Consequence at home for school detention?

[FlippityFloppityFlump]

My DS is in year 7 and has today had a detention for disruptive behaviour in a lesson. It's his first one at high school.

I'm wondering whether other parents give a consequence at home when there has been detention at school? If it was for uniform or something i probably wouldn't but because it is disrupting a lesson (they get chance choice and then consequence) it obviously continued.

Would you give consequence in these circumstances? Would it being the first time make a difference to you.

I want him to know we support the school and his behaviour isn't acceptable but don't know whether double consequence is right way to go this time. Or a whether to support the school by talking to him.

If it makes any difference, I pre-empt he may not take responsibility and it will tell me it's someone else's fault 🙄

Im interested in this response im a youth worker by profession for over 20 years and now my own 14 year old has received 3 detentions in the space of 1 month back in school .for disrupting the class distracting others, ruining a child's project cos he thought it would be funny ,etc he has been at receiving end of dv and we are now 3 years out he has alot of support weekly counselling, all my years of youth work no good when it comes to my own .

I would but that’s because detention = no bus = 30 minute round trip in the car for me. Essentially punishment is they owe me that time and will be set an amount of woodstacking/ weeding / fill up those 3 potholes on the drive type work.

Eldest was prewarned of this and is in 4th year has never had a detention to be fair. I will trade work for lifts so they know I mean it. Middle dc just started so we will see.

No. Why would I do that when school have dealt with it?

my child also has adhd. So there is no point me also doling out punishment for something like you describe. Instead we talk about the silliness that resulted in the detention and how he could have dealt with the situation differently .

and. We have also trialled adhd meds. Which have made a massive difference during the school day. As they curb impulsivity which is probably the root cause of the mischief which results in detentions.

all behaviour is communication. Worth watching and listening. And talking. Often the stories behind the detentions are really interesting. But you have to be able to listen and not judge. Coaching your teen/tween to see different ways of behaving. And uncovering what has deregulated them earlier in the day - someone was rude to them? They missed the bus and had to run to avoid being late. They didn’t eat enough at lunchtime. Stubbed their toe. Only one to get caught. Etc.

I would agree with Augustus 40. Detentions seem to get dished out like sweets. Why would you punish a child twice for the one wrong doing? I would have a chat with the child about the jncident but definitely wouldn’t punish

We never dished out a double punishment. We did sit down and talk about it though.

One condition of receiving pocket money that week is to receive no detentions (among other things obviously!!)