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Original poster

Breastfeeding - where am I going wrong?

106 replies

Syp832 · 31/03/2025 21:07

I’ve just given birth to DS2, he is only 2 weeks old and I really want to breastfeed him but i have no idea how to do it.

he was jaundiced and very sleepy when born so wouldn’t breastfeed and I ended up having to top him up with formula when he was 2 days old. Ever since then breastfeeding has gone on a downward spiral and I don’t know how to get it back. He is currently bottle fed with expressed milk and formula about 50/50.

he is 2 weeks old but has only ever breastfed for 10mins or more about 3 or 4 times because he was too sleepy. But he is now beginning to wake up and be more alert, so I think he could feed well if we could just work out the latch.

it doesn’t help that the first 2 weeks of his life were hectic because we moved into a new house and had to get some urgent works done, so we haven’t had much chance to just sit skin to skin and focus on feeding. I’ve also had a toddler at home with me for the first two
weeks. But things are a lot calmer now and toddler will be going to childcare, so I think we should be able to focus on feeding. I just don’t know how to do it. I’m currently pumping but only getting 30mls or so at a time, although baby is small at 6lbs so maybe that’s not too much of an issue.

does anyone have any advice? Or like a step by step plan I can follow to get us breastfeeding? I spoke to a lactation consultant whose main advice was just to pump regularly and try putting baby to my boob but not to force it. I just don’t see how that will get us breastfeeding.

i never managed to breastfeed my eldest due to PND, and him also being too sleepy /jaundiced to feed. I just really wanted to do better by my second son, but it feels hopeless right now.

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Lelongducanal · 31/03/2025 21:10

Sounds so tough OP, well done for persevering. I really recommend ringing the national breastfeeding helpline and the la leche helpline - this is their bread and butter and they’ll have lots of ideas for a plan that’s tailored to your situation.

DappledThings · 31/03/2025 21:10

I'm not an expert except in the first bit of having had a baby who was really sleepy and couldn't get it at the start. Used to have to strip him and tickle his feet and sprinkle water on him to wake him up enough to start.

But I would say the pumping might be getting in the way. Pumping takes ages and doesn't replicate how feeding works so won't be helping kick-start your supply anywhere near as much as just latching him. I would advise spending as much time as possible just sitting and trying to get him latched.

JollyHostess101 · 31/03/2025 21:11

I struggled at the start as she loads going on outside of the new baby bubble and we got readmitted due to weight loss but went to a BF drop in at the local children’s centre- I know you’ve just moved but can you have a look if there’s something like that in your area?

we ended up combi feeding and it was absolutely great for us all!!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

0-3 months old Antenatal & postnatal Babies & sleep Breast & bottle feeding
rubyslippers · 31/03/2025 21:13

I would stop expressing and offer the breast only
loads of skin to skin when you’re doing it
try a rugby ball hold as this can be more comfortable
feed, feed and feed - every two to three hours day and night
you can then reduce the formula when things are more established
drink water and eat sensibly
Congrats on your new born 💐

NoIroningSheets · 31/03/2025 21:13

Lelongducanal · 31/03/2025 21:10

Sounds so tough OP, well done for persevering. I really recommend ringing the national breastfeeding helpline and the la leche helpline - this is their bread and butter and they’ll have lots of ideas for a plan that’s tailored to your situation.

I completely agree with this.

fashionqueen0123 · 31/03/2025 21:17

Ring the NBH. They’re open 24/7 for calls

https://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

But in essence, put your baby to the boob for each feed. See if you can get them to take both sides. You may need to do a nappy change in between if they fall asleep.

You can usually decrease formula by one bottle every couple or few days depending on how it’s going. If you’ve been pumping that should have helped and your supply is very much hormonally driven at this age so just keep trying! It hopefully won’t take too long.

National Breastfeeding Helpline – Helpline

https://www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

MovingBird123 · 31/03/2025 21:21

I had a lactation specialist from the NHS do a home visit. I also had a phone call with someone from La Leche League. Both invaluable - the first to get the right latch technique, and the second to make a positive plan of action to get back on track.

I had a rocky start, baby was on formula from week 2, but by week 12 was exclusively breastfeeding. It was a lot of hard work, much more than I expected, but there is hope!

Snugglemonkey · 31/03/2025 21:21

My dc1 was tube fed and only learned to breastfeed from 6 weeks on. I kept offering breast when he was hungry and not letting any milk go into the tube until he had tried to feed. He would take very little initially and took a while for it to build up, but he got there.

