does anyone else find the toddling years REALLY hard?

[ruby7]

i had PND when my little one was born, and i thought that was hard, but now he's 3.5 it's absolutely exhausting! i'm totally guilt-ridden about not playing with him enough etc, but he is so demanding, wanting attention all the time, wanting to play imaginary games, such an energetic and happy little soul, and all i want to do is lie on the sofa and stare at the ceiling. i'm so knackered and such a bad mum. shouldn't i be loving this?! and everyone keeps saying it's time for another one!?

much prefer this to baby years - I have 3.5 yo twins and man they are easier when they can play alone without mummy waving a random toy at them and cooing and ahhing constantly. If I could give birth to 3yo's I'd have millions more (I also had pnd early on)

Deep breath....aaannnd chill!! The guilt ridden angst is all part of being a parent! It is very hard work - toddlers are full on! My DS is nearly two and after a day at home with him, I too wish to lie on the sofa and stare at the ceiling!

He he, me too! It is so exhausting and I am always feeling guilty that I am not playing/entertaining him enough! Phew, lets relax a bit....and stare at the ceiling!

I also find my nearly 2 yr old absolutely exhausting and at times playing can be tedious, even though I adore him. if lo is over 3, does he go to nursery at all? I am counting the months...

Hi Ruby. I have 3 DC and have found it really difficult with all of them once they reach three. They just seem to become more demanding and less compliant. I suppose it's the stage of development where they are becoming more independent, but also still need you alot. I have just put the television on for DD for a bit of peace.

I try to play with her in short bursts and that seems to satisfy her. For example we will read for about 20 minutes and then she will let me get on with other things while she potters.

I try to get out every day and do an activity like swimming. She loves it and I find it quite easy.

She goes to playgroup where I leave her, 3 mornings a week. Could you find something similar for your DS?

Mine are 2 and 3 and they're a right pair of little bleeders!
They are fantastic really, but sometimes it is very hard and you just want to screeeeeaaaaammmmmmm!!!!!

you need this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1375/533177

Ruby - do you ever get a break from your ds? Does he go to nursery at all?

It is incredibly hard to be with a small child all the time, and you do need time to yourself.

Do you think you may still have a bit of depression?

ruby7, i feel that way atm. feel v guilty and mostly sad really, that it turns out im not the patient, loving, playful, resourceful, chilled out mum i thought id be... mine are 4, 3 and 2 now and i adore them, but tbh (and i feeel AWFUL for wishing time away) i cant help feeling it might be a bit easier when theyre bigger. i f'ing hope so anyway!!
i have pnd now tho, so i put a lot of this down to that.

pleas don't feel guilty about not playing with him enough - toddlers can be very demanding and it will do him no harm, and a lot of good actually, to learn to entertain himself

you are allowed to rest - use the tv or a drawing activity or lego bricks

do not get pulled into it because you feel you have to entertain him, you're his mother you're doing fine

children thrive on learning to entertain themselves - it is not a bad thing

Two of mine were terribly demanding at 3.5. dd3 reached a peak at that point. But now she's just 4 she's a different character - a lot lot easier.

It definintely got a lot easier for us once they moved out of those toddler years. I am loving the 4-8 year old years (my 3 are all in that age group now), it's far less exhausting. but they are still sweet and affectionate and.

Mine are 3 and 2 and what I find the worst is the fighting. DD1 has just bit DD2 on the arm (again). Even if they have 2 of something they fight over it.

DD1 is at nursery 5 mornings a week and it is SOOOOO much easier with just DD2. DD2 is about to start nursery 3 mornings a week as well as I'm pregnant and have SPD so just don't have the energy right now.

{waves at nappies how you doing love}?

Mine are 3 and 2 and what I find the worst is the fighting. DD1 has just bit DD2 on the arm (again). Even if they have 2 of something they fight over it.

DD1 is at nursery 5 mornings a week and it is SOOOOO much easier with just DD2. DD2 is about to start nursery 3 mornings a week as well as I'm pregnant and have SPD so just don't have the energy right now.

{waves at nappies how you doing love}?

i agree with guitar here; thats why i had more than one and close together; they play with each other. buggered if i can play with toddlers all day! (tho it makes me sad that i hate that, that i cant be arsed to do crafty wholesome activities etc.) [beats self with big stick]

hi kitty
better than you by the sounds of it ! dont envy you the spd agin, not in a million.
ds3 had his taster day at nursery the other day and LOVED it. hes dying to get in there.
i cant stand the bickering either. and theres certain screetches that drive me INSANE instantly and make me have violent thought - have to walk away! i say a lot of " normal voice! i am not listening to you unless you can use a normal voice and WORDS. and if you make that sound again, i will take that toy and burn it!!"
not that i lose my temper or anything [psychomum]

Nappies - mine don't screech but they wail after fighting. We have a shelf in the kitchen and if they fight over a toy it goes up there, DP can instantly see what kind of day I have had if theres no room on the shelf. Why am I having another again?

I can't be arsed doing the arts and crafts/baking thing with them either, the thing is you get it all set up they play for about 5 minutes then walk away and you think "whats the point?"

im sure it'll be your last kitty! 3 is certainly enough for me!!
lol at your top shelf. theres piles of stuff crammed onto every high surface in the house from doing the same thing LOL.

and YES. all that prep, they dont even do it right (cooking that is) then wander off and leave you with an unholy mess to clean up while the watch telly and occasionally beat each other up - skip straight to the telly imo!
nah, its not always like that... but there are days.

im really lucky - we have a huge garden and they spend a lot of time out there.

Don't feel that you have to entertain them the whole day! Mine are 21 mths and 3 and they get taken to an activity at least once a day (DD goes to nursery too). As far as I'm concerned, when we're at home, they can entertain themselves (while I go on Mumsnet)

nappies - even with a huge garden they still fight over the toys, we have 4 prams out there and they still argue and scream. Then theres the tantrums.

yes, i really should have had another one by now, so they could be at least starting to do things together. nothing like having to pretend to be wendy in a fireman's hat when you just want to weep in the corner!

i definitely have depression again - absolutely gutted about that and just another thing to beat myself up about!

my poor son. what a bum deal he's got!

he's at nursery 3 days a week while i'm at work - it just means i never get any time off really.

Don't beat yourself up about it, it's very hard work being a working mum and looking after a small child. It's not your fault and you're not a bad mum because of it!

Is there any possibility that you could have a regular break, time to yourself every week?

Sorry I don't know anything about depression - but there are plenty of mumsnetters who do.

Clara, I just read that thread. Scary!

oh and having two small children doesn't nescessarily meant that they will keep each other occupied - my kids fight over everything!