Toddler bedtime vomitting - what do I do?

[sunshinedaisies00]

Im at the end of my patience with this, my DS is 2 years old.
6 months ago DS decided he will no longer sleep in his cot alone, excessive screaming. Vomiting repeatedly.

After lots of trying to settle DS in the cot and also staying in the room with DS. DS wont give in, repeatedly vomiting. Iv tried leaving for 1 minute at a time and coming back, iv tried all sorts , including laying on the floor of his room!

I have also tried giving the milk at bedtime earlier downstairs, to avoid it being brought up. He still manages to vomit up food. He does it very quickly after me leaving the room.

Every single night Im now laying with him in my bed and transferring him into his cot. He also wakes up every night and i bring him back to my bed.

He previously before this issue slept through the night. He seems to have lost the ability to settle himself.

so many friends tell me their DC, can sit talking to themself in the evenings or mornings. Mine just screams whenever he is in it.

Has anyone overcome a situation like this? Do i remove bedtime milk entirely and just keep leaving the room even if he keeps vomiting?

@GaldownunderI don't think its unreasonable for me to want him to sleep in his own bed tbh!

You can want all you like - I get it - but parenting isn’t about winning a war it’s about meeting your children where they are at and managing that in a kind and age appropriate context. Give him a break and try again in a few months?

I’m sorry OP, that sounds really tough. Particularly as she used to sleep through and without issue. We went through similar bedtime drama at the same age, but without the vomit.

I would probably reset the bedtime situation. A new big bed, let him pick a duvet cover etc. Perhaps a new room layout if you can move things about. Add something special that just comes on at bedtime: some glow in the dark stars, or a radio, or a light projector, or a storybook player.

Then, an a lovely bedtime in his new bed, lots of time with you, and finally he can get the special bedtime thing as you leave. The situation might feel different enough to break the cycle.

Does he have a monitor? Our DD would use it to chat to us at this age, so she knew we were still there.

I promise she sleeps now and it was just (a totally annoying) phase.

Trip to the Dr? He might be uncomfortable and experiencing acid reflux or something? My son turned out to be lactose intolerant. I'd been breastfeeding him so all ok, then switched to cows milk. Your DS might be frightened of being sick, and so getting himself worked up, but the root cause could be something physical. Hope you get things sorted out, it sounds really upsetting and frustrating for you all.

They need it up two years old but you can give it earlier in the day as you suggested.

It will also help you have a very fixed routine. Bathtime, cuddles story, sleep in cot ( sit with mummy). As time goes reduce the amount of time you sit there. I would wait till he was drowsy/ just nodding off and whisper goodnight night and quietly leave. Give it 5 or 10 mins outside the door and if you hear him getting very worked up go back into soothe and sit back down but don't pick up. Good luck! Xx

I would get a small double thsts low to the floor if it can fit.

Your back will thank you!

I would have him sleep in your bed, or have the cot mattress on the floor in your room to see if being that close is enough. Very common for kids who previously settled to get scared at night when their brains develop more. One of mine settled fine with me out of the room until 2.5, then was suddenly absolutely terrified of the dark. As pp said, you aren't unreasonable to want him to sleep in his own bed, but that's not the situation you are in, so just deal with what you have. Also, people often lie about how well their kids sleep, so don't be surprised if your friends kids aren't as angelic as they are made out to be!

I would go with a single bed some sort of cabin theme or a toddler bed that’s really fun. Something very much that he will enjoy! Tbh I’d probably take him to ikea and let him choose one!

I’d be reluctant to start sleeping in the bed with him because you’re accepting this is the way forward then.. it sounds like you’ve already tried very hard and I would continue trying! You might find you crack it in a few months time and you’ll think thank god! Otherwise you’re setting yourself up to co sleep for who knows how long and if you’re not keen don’t do it. I think sleep is important enough to keep trying! Lots of luck x

My daughter is 4 and we still sit with her to get her to sleep. I know quite a few other mums in this situation.
She never slept in the cot, she was in our bed until 2 when we converted the cot to a bed. She settled so much better in the bed.
Sleep has been and up and down journey as she has severe silent reflux and when her medication isn't optimal she goes back to sleeping like a newborn in our arms.
When she's struggling we get into bed with her then when she is doing better we move back to sitting next to the bed. We find once there's no longer a need for the extra comfort her sleep is negatively impacted by the extra comfort. So it's a balancing act for us.
It might be worth a chat with the GP in case reflux is a contributing factor.

If he gets so upset that he vomits because you leave him alone in his room, just don’t leave him alone. Certainly I sat with both of mine at that age and brought them to co-sleep as needed. They learned to self settle fine and sleep great now. You really don’t need to stress him or yourself to the point of vomiting. He will have negative associations with bedtime and it’s just going to make things harder long term. Make bedtime nice and he will sleep better.