Toddler bedtime vomitting - what do I do?

[sunshinedaisies00]

Im at the end of my patience with this, my DS is 2 years old.
6 months ago DS decided he will no longer sleep in his cot alone, excessive screaming. Vomiting repeatedly.

After lots of trying to settle DS in the cot and also staying in the room with DS. DS wont give in, repeatedly vomiting. Iv tried leaving for 1 minute at a time and coming back, iv tried all sorts , including laying on the floor of his room!

I have also tried giving the milk at bedtime earlier downstairs, to avoid it being brought up. He still manages to vomit up food. He does it very quickly after me leaving the room.

Every single night Im now laying with him in my bed and transferring him into his cot. He also wakes up every night and i bring him back to my bed.

He previously before this issue slept through the night. He seems to have lost the ability to settle himself.

so many friends tell me their DC, can sit talking to themself in the evenings or mornings. Mine just screams whenever he is in it.

Has anyone overcome a situation like this? Do i remove bedtime milk entirely and just keep leaving the room even if he keeps vomiting?

You can’t leave him alone if he’s vomiting, he could choke. I’d honestly let him go to sleep in my bed then move him once he’s sleeping into his cot but understand not everyone would!

How on earth could you leave the room if your TWO year old is being sick? That poor poor very young child

you make out lying on the floor is a big deal, Plenty of us have done that. Please don't leave the room if you know your child is going to vomit.

Would moving him to a bed work? If he hates the cot, mine went into a bed at 2yo.
Otherwise I’d keep doing what you’re doing, settle with him and move to his bed.
Has he been checked by a Dr for the recurrent vomiting?

@alcoholnightmare how dare you right such a comment. What an awful person you are to come
on here and assume i’m doing something to harm my child. This not acceptable.

Iam not leaving my child to vomit on his own, where did i say i was leaving him to do this?

how can you be so insulting when I’m simply asking for advice on how to get my DS to sleep in his own bed? this is completely normal!!!!

gosh I regret asking for any advice

Firstly whilst it’s great for your friends that their children self settle yours doesn’t and many others don’t! In the long term it’s worth taking the better route for you and you child. Enjoy the cuddles, yes it’s a pain you can’t get on with your evening but settling them and not dealing with the vomit will probably be quicker long term anyway.

@Timetochangenowthis is why i opted for laying down with him and transferring. But i feel like should I be trying again to get him to settle on his own as he is getting older.
the vomiting makes it very difficult because as soon as that happens , he knows Il be coming back in if he is sick!

This sounds like a nightmare.

I would stay in the room with him but until he falls asleep. Sit on the chair and read a book ( to yourself to occupy you), don't chat or cuddle other than when you put him down. If he cries go back in sit down. My son was very clingy I had to do this. My son knew i was near but not sleeping next to him. You will have to persevere with it until he knows mummy is there but not sleeping there.

Also could try nightlight.

Getting a big boy bed and making it exciting

Doing it in shifts with the father if possible, to give you a break

I would stop the bedtime milk too and if he is upset comfort him even though it's frustrating as the more secure he feels the more success you are likely to have

Xxx

i would get a toddler bed and lay on the floor next to him until he falls asleep.

@Artrunnerthank you for your comment and being understanding! I will try your suggestions.
I was not sure if they still need the milk for their dairy intake at this age still or not? but i could give him a cup of milk in the afternoon instead.

I mean, in @alcoholnightmaredefence you literally said “shall I just keep leaving the room even if he’s vomiting” At the end of your post so it did sound like that…

in terms of the problem I am so sympathetic! We had this with our youngest. We swapped to a single bed and whichever parent was doing bedtime lay down next to her until she was asleep. It wasn’t that big a deal and she was asleep by 7:45/8 so still got an evening. I would take a book or my phone and quietly chatter away telling her all the fun things we were doing tomorrow and occasionally reminded that I ‘loved’ snuggling with her but would sleep in my own big mummy bed right next door keeping her safe.

after a while we got past the vomiting I slowly eased out (very slowly)

once a week I needed to nip out for a wee, then a glass of water, then oops it’s a poop I might be gone longer…
everytime I’d go back really quick to build reassurance. Then I’d say oh I just need to feed dog and pop laundry away. She started falling asleep without me there. I would still go in, stroke her head and say “I’m still checking on you just like I promised”

Now she’s 3.5 and goes to bed great. Sometimes I stay, most times I don’t.

