6-8 year old parenting club birthday partys, homework and extracurricular decisions

[2in2022twoyearson]

Hi,
Anyone want to join me navigating this age of parenting? Children could be outside this age bracket.

There's lots of baby toddler advice groups and some teen groups but this age I feel a bit in the dark.

I have a soon to be 7 year old girl. She's amazing, loves school, but I often feel like I'm doing or saying the wrong thing to and with her. She's going through a stroppy stage, finds school tiring.

Me and her dad work a lot and we haven't signed her up to many extra curriculum clubs, some of her peers have done loads since reception.

We're planning her birthday party and she has lots of opinions about it, I'm feeling the pressure!

@SkeletonBatsflyatnight hope you're journey went ok in the end. My DD doesn't have strong opinions about much. She did ask to go to the event but not very much.

Well, it's done now. She was happy enough yesterday evening. She just quietly said I wish I'd gone to it. It was the colour run and at the end of the day I found out she was the only child in her class not doing It. She watched a film with others in other classes not doing It. I don't know the parents well so didn't ask around. It will be on next year. I feel so bad, in definitely signing her up and not letting dad spoil the fun next year. She knows it was dad who didn't want her to go, and she's not been openly angry with him, but she'll remember. It's a paid for event so I really didn't expect her to be the only one in her class not going.

But she's mostly looking forward to the summer holidays now, we're seeing family and visiting a small town in Yorkshire.

It's a paid for event so I really didn't expect her to be the only one in her class not going.

I do actually disagree with paid for events during school hours. Our school does a colour run but it's held on a Sunday and doesn't have a fee, instead it's sponsored so not a fixed amount which I think works well. Its very popular though. My kids love it.

We are in the way to Devon to catch up with friends so back in the car now unfortunately.

This was also part of my husband's issue with it, that it was paid during school time. He was surprised the school trip they asked us to pay for. I think they'd have waved it if a parent said to the school they were struggling financially though. DH works in a special needs school and they don't charge parents for trips, it does get a lot more funding than other schools it seems.

Paying for school trips makes sense (so long as the fee can be waived in special circumstances) but a paid for event during the normal school day isn't on, that feels very unfair.

Good luck with the car journey @SkeletonBatsflyatnight I hate car journeys these days as DS's car sickness has come back and I've run out of the travel sickness pills I got last time we were in the UK (can't get them over the counter here). Hot cars are even worse for it, and the air conditioning in my car isn't very good.

Good morning!
How is everyone? We are finally in the summer holidays! We're going to a BBQ today, dds friends will be there and off on holiday on Tuesday. DD got a brilliant end of year report. I'm feeling like she's growing up too fast, but still enjoys playing toys with her 2 year old brother.

Well done to your DD for her good report! Hope you all enjoy the BBQ. The summer holidays are almost over here, only a week and a half left, feels like they've flown by. DS has 4 more days at nursery then a few days at home but I'm still working so DD is going to spend those days helping him get ready for school, doing some reading, writing, and maths practice with him - will also help get her back in school mode! Going to take off the last day of the holidays and the first two days of term so I can walk DS to school those days but we need to start practicing the route because after that he will be walking by himself, like all the other 1st graders. The town council has helpfully put up reminders on facebook this week, telling parents to make sure their 1st graders practice the route to school before they start walking it alone. Luckily I've been so busy at work, doing lots of extra hours, that I have enough TOIL to take several days off.

I got DS a cookbook (The Usborne Cookbook For Boys) and he cooked his first dinner for us all - jambalaya, and it was very delicious. I think I might buy the ingredients so he can cook it again today. We also might go watch the annual town festival football match today, which is between the festival organisers team and the care home residents team, but it is very hot here so I'm not sure if I want to sit out in the blazing sun - we were out for ages yesterday in it, and I was outside almost all day at work on Friday, and its just so hot and exhausting.

That most recent post was meant for the flylady thread. Oops, sorry, I can't seem to edit it....my DD has the Osborne cookbook for kids. It's good but Some of the recipes are quite difficult, like making pasta from scratch. DD did make an omelette, with my supervision. We should get her doing more cooking.