Pantaloony123 · 31/03/2025 21:25

I had this with my second baby. My milk wasn’t coming quickly enough in and so I had to start with formula plus breastfeeding. I think my flow was very slow and my baby would get frustrated with having to work a bit harder for breastmilk then for formula. Rather than expressing, I did things to encourage the flow of milk. For example, having a warm shower before feeding and making sure that I had plenty of sleep and water and I was looking after myself. Easier said than done I know.

anyway, I went from a situation where I was doing half and half feeding (with breastmilk and formula milk) to exclusively breastfeeding by the time my baby was three weeks. I just cut down the formula and increased the breastfeeding. Good luck-well done for persevering I know it is hard xxxxx

Fourpaw · 31/03/2025 21:25

I was told to retire to my bed with baby for 24-48 hours. Skin to skin. Let baby feed whenever they want to, even if it feels like it’s constant. Get family/husband to care for toddler. Snacks, drinks and food brought to you. Tv and iPad or books, magazines. Just focus on rest and letting baby feed round the clock as they wish, even if baby appears half asleep. This will build up your milk supply and reestablish breast feeding. It worked for me. Good luck.

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 21:27

Put him to the breast as much as possible. Work on the latch. Make sure his mouth is as wide as possible. Spend your days in bed doing skin to skin. Persevere. It’s very hard for the first few months.

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 21:32

Increase your calorie intake and drink plenty of water - this will help your milk supply.

Neodymium · 31/03/2025 21:37

i would strip mine off too when they were sleeping - once they are cold they wake up.

bottles are easier for a baby and the milk comes out faster. So he might be fussy if he’s hungry. Does he have a dummy?

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 21:38

The first month is crucial for building your supply. Cannot overstate how important it is to put baby to the breast as much as you can. It is a different technique for him to learn than taking it from a bottle and he can take more milk from the breast than a pump.

Also when you get sore nipples which you will express some milk onto them and let them air dry. It’s the fastest way to heal them.

I breastfed for years but those first few months were brutal. I’m so glad I pushed through.

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 21:43

Oh and one last thing - rest! Seriously you should just be sat on your bum all day giving it your full attention until it’s established. Good luck x

BeSharpBee · 31/03/2025 21:50

Seriously, as soon as your eldest is in childcare, hop into bed with baby. Spend the day in bed, skin to skin and feeding on demand. Do nothing but nurse and let the baby suckle and stimulate the milk.

Obviously follow safe bed sharing guidelines and nap while you're there. Take in snacks and drinks and literally just rest and nurse.

Original poster
Syp832 · 31/03/2025 21:56

When people say ‘put baby to your breast’ - what do you do if you put him to your breast and he either starts crying fiercely, or doesn’t open his mouth wide enough, or just won’t latch on? Do you just keep persevering or eventually just give him a bottle?

OP posts:
Original poster
Syp832 · 31/03/2025 21:58

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 21:27

Put him to the breast as much as possible. Work on the latch. Make sure his mouth is as wide as possible. Spend your days in bed doing skin to skin. Persevere. It’s very hard for the first few months.

How do I work on the latch? And how do I get his mouth as wide as possible? He doesn’t tend to open his mouth very wide

OP posts:
Original poster
Syp832 · 31/03/2025 22:00

MovingBird123 · 31/03/2025 21:21

I had a lactation specialist from the NHS do a home visit. I also had a phone call with someone from La Leche League. Both invaluable - the first to get the right latch technique, and the second to make a positive plan of action to get back on track.

I had a rocky start, baby was on formula from week 2, but by week 12 was exclusively breastfeeding. It was a lot of hard work, much more than I expected, but there is hope!

That’s amazing, and really similar to what I’m hoping for. what was the plan you used to get there?

OP posts:
NoIroningSheets · 31/03/2025 22:04

Syp832 · 31/03/2025 21:56

When people say ‘put baby to your breast’ - what do you do if you put him to your breast and he either starts crying fiercely, or doesn’t open his mouth wide enough, or just won’t latch on? Do you just keep persevering or eventually just give him a bottle?

Persevere, it’s hard at first but the more you put him to the breast, the more milk you will produce.

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 22:05

There are some great You tube videos that helped me.
I would also call your health visiting team tomorrow and ask for help.

DeepRoseFish · 31/03/2025 22:06
Starfishfriend · 31/03/2025 22:14

I struggled with a baby who wouldnt open their mouth or make any effort.
you need to hold the neck and tip their head back so the nose is away and the chin is next to your boob, it sort of encourages the mouth to open wide enough.
you probably need some in person support. I’d stop pumping, go to bed, just sit in bed for a few days and do nothing but try and feed, skin to skin and watch tv and relax. Start cutting the formula feeds down and just keep an eye on wet nappies.