@nelllyok Perhaps Iv confused people but I literally mean id go in and handle the vomit situation, settle again and try to leave him again. He is coughing up milk , I feel like he knows when he does this mummy comes back to me and gets me out of my bed. I think i could try your suggestions once his a bit older and can communicate better and has more understanding, currently his speech is quite early on.

My son did this too at bedtime.

We just accepted we couldn't sleep train or leave him to cry as he would just be sick so we changed his bed to a single bed and we would just lay with him until he went to sleep.

He's 5 now and no longer does it and happily has a story and goes to bed by himself.

It will pass but we just went with it at the time.

You said he’s 2… how close to 2.5 or 3 is he? I’d definitely ditch the milk. And I’d make a big thing about moving to a toddler bed, letting him choose a duvet etc. But then he can’t do the screaming or he’ll go back in his baby cot.

I leave my children to fall asleep alone but most of my friends stay in the room with them. Start by lying next to him. Then sit by the door and gradually retreat.

You have my sympathies as my child can't be left alone on an evening either due to distress. In the end I got a double floor bed and just go to sleep with him then sneak out once he's asleep. He usually needs me through the night so I'll then just sleep with him. It's not ideal but better than all other options I tried and I really wish I'd done this sooner and not wasted time/money on toddler beds etc that realistically he was never going to use on his own.

Change up his bedroom; get him a bed now he’s 2. I’d give him responsibility of staying in bed- you can reward him for staying in his bed. I would make his bed an epic experience for him: some sort of den, fairy lights, a basket attached to bed with torch, light projector, stories he can only read whilst he’s sat in his bed, an audiobook machine… I’d make it somewhere is desperate to be and I’d not let him have the bed basket until he is in bed and calm. I’d keep routine the same and hype up the positivity about this new amazing den bed!

Then move him in and explain this is his new bed den. Start off straight away by allowing him to earn rewards (marbles in cup? Sticker chart?) for staying in bed alone for ten or 15 mins. Gradually increase this time. Be strict but kind. If he’s vomiting you can’t leave him be- I’d go in and lay on floor for some time until he’s calm if he has a huge meltdown. I wonder if the stress is that he’s trapped in cot. Give him the responsibility of staying in bed to get reward. That way the onus is on him! And he’s old enough imo.

best of luck to you @sunshinedaisies00 xxxx

I'd say he's now in her habit so you need a firm reset.

You probably need to stay with him until he falls asleep thats just the reality.

No need for milk at bedtime past 1. Get him a double/single if you’re pushed for space and lie next to him. you don’t need to do it forever!

btw I have no issue wuth sleep training! The sick just means it’s not going to work.

Op you're implying your toddler is vomiting deliberately to be manipulative to make you come back. Toddlers can't vomit deliberately. He's vomiting because he's crying too much and is very distressed - seeing as he doesn't vomit when you stay with him.

You need to comfort him and stay with him till he's deeply asleep. I'd co-sleep to be honest.

Ours did the same and I’m sure it was deliberate! But switching to the single bed helped. It stopped the vomiting and at least I was comfy lol reduced my laundry load so I don’t mind laying there a bit

Erm yes they can vomit deliberately, and it’s pretty common.

My toddler used to make herself sick during tantrums. It originally started after a bout of illness where she was genuinely vomiting, and the illness had gone on for a few weeks.

She realised sick made us panic and so would make herself retch when she was angry or didn’t want to do something, sometimes until she was actually sick. Health visitor advised us to give her a firm ‘no’ when she started and luckily that worked because I don’t know what we could have tried if it didn’t! GP aware too and they also said it wasn’t unusual.

Her big brother also made himself sick on 2 occasions I can think of during tantrums - during one he just stuck his hand down his throat. Glad that didn’t turn into a habit.

What do we think is best, single or double bed? Would a double be better for us to lay with him? Btw he is 2 years 3 months

@OldGothsFadeToGreyyes i do feel like its deliberate too in my ds case, people may think hes been crying for ages to be sick! But he is not! He manages to do it in less than a minute!

Why can’t he just sleep with you if that’s what he wants? He’s only 2 it won’t be forever.

Dd did this. We stayed and cuddled her till she fell asleep. She would end up in our bed later on.