Reduce nursery days

[Hyperquiet]

My 17 month old has been at nursery one week (3 full days) and screams on drop off and has been super clingy as I think feels abandoned. He also doesn't nap more than 20 minutes ish there so becomes overtired. However, nursery do lots of activities with them like messy play which we wouldn't do.

I know it has only been a week however we recently learned, we potentially have an option of a grandparent who doesn't drive coming to our house via taxi which we would pay for of course (would be picked up later by a family member) to look after our child.

One of us would have to go and pick one year old up in the middle of the work day so at lunchtime. I work from home in an intensely busy role and DH wfh half the week too, sometimes really busy too.

We would have to help get him in and out of the bath and maybe help with dressing after nursery as grandparent isnt the most mobile.

Baby then has a nap and grandparent would stick around until my husband finishes work.

Tried not to leave anything out.

Thoughts?

@Hyperquiet I feel you! We started nursery last week and our little one was not happy at all as they've only ever been with us and if I had anyone nearby who offered I might be thinking of reducing hours too as last week was awful! I wasn't really expecting it to be so bad as none of my friends have experienced it (or they were just keeping quiet)

But just think once they're settled how much better it'll be for them and you as the grandparent does sound like it'll be more complicate- we've just got to push through and hope it clicks and they start enjoying it!!

When my son first started nursery my wife and I caught on very fast that if I did drop offs he went in better. If mum dropped him he would be screaming the place down when she left.

It stung a little bit he was happy to see me leave but it really is the best for them.

The grandparent option is a non starter, what will you do if they are sick or have a doctor or eye appointment etc. I'd guess you have voiced your concerns about the nursery and the GP has got wind of it and kindly offered to help even though it would be very impractical for all involved.

Persevere with nursery, my two kids absolutely love it and they develop so much more surrounded by their peers.

Relying on family means that you have no cover for their hoildays/sickness, so I’d stick with nursery.

This is true

I will have to do one of the three drop offs at least.

Hope he starts to love it soon!

Stick with nursery not least as its so important for their development. My 3 year old still occasionally whimpers at drop off but 30 seconds later she has forgotten me! I do the dump and run also, quick kiss on her head "have a nice day" and then I'm in the car and off to my adult world. Its all part of the journey but don't back down and plus they might not be safe with elderly grandparents. Stick with it and will be good.

Thanks for your perspective

One week OP. ONE WEEK. He is nowhere near adapted yet. He won't be hollering the lace down by the summer. Give him a chance.

At 17 months he'd be better off with a grandparent than in a nursery, you can worry about messy play when he's 3, for now it's not important. Felling secure and loved is much more important at this age. It sounds very complicated with grandma though and he'd still be going to nursery 3 x a week for half days so would still be left just as often. For that reason I don't think it's worth it for all the hassle it will be.

I agree with the PP who said you'd be better off with a really good childminder. At 17 months they are better off in a home from home environment with just one carer they can attach to and who can give them a lot of attention. You will get a lot of feedback rather than not really knowing what's going on and it should be a much easier transition than a busy nursery.

I've worked in a few nurseries and wouldn't have put mine into one.

Please can you tell me why you wouldn't put your child in nursery from your experience?