It's cooled down a bit here for the moment. I don't like the heat.

This cookbook seems to be not too difficult (perhaps lower standards for boys!)

I can't wait until it cools down here, its been two straight weeks of intense heat. My workplace, even with air conditioning, gets to 28 degrees by midday because there's just so many massive windows (I closed as many curtains as I can but I can't close the upper ones because I'm not a giant). At least at home we have air conditioning in the lounge which is lovely, but upstairs is horribly hot - I open the bedroom windows in the evening and leave them open all night which helps a little but not much, DS's room is 28 degrees all the time.

It's called start to cook. It's got a whole range from basic to complex. But it's good with lots of pictures.

I shall have to look it up - might be useful for my bloke too

In the book I'm reading 'rise of the girl'. Kind of like a parenting book for 7+ year olds. There's a chapter on girls finding their spark. It suggests an activity of having her write a list of what she wants to do in life, like goal setting. My daughter was exited to do this and ran off to write a list. I did laugh. The tie hair up is a bit contencious because DH redoes her hair himself if it's messy but I let her tie her own hair up for school. Partly because I'm terrible at tieing her hair myself and partly because because I want her to be more independent. When I said she could do it, she said but daddy always redoes it. Most of the book is relevant to boys too.

Ah fab list she's made!

Its almost back to school time here, they start back on Wednesday. I got DS's timetable in the school app and it's so different to when my DD was in 1st grade, she didn't have timetabled lessons but DS has got a proper timetable and some lessons are taught by different teachers. Very full on for 1st grade. But the good thing is that he starts at 8 every morning so I'm going to go to work an hour later than usual for the first few weeks so I can leave for work at the same time that he leaves for school, so he doesn't have to be alone and I can be sure he leaves on time. His class is split in two and the other half starts at 10 some days (and finishes two hours later) so that the teacher can teach a smaller group rather than the whole class at once. Very good idea, gives them a better education, but really sucks if you're working parents and your child is in the late start group.

When I told him his English lesson is the last lesson on a Friday he got excited, thinking that meant he can leave early because surely he doesn't need to learn English - he was disappointed to find out he still has to go to that lesson!

Good luck to your son. It does seem crazy how independent first grades are in your country - is it Finland? But it does sound like a positive thing, just worlds away from here. I see what you mean about the 10 start. Walking to school is one thing, but leaving an empty house is more difficult i imagine as I struggle to leave at the right time as an adult! I had older siblings I went to school with as a teenager so maybe I just never learnt that skill young enough. Also, I'm dyslexic, considering whether i may also have ADHD and do feel like sometimes my DD is keeping me on task at times. Haha.

DD did proper lessons last year like geography, history, re, seemed crazy to me, but she loved it. And for phonics/English (her group completed the Phonics program and moved on during the academic year) they split the year group of 2 30ish students classes in to 4 streamed groups of 15 with either a teacher or ta and my DD got the other class teacher.

Good to split into smaller groups for some things, especially when the class is at different levels. Handicrafts class is one of the ones that is split as its much easier to teach woodwork and textiles to 8 or 9 children than to 17 at once.

Yeah I'm in Finland, they do become much more independent here earlier. DS's friend was round yesterday who is a year older, and he biked over to ours by himself, biked home for his lunch and then back to ours. I let them both walk to the shop together too.

I think DS will struggle learning to leave on time independently, he struggles a lot with being organised. He doesn't even remember to get dressed in the morning - he's been going to nursery this summer in his pyjamas half the time and his dad doesn't even notice when he drops him off! I'm going to practice the walk to school with him this weekend, practicing remembering to check he's dressed, take his backpack, make sure the door is locked etc.

How's everyone doing.
@Natsku is your son enjoying school and coping with the independence. We're on the last day of our holiday and DD has had a great time with family. I'm going to work on arranging some playdates for the end of August.

