This is a long post.
My bf and I have been together 3 years. I've been taking care of his daughter since we first started dating her bio mother has seen her maybe 6 months out of my whole relationship with the dad. We are a blended family, I bring in 3 kids of my own from a previous relationship and he brings in kids from two previous relationships and we share a child we had a yr ago. My bfs daughter is 5. The same as my twins. But she has a lot of, what I think stem from behavior problems or adhd, I'm not sure. I realize she's only 5 but it's been hell with her. My twins and her older brother who's only 3 years older have never done the things she does.
She is very manipulative, devious, sneaky, mean, jealous, malicious. Her behaviors have now affected all of my children even my oldest whos 13. Her, half brother from her father does not like being around her and neither do my twins. I'm scared to leave her alone with my one yr old. But I'm her main caretaker, it's finally come to the point where her dad is sending her to her mom but idk for how long but I cannot care for her anymore.
She's accused my kids of touching her, she's the one who's been inappropriate with the boys, she's now even trying to accuse my 1 yr old of being inappropriate with her. I've seen here trying to kiss and be inappropriate with all my kids and ive had to explain this to her father, my kids even explained how uncomfortable they feel with her , so shes not allowed around then alone. She constantly lies even if it's not necessary, she's got kicked out of TK, Daycare, and family doesn't want to even watch her. She's hit my 1 yr old in his soft spot multiple times when he was months old because of her jealousy, she's called my twins racist names, will ask strangers to take her because we don't feed her and we beat her (we do not do that). When I try explaining things to her she just laughs or seems bored and uninterested in listening to me. She constantly gets into everyone's things, if she doesn't like the food I give her, she throws in under the table, on the wall, or hides it behind cabinets or anything really. When I confront her she tells me to clean it up. She has told me numerous times I'm only here to cook, clean, and do what her dad says. She is aggressive towards the other children. Her dad does put her in time out and take toys and stuff away, we don't know what else to do because honestly she scares us. She acts worse when her dad is not here. She will have a few good days but she always reverts back to these behaviors. Her dad will tell me I shouldn't let a child get to me like that but he doesn't understand how this effects me mentally. I have stopped trying to help with doctors appointment and everything because I feel her bio parents need to figure out what's going on with her mentally and emotionally. I have to take a step back and worry for my own kids mental health as well as mine. We are all in therapy now cus of this. Idk it's so much more but I'm just curious has anyone else gone through something like this? Idk if my relationship can survive this. I know he needs to be there for his daughter but I'm not putting my kids through this anymore or taking care of her anymore. I feel horrible for even saying that but I can't do it.