How do I learn the "I Mean It" voice and associated 'look'?

[tigana]

Please!?

I feel bloody angry and determined but dfor some reason my voice and face seem to give off "ignore me" vibes or even "laugh at me" ones.

Not just DS. Our sodding dogs don't listen to me either (although as far as I am aware they don't actually laugh at me).

How can i get more authoritay ?

Lois from malcome in the middle

once hid their shoes and told them the had to sign them i and out again

she's a fucking genuis

tatterdemalion your post made me laugh like mad..

My stern voices always seems to lapse into comedy brian blessed voice? I find it very hard to be stern when I'm trying not to laugh out loud.

Oh yes Custardo, she has an excellent look.

I find it only works if the misdemeanor is something I really care about. If so then my tone and body language have the necessary gravitas automatically and the children generally get the message pretty fast.

If not then I can't even take myself seriously

I do soooo much of this already.
I do deep voice, occassionally I even get those resonators going, Blu.
No gesticulating, just forefinger raised in manner of schoolteacher.
I use simple commands/demands and don't try to reason/debate/blackmail.
I am stony of face with mild cat bum mouth and frowny eyes.
"No, DS. Put the cat down. NOW."

Cue giggles or ds hitting me.
So then it turns into "NO, DS. NO hitting."

He is 3 in August.

Lois is a hero.

That's true for me too castille. If I'm genuinely worked up or scared - eg if DS is about to break something precious or run into the road - I think he can tell I'm really serious. It's the other stuff - jam in the curtains, tormenting cat etc etc ad nauseam. I just can't switch the "I mean it" voice on at will.

I give talks in schools sometimes and I've noticed that some teachers really do have it big-time and some really don't. I almost wonder if it's innate.

"I mean it".

For it to work you have to be saying something that you actually do mean, and your kids have to KNOW you mean it. So if you say that when you get to three you'll chuck their power rangers in the bin you have to be prepared to do it (so if you're not, you should use a milder threat that you're comfortable about following through). If they see you doing it once because they didn't do as they were told they'll know what "I mean it" means next time. But if you say "I mean it" then back down it has no power and they'll just ignore you.

You don't really need a strong or convincing tone of voice as long as you've proved you're a woman of your word. I often say it in a barely audible whisper but ds knows I never make a threat that I won't carry through. I just tell him "Make a choice" and then it's his decision rather than mine and he only has himself to blame for the consequences.