tbh, I'm not entirely sure what will happen if I get to 3...

me neither Jackie!

Oh frequently reach 3. And have to then work out what happens if no result after 3. Is usually me physically extracting ds from now-jammy curtains and plonking him on sifa. At which point he larfs, climbs down from sofa and wraps self in curtains some more. [defeated]

Teacher training helps

I too am rubbish at this.

If I am getting too laughed at and find I'm teetering towards a giggle myself, a stern "Mummy is NOT laughing" helps to centre me.

Things to avoid:
Pleading - oh, no, please don't do that again, I have told you 100 times....
Being a Victim: It makes Mummy's head ache when you do that...
Apologising - I know, I know, you want to sit in the puddle in your clothes, but sadly we can't do that...
Not Believing It Yourself - saying one thing while thinking 'oh blimey, did I really say that and are they really going to listen?'

Lower your tone of voice - use the resonators in your chest (experiment) not your nose and throat, tuck your chin in slightly. And remain very still while you speak - no gesticulating - unless it is a still finger held out that says 'do not move or speak until i have finished speaking'.

snowleapord, I wouldn't want me DC to be really scared of me, that would be awful. When I have my full on look and voice they are absolutely thinking "uh-oh" though.

Tatterdemalion,
that description is hilarious.

Jackie - I did that counting thing. I just used to start: ONE! TWO!...we never got to 3 and i didn't know what I would do if we did, either!

i pretend to cry so that i can hide the fact i am laughing, Broccolli

I say you "you are making mummy very sad" whilst my head is on my knees, my shoulders are shaking and i am emitting various snorts