Do I have to take DS to this?

[Sosadso]

Do I have to take my son to this? My son was put on a reduced time table due to not coping in school, his school referred him to something they didn’t even ask my permission the woman from the LA just contacted me saying the school had referred him. It's basically a club for kids to make friends during school hours so I was told, only when I took my son there there was only one other child there which I found odd. I was told there was 5 children, not only that the staff were asking him some very weird questions which I don’t know why they asked him and he told me they made him feel uncomfortable and he didn't like the questions they were asking, when I picked him up he was sat on a table surrounded by 5 members of staff. I was asked to leave but the other kids mum stayed, I thought she was just settling her child. the place is nowhere near my house and it means dropping him then hanging around on the street for 2 hours once a week, I mean I would do this if it benefited him absolutely but he didn’t enjoy going and I can’t go home in that time as it’s too far to go home so I just have to stand on the street, there’s no much local near by and nor do I have money to spend anyway I don’t drive so can’t sit in my car or drive anywhere etc. I don’t want to take him anymore but been told if I don’t it looks like I’m not engaging with things and refusing support? but I don’t feel this works for us? bit of background, my son was diagnosed with autism this month. he has always struggled socially and never really had any friends. he managed to make 2 in primary in year 6 but that was with a LOT of intervention from the school and both children were also ND. unfortunately they both went to different secondary schools, i was concerned about him starting a school especially without having friends there and his limited interest in socialising however everyone assured me he would "find his tribe" and "if he made friends in primary he would make them in secondary" well as i suspected this couldn't have been more wrong. he doesn't have a single friend in school and has been bullied a lot he is now on a reduced time table. the school are asking me to send him even though he doesn't want to go he told me it was "weird and boring" and he didn't like it there and would rather go to school that day. If I don't take him will that affect any other support? I spoke to someone and they said it will look like i'm not engaging.

I understand OP, I have a now adult son who has autism and he hated school. My biggest regret is not taking him out of secondary school to home school him. People without direct knowledge of a child with autism won't get it. I don't think mainstream secondary school is suitable for some children on the spectrum. It left my son with severe depression. That would be my suggestion, home school him while trying for a more appropriate educational setting.

OP, I suggest you get this thread moved/start a new thread on an SEN board. With all due respect, many posters here are not understanding the legal complexities and emotional anguish of parenting an SEN child whose needs are not being met.

FWIW, I would find out as much information as you can about the referral and the setting and then make your own judgement about whether it could benefit your son. If you think it would actually be detrimental, then explain that to them with reference to his needs.

Good luck with the EHCP process- maybe try to look up the EHCP support thread over in SEN as it has some very knowledgeable posters.

My apologies for getting the wrong end of the stick. I haven't known children being put on a reduced timetable without some degree of school refusal, regardless of the reason. I'm sorry that your son has been bullied and assaulted. Did you keep him off school after that? I would understand if you had.
I still feel you are very prickly to posters and maybe that's come across to the group leaders.

A PT timetable is illegal.

I would put in writing to the LA that your ds is entitled to a FT education that is suitable for his needs and you are giving them 15 days to find a suitable placement.

If any place they want him educated is over 3 miles away and it's the nearest place he can get his needs met (eg somewhere you have been told to take him other than school) then they need provide transport.

You need to make sure you familiarise yourself with SENDCoP and the children and families act. All the time they can bulky parents into thinking they have to do x y and z they will because that is easier for them.

Anytime they want him sent home and not do a full day then say they'll leave the building with him when you have the exclusion paperwork in your hands or email inbox.

There obviously is a chance that your da will get excluded a lot and then permanently. But then that also places responsibility on the LA to find him a school he can manage at.