He walked by himself for the first time yesterday and it went well, arrived on time and sent me a message on his watch phone to let me know. Then wanted to go round a friend's house after afterschool club, then when I picked him up they all wanted to come to ours, so a busy day! School is going well, he's had homework already but its all very easy for him so far.

Glad your DD has had a lovely time with family. Definitely arrange some playdates, its so nice for them to play in the summer when they can be outside all the time.

We're gearing up for the return to school. Just over a week to go. Mixed feelings tbh, it seems to have gone so fast.

This will be the first year that dd gets to come home alone. She's very excited about getting to walk with friends. It's only 3 mins down the steps as the school is at the top of the cliff and we're basically at the bottom. Plus it doesn't involve any roads.

Very exciting for your dd!

The summer holidays always seem to go too fast to me.

Took DS to see one of his favourite bands today, a heavy metal band aimed at children called Hevisaurus. I love them! I think I was more into it than the kids were (my brother and his girlfriend and her kids were with us too) and now DS has gone for his first sleepover, at their house. I've been expecting to get a call to pick him up but so far so good. He called me 3 times, firstly to ask me to bring the tablet for him to play on, which I said no to, then to ask me to bring books on tornadoes and I told him to find something to read there, then he called to say goodnight. Perhaps next year he'll be able to go to a summer camp if he can handle this sleepover, and if I schedule a few more for more practice.

@Natsku the band sounds really fun. Has your ds recovered from the sleepover? I've made contact with a mum on my road who has 2 boys, youngest is in DDS class. He's a friend of a friend of dds and when I saw them at a birthday party DD was chatting to the oldest. Either way, would be a convenient friendship.

Very convenient to have friends on the same road, definitely set up playdates with them! On our road we've got twins and a another girl all one year older than DS so he plays with them sometimes.

DS enjoyed his sleepover but I think my brother got exhausted from DS talking about tornadoes non stop

Throughout the years I have my radar on, seeing signs of autism in my DD. My DH has always dismissed them, and he works in a special needs school. But our youngest is nearly 3 and yesterday I mentioned again how he can't jump (nothing to do with autism).

But my DH said of course he can jump, he's been jumping for over a year. But he runs hops and skips, when he tries to jump he never does two feet together jump and land. At the 2.5 year check I mentioned it to childminder and she agreed he didn't jump, but is otherwise phisclaly confident and coordinated. So I'm thinking if DH is refusing to see something as obvious as not jumping, he could be refusing to see autistic traits. I think he comes down too hard on her emotional outbursts, thinks they are manipulative sometimes when I don't. I also think I might be autistic.

I've heard that autism in girls can become more obvious as a preteen so in the next few years. I think at the next parent evening I'll see what her teacher thinks. She does very well at school. Things that make me think she's autistic: very academic, loves Lego, can sit and read for hours, will finish a good book and immediately reread it a number of times. She picked up soduku easily age 4 and we did a few together, she is quite naive, is noise sensitive particularly hand dryers and does an annoying fake laugh, interrupts adults speaking, is very happy playing with toddler toys, as a toddler lined toys up, arranged toys and got upset if they were moved. Doesn't get social cues in the same way her 2 year old brother does. We've also started to go to church near us where she is often the only child. It runs special needs groups during the week, and she loves all the sensory toys there and is bouncing about, and has had emotional outbursts towards a lovely lady at church. Anyway, I might be reading too much into it, but I'm a bit nervous about her starting a new school year. Allthough she's thrived so far, I'm expecting some difficulties. I'm fully aware it could be my anxiety speaking as I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder before.

Hello @2in2022twoyearson I have enjoyed following your thread, thank you. I have a 7yr old DD who I have similar concerns about, she sounds so much like your DD. Her younger brother is just so much more relaxed and natural socially whereas I can see her working hard to figure out how to be around people. They both love sensory stuff, I think a lot of children do! And things that some might think are too “young” for them - but in some ways I think we expect them to grow up too quickly now. I have decided all I can do for now is try to take the time to know her very well, see what skills like listening we can work on together, and also to focus on her strengths and give her opportunities for fun. I hope the playdates go well!