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Original poster

MIL taking child on holiday without you

55 replies

Cpmumx · 12/04/2025 22:22

Hi.

My mother in law wants to take my 2yr old on holiday with her in the same country (England) for a few nights to visit some relatives that have only met my son twice. They live about 3 hours away. I want to say no but just don't know if km being petty. For some context my mother in law is really good to us & we get along on! However only sees my boy about twice month and only at an hour at a time,

what would you do?

edit she has had him to stay at hers multiple times & he loves his grandma but I'm still not comfortable about him being so far away

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GildedRage · 13/04/2025 06:27

My DD and SIL happily let me take their 18 mths old to Spain for 5 days. A big family wedding where great grandma met her, fed her berries, ice cream and played with her in the toddler pool.
Beautiful time and memories.
My DD recovered from giving birth and enjoyed the first week of a new baby with a bit more 1-1 time.

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 13/04/2025 06:31

It would be a definite no from me. Too many unknowns to deal with and he's too young, imo. Silly expectation of her test you'd be fine with it. Your dp needs to manage her.

JustAMum31 · 13/04/2025 06:34

Far too young in my opinion.

I wouldn’t let anyone take my 2 year old away for a few nights though, regardless of wether that was to Granny’s house in the same town or to family 3 hours away.

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FaceOrf · 13/04/2025 06:47

Your son is not a toy to be shared. Absolutely no way!

MinnieMountain · 13/04/2025 06:50

Not at that age and level of contact.

My MIL sees lots of DS. She left it until he was 9 before asking to take him to visit relatives overnight.

ChiliFiend · 13/04/2025 07:19

I think you can say you don't want to be so far away from him and she'll understand. You're not being petty - if you don't feel comfortable with it, that's within the range of normal responses.

mindutopia · 13/04/2025 19:13

I think at 2, it would be too young for me. But assuming she is responsible and they are close, it would be fine when a bit older.

Olika · 13/04/2025 19:43

I wouldn’t at 2.

MarxAndSparx · 13/04/2025 19:47

Erm, no.
2 years old is too young to be away from mum & dad, even if it’s with another family member.

Katherina198819 · 13/04/2025 20:00

DonutRings · 12/04/2025 22:26

Absolutely not. I don't get the obsession of some grandparents to whisk away their very young grandchildren for overnights. He's a child, not a doll to be carted around and shown off.

You won't like it, nor will he, so just say no! Your baby, your rules.

Haha but I bet you like the free childcare during the day!

DonutRings · 14/04/2025 18:27

Katherina198819 · 13/04/2025 20:00

Haha but I bet you like the free childcare during the day!

Show quote history

Very clever but we actually live in a different country to both sets of grandparents. Try again.

Lampzade · 14/04/2025 18:32

I wouldn’t tbh given the circumstances , but be prepared for some issues with MIL

Meadowfinch · 14/04/2025 18:39

Not a chance. I wouldn't have allowed by ds away from me for a few days over night at that age.

There is no benefit to your child, who isn't a toy or a source of entertainment to be paraded for your MIL or her friends.

If they want to meet your child, they can come and see him at his home, or invite you both themselves.

Eggsboxedandmelting · 14/04/2025 18:40

Sorry mil we aren't ready for that.
End of chat...

HuskyNew · 14/04/2025 18:42

HateThese4Leggedbeasts · 12/04/2025 22:32

The trip doesn't sound like it's for your DC benefit and he's little so I would say no (but nicely).

This. Being taken from his mum to be paraded round random family is not in his best interests.

NeedthatFridayfeeling · 14/04/2025 19:32

I wouldn’t. Mine is 8 and not been away with grandparents without us, only stayed on her own once while we went to a wedding

Waterlilysunset · 14/04/2025 19:34

No!

maybe if he was 7

Fargo79 · 14/04/2025 19:36

If you're not comfortable then it's a no. End of. You're his mum and he's a baby.

It's too long for a two year old to be away from their mum IMO. It doesn't benefit him but has the potential to be very stressful and unpleasant for him, even if outwardly he appears "fine".

wizzywig · 14/04/2025 20:03

What would be the worst thing that happens? Your son may cry, she will realise she has bitten off way more than she can chew and she will bring him home.

BeeCucumber · 14/04/2025 20:06

Absolutely not. MIL can ask again when he is 10.

Radra · 14/04/2025 20:09

Not sure if I am somehow missing something but if you're happy with her having him overnight and have already done that multiple times, how is this different?

I mean, I wouldn't personally do it but mine hadn't been away from me regularly overnight at that age (or now TBH)

Mindymomo · 14/04/2025 20:13

My MIL was fantastic with DC, she had first DC overnight from about 9 months when we went to a evening wedding reception, she knew we would only leave DC with her at her home where it was safe and DC was happy with. I don’t think at 2 DC wouldn’t have wanted to be away from me for more than a night somewhere he didn’t know, luckily my MIL understood.

Katherina198819 · 15/04/2025 12:30

DonutRings · 14/04/2025 18:27

Very clever but we actually live in a different country to both sets of grandparents. Try again.

Show quote history

Same as we.
My parents bring my nephew to ours (different countries) every year since he has been 3 years old. My sister is happy to get a break, and the grandparents are also happy to do so. Don't see the problem.

Worryabouteverything · 15/04/2025 13:26

My mil and Fil took our daughter on holiday every year since she was 2 1/2.
The closeness between them was lovely to see.
Even now DD is 40 and both in-laws are no longer around the memories she has make her happy.
Yet for reasons you have stated DD would never go anywhere with my parents as they hardly visited and she wouldn't stay overnight.

Only you know if your DD will be comfortable in being away from you.

StartedWithACrisp · 21/04/2025 07:16

Not a chance. Also, if grandparents want to take child on holiday, why don't they want to take the child's mother or father along also? What is the big fascination with having them 'on their own'?