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Original poster

MIL taking child on holiday without you

55 replies

Cpmumx · 12/04/2025 22:22

Hi.

My mother in law wants to take my 2yr old on holiday with her in the same country (England) for a few nights to visit some relatives that have only met my son twice. They live about 3 hours away. I want to say no but just don't know if km being petty. For some context my mother in law is really good to us & we get along on! However only sees my boy about twice month and only at an hour at a time,

what would you do?

edit she has had him to stay at hers multiple times & he loves his grandma but I'm still not comfortable about him being so far away

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Stripeyanddotty · 12/04/2025 22:23

I’d say no.

HereintheloveofChristIstand · 12/04/2025 22:23

Get her to spend more time with him in the build up to this trip.

NappyArgument · 12/04/2025 22:24

Absolutely not

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2 year olds Families
TheNightingalesStarling · 12/04/2025 22:24

Has she ever had him overnight at her hpuse? I'd start with that first.

Elle771 · 12/04/2025 22:24

How is this even a question. No.

Fadesto · 12/04/2025 22:25

Wouldn’t even consider it

ARichtGoodDram · 12/04/2025 22:25

Not with that level of contact.

My MIL has taken all our children away at various points, but previously she'd see them twice a week and they'd stay with her (and FIL) on a regular basis. She now lives with us so has very close bond with them.

If she's to have them overnight then it needs to be at close quarters at first to see how it goes.

DuckieDodgyHedgyPiggy · 12/04/2025 22:25

At age two? No way! What happens when he misses you and is unhappy or misbehaves? You need to knock this on the head. "Sorry MIL, he's too young. Maybe when he's four or five." What does your DH think?

DonutRings · 12/04/2025 22:26

Absolutely not. I don't get the obsession of some grandparents to whisk away their very young grandchildren for overnights. He's a child, not a doll to be carted around and shown off.

You won't like it, nor will he, so just say no! Your baby, your rules.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 12/04/2025 22:27

I’d say no

Paperthin · 12/04/2025 22:29

No.
She doesn’t spend long periods of time with your DC by the sound of it. (2 year olds can be hard work for a parent who knows their every little quirk and can tell when they are tired/cranky/have had enough/ need quiet time etc.)

Daydreamingforever · 12/04/2025 22:30

Hell no

Daydreamingforever · 12/04/2025 22:31

DonutRings · 12/04/2025 22:26

Absolutely not. I don't get the obsession of some grandparents to whisk away their very young grandchildren for overnights. He's a child, not a doll to be carted around and shown off.

You won't like it, nor will he, so just say no! Your baby, your rules.

Yes some act like its rent a puppy

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 12/04/2025 22:32

The trip doesn't sound like it's for your DC benefit and he's little so I would say no (but nicely).

dontlookgottalook · 12/04/2025 22:45

Do you know them well? What a strange request. It would be a no from me. He’s only two, he’s not a toy.

murasaki · 12/04/2025 22:50

He's too young for this and the relationship doesn't sound strong enough. Stand your ground. At 7 or 8, maybe, but not 2.

LuluDelulu · 12/04/2025 22:50

No, I wouldn’t be letting my MIL do that. Or my mum for that matter, even though my DD spends the day with her often.

MiddleClassProblem · 12/04/2025 22:53

I would say no but maybe figure out a time you can all go, stay local to the relatives. 3 hours away can be a weekend trip.

Cryingatthegym · 12/04/2025 22:54

My kid goes away with her Nana but she's 10. At 2 I wouldn't have been comfortable with this. That's still a baby.

MermaidMummy06 · 12/04/2025 23:02

This entirely depends on your comfort level. There's no right or wrong. Say no if you don't want to.

I'd never have allowed it. My DD wouldn't have been ok without me anyway & screamed until she was returned.

Whereas, my friend happily dumped her 3 month old on his GP's, that he'd never met before, in a foreign country & took a long haul holiday for a week. Since then has done so repeatedly. He's 12 now & fine, so I suppose it worked out!

Trying2bMindful · 13/04/2025 03:58

No. Not at 2. Maybe at 10….

RickiRaccoon · 13/04/2025 04:15

It's what you and your child are comfortable with. My MIL lives 4 hours from us so my kids see her every few months. She offered to take 3yo DS for a visit and he was keen and we decided we could use the break because we had his baby sister. He went and loved it.

thismummyslife · 13/04/2025 06:00

If you’re unsure about him going, I’d say no, he needs his mum at the end of the day. The odd night staying over here and there is very different to a full on holidays without his mum.

justmeandmyselfandi · 13/04/2025 06:11

Daydreamingforever · 12/04/2025 22:31

Yes some act like its rent a puppy

Show quote history

Or maybe some people just love their grandchildren and like spending time with them 🙄

ThejoyofNC · 13/04/2025 06:23

If it was my own DM asking then if say absolutely yes, but not my MIL.