Today is one of those days that I am feeling so sad, and guilty. I was married to French woman for 3 years. She moved to the UK to live with me but she never settled here. Never worked (even though she was well qualified), had no interest in making friends. Initially I din't mind being 'everything' for her: financial support, social life, emotional support. We were ok until our son was born in 2016. She gradually became unbearably more demanding, dependant and really nasty towards me. For a year I put up with it until it got to the point that I had to move out. My main reason was so that my young son would not be a witness to her screaming at me.
To make a long story short, I allowed her to take my son back to France to live with her. I knew that she would be happier there, and therefore he would be happier too.
The option of me moving to live in France was out of the question, as I could not make a decent enough living in France to support us, as I have little french.
I send her very generous maintenence and I vist my boy 6 or 7 times a year. I say with my ex and son when I go over there. I get on well with my ex, but I have bitten my lip more times than I can remember, as I never want my son to witness any hostility between us. I spend every christmas with them and summer holidays (10 days).
He is 8 now, I have never gotten over the guilt that I may have made the wrong decision of letting him leave the country. I feel that I have never been the full time dad that I would have love to have been. Because of the language I could never really tell him a bedtime story (although I do speak a little french). I constantly tell him how much I adore him. I know that he loves me too.
Today is one of those days that I am feeling that guilt. It just makes me so sad. Thank you for reading
G