Do you check your kids phones?

[DoYaKnowTheFiveLamps]

Buying my soon to be 12 year old one for her birthday.

I always reserved the right to do so. And carried this out on a number of occasions with my oldest. Rightly so 🙈 My younger one is wholly trustworthy and wise beyond his years so I never had to.

But it’s perfectly acceptable in the interests of their safety and welfare

Yes, until 16. Never read it excessively, just scanning the convos etc

Yes

Yep absolutely for my nearly 12 yr old. I have a quick scroll through messages, WhatsApp, website history etc just to check for any signs of bullying (either way), friendship troubles, dodgy websites etc and ask him about anything questionable.

Well it’s not their phone, it’s yours if you’ve bought it and pay for it every month 🤷‍♀️
If you’re talking about a smartphone, save yourself an entirely new intense layer of parenting admin by just buying them a brick phone instead - the Nokia ones with snake game- it’s all they need, especially at 12yo, calls and text only, no social media shite to disturb their mental health and still maturing brains.

I do daily when it's charging overnight.
We also have a no phone in bedroom rule.

Yes and he also has a 30 minute daily limit. Only has whatsapp to keep in contact with school friends. YouTube and tiktock are blocked.

The school also do random searches of phones to check for bullying etc.

I don't allow whatsapp or any other social apps.

What do you mean the school do random searches of phones? What school staff have the time- and quite frankly, the right- to go through pupils phones?!

Thought that myself, sounds barbaric

As a safeguarding lead in a primary school, I urge everyone to check their children’s phones. Around 80% of the time when we are following up on some bullying, inappropriate image sharing or other online issues, the parent doesn’t check the child’s phone. So many kids use Snapchat and their parents don’t have a clue about how it works.

Also, I’d be very surprised if school do random spot checks but I do look at phones in response to situations which have caused issues at school. Sometimes this involves children who weren’t the initiators but were in the group chat.

Yes we do, but no daily. Sporadically and/or if we think there is a reason to. Both DC know we can check their phones whenever but we will also try to balance privacy as they get older. I'd be mortified if my mum read/overheard some of my teenage musings.

Snapchat is a different ball game though as most of it deletes as soon as it's been read so it's impossible to check it fully.

I do check. Many parents don't. It shocking what I find on there from other kids.

11yo, yes, 15 &17, no, obviously.

You'd be mad not to check. Also, have firm boundaries in place such as time limits, off at 8pm ( or whatever suits) no phone in bedroom. Might be worth drawing up a ' contract' your child can sign.

At that age, definitely. Scanning messages to keep an eye out for potential issues but also to check and advise on handling communication effectively and respectfully. Not inadvertently being rude, explaining different perspectives on messages, that kind of thing. Snapchat wasn’t allowed for quite a while because of the quick delete thing. No phone in bedroom after a specific time. It phased out naturally over time.

Knowing the password, requiring permission to download apps and parental controls were all part of the conditions of having a phone. Age limits set on WiFi at home. It was very much drummed in that a phone was a privilege and it could be removed at any time. Nowadays I’d set a screen limit too, but that wasn’t easily available then.

Definitely at 12 and limit the time, the apps and the contacts. Don’t allow SnapChat or TikTok. Control it so you approve contacts. Put time limits for apps, and also downtime limits on the phone.

Honestly the biggest risks my daughter ever had were around phone use and my son isn’t allowed one as he wouldn’t cope.

It’s not “barbaric” in the slightest. Do you understand what the word means?

Would you go through an employee’s phone?

We are talking about a school aged child, not an employee. It’s still not barbaric.

Yes up to 15.

Yes, absolutely go through it. And have strong parental controls set that we control from one of our phones. And no social media or YouTube allowed.

I wouldn’t be happy with school checking her phone though as there could be private conversations between her and others, including Dh and I that I wouldn’t want some random at school to be privy to. If there was an issue though, like an accusation of bullying, that would be different and I would sit down with a staff member from school and go through it with them.

I believe Giffgaff block adult content by default. Once over 18 photo id can be used to unblock it.

Yep son in y8 I scan thru WhatsApp and web history most days. You can see on WhatsApp the kids without parents who check. Some of them are so inappropriate with language, insults, etc on the group WhatsApp’s.