Do you check your kids phones?

[DoYaKnowTheFiveLamps]

Buying my soon to be 12 year old one for her birthday.

Agree. I’m constantly shocked at the parents who don’t check. So many TikToks posted by boys in y9 who I know talking about pussy and bitches and things. Mad.

Yes regularly, he’s almost 12 and I can’t see myself stopping checking it any time soon. I check his texts, WhatsApp’s, calls, photos, internet search history everything.

Yes, even though there is little he can do on it, he just has the stars app really and our phone numbers, no whatsapp, safari etc.

Hell yes I check, and I’d have no issues with school checking either.

Of course! And at random times of the day so stuff can’t be deleted before bed if he just thinks I will check it then,

I do check and collect phones in every night. The shocking thing for me is other kids being on their phones throughout the night.

Wow, this really shouldn’t be such an issue for a primary school safeguarding lead, should it? Who is allowing their primary school age children on social media?!?!

It has become the norm that many KS2 children have mobiles. Yes, it really shouldn’t be something taking up so much of my time at school. This wouldn’t happen if all parents were checking phones and not allowing their young children on social media. From a recent parent survey (and comparing this to our pupil survey), it is clear that parents generally do not have a good grasp of what their children are being exposed to online. As a pp said, lots of children do not have boundaries about leaving phones downstairs at bedtime etc. Lots of the issues I deal with seem to happen
late into the evening.

Can I ask what the issue is with tiktok?
The age rating is 13, but 13-16yrs olds have restricted access and you can use family pairing to pair it to your own account to monitor it. Set it to private etc.

@TartanMammy I don’t like TikTok and shorts because of the quick fire dopamine hit. It’s not so much the age appropriateness of content, but the style of quick buzz after buzz after buzz - it’s not good for brain development or even adult mental health. Google ‘excessive dopamine release’ for more.

@CalypsoCuthbertsonI entirely agree. It’s getting used to the very short videos that affects their attention span.

DD (y6) is only allowed her phone when she asks and it lives by the front door (which we also try to do with ours but it’s hard when we need them to control heating, use school apps, log in to work websites with two-factor authentication etc etc). Only has WhatsApp, calls and texts, and photos - no other social media, no internet browser, and we check it regularly. She can’t add contacts or apps without our approval (we get a notification). Not allowed it upstairs.

Yes you definitely should, children need protecting. You need to monitor what they do, see, and who they talk to. Having studied criminology, it's very important to be doing this, there many sick people in the world. And having a cell phone does open up a gateway if not guarded.
You need to monitor for if they being bullied, many a child had unalived themselves from online.
I would also put safety in place, so they cannot access everything, limit what they allowed that's age approrate and safe.
Having a cell phone is a great thing, for thir safety just as a parent monitor it.

Yes. It was a condition of him getting insta, WA, Snapchat etc.

And bloody glad I did. About a year ago discovered some very dodgy messages from an adult he'd recently met. Police involved and he was convicted of sexual contact with a child. Had been going on for years and with many other kids.

I had to alert the other parents involved, as they hadn't been checking their kids phones.

But it was subtle, and some kids wouldn't pick up the clues until it's too late.

A company bought mobile phone on the company contract, yes. Our policy states that computers and mobile phones belong to us and we have the right to check them at any time. Employees are within their rights to have a separate, personal mobile phone.

We have never had cause to check mobile phones, although we do regularly check what numbers are called if the bill is excessive and goes above our generous allowance.

Emails can be accessed by senior managers.

Yes 100%

This is a situation where you need to not be scared to be seen as the strict parent and adult.

Your child needs to know that having a phone (and a smart one with internet access) is a privilege not a necessity and that you have the right to look at it whenever you see fit.

Sit down with them and watch some educational videos about the Internet and how what we say and do online is there forever. NSPCC and other sites have some great stuff.

Do your own research on parental controls and have everything set to the max. It may annoy your child that they have to come to you everytime they want to download something or to visit specific websites but stick with it.

No phones in bedrooms after bedtime.

The problem with my kids generation (they are 21 & 23) is that we were caught on the hop a bit. Many parents could not have predicted how things were going with social media it started off all about keeping tabs on texts. If you set the rules and boundaries from the start there is less pushback. It's when you try to implement new rules a few years in (usually in response to something that has happened) that you get the huge teenage storms and rebellion and invading privacy meltdowns.

So start strong with the restrictions.

No

Why has your 5 year old got a phone?

He doesn't! But when he does I will not check it because he deserves privacy.

He doesn't! But when he does I will not check it because he deserves privacy.

Safeguarding outweighs privacy every day.

If you have a 5 year old it will be utterly incomprehensible to you that your sweet little child will get involved in anything nefarious. But the best brought up of children can and do. All it takes is to get in with the wrong crowd online or be so naive that they are groomed.

A child can be groomed online in 45 minutes. Any child is vulnerable to grooming, some more so than others, but naivety has little to do with it. Be careful not to inadvertently victim blame

Yes, son age 14. I still check his phone much to his and his friends annoyance!
I work in school now and most of the safeguarding/bullying issues involve a social media site! I've only just allowed Snapchat and still not allowed tictok. I don't check it daily just occasionally now but enough to keep him on his toes.
His phone goes off at 9.15 on a school night and 9.45 on others. When he's away with school/friends/scouts I change the time. It's dreadful to see that some kids are still online all night bought!
Bad parenting not to check and allow unfettered access to God knows who and what!
I bought the phone I pay the contract I pay the WiFi.
My phone is off at 10 and downstairs too!

I'm not trying to victim blame. I'm trying to impress on VividNavy Cat that anyone can be groomed or get involved in the unthinkable and that idealistic views of privacy need to be forgotten.

The bloke trying to groom my DS and his friends, and who had succeeded previously by all accounts, is just the sort to take advantage of kids claming need for privacy. There's privacy, then there's vulnerability.