Starting potty training - shall we have a support thread?

[sweetkitty]

Thought it would be a good idea if we had a support thread for us lovely people starting potty training to share tips etc

I'm on Day 3 of potty training DD2 (2.4yo) so far it's been completely horrendous nothing in the potty so far.

She pees on the floor (sorry am Scottish so a wee is small, pee is wee IYSWIM) and I'll say "DD2 where should that pee pee be" "in the potty Mummy not on the floor" she sits on her potty fine but pee going in potty is not happening for us yet.

Ooh, can i join this please.

Started potty training DS (2.9yo) couple of weeks ago - as far as the potty bit goes all going well as far as wees are concerned. With poos, however he has always pood mainly at night when he's asleep, never bother him or woke him up really. Now he's started to wake in the night though saying he needs a wee then pooing,got to the point where he was climbing out of cot to come tell us he needed his nappy changed if he'd weed, or pood so have had to put him into bed. He is now constantly in our room saying he needs the toilet or his nappy changing. Any ideas?

Day 6 & 7 - what a disaster, leave dh in charge on Saturday to have some girly shopping with dd and come back to ds in pull-ups and no attempts at getting anywhere near the potty. OK they were having a great time in the garden, but the potty was inside and nothing had happened regarding reminders or encouragement all day. Therefore, yesterday ds refused to go anywhere near potty as he had had it easy on Saturday. I think we are back to square one . WIsh me luck, I think I might need it

Have decided to put off potty training until after summer holidays at least, since the family will be going abroad for 3 weeks without me (and I KNOW won't be able to stick to the plan, partly because they're not as firm but also because they'll be doing lots of things and won't always be near enough to a potty). So we're going to try a month or so before baby comes. FINGERS CROSSED he won't revert when new baby comes along!!!

We've had to put it all on hold for the time being.
DD started with a nasty cough last Wednesday which resulted in us being up most of Weds and Thurs nights with her coughing 'til she was sick. On top of that her hay-fever has come out really badly as they are silaging at the minute and she has been having horrendous nose bleeds so ... I decided that she has enough on her plate for the time being.
I'll try and start again next weekend probably.

Day 8 - one accident, seven successes. I think we may have got the hang of this potty training thing (well for today at least).
My one big tip is cotton pants and don't revert back to nappies/pull-ups no matter how tough it gets.

Hi west3. I have been following all your messages. How long has it taken you to get to a this stage? I am on day 4 and although dd is very good at going on the potty she is also very good at going on the floor! I keep wanting to go back to nappies but after your message I will continue even though feel like i'm swimming in wee!

Hi Caramel, ds is three weeks off his 3rd birthday and this is our third attempt at potty training (one half hearted and one serious previously).
Ds has been very good at the theory for about two months ie. where do you do a wee? On the potty comes back the reply. Big boys wee on the potty etc etc. But showed no desire to actually put it into practice but I just took the bull by the horns nine days ago and decided that he was probably being lazy about it all and I would have to take the lead.
I set myself up to do it, potty, rewards (smarties), star chart, kitchen timer and a good book (for me)and took refuge in one room of the house. Left him naked from waist down and set the timer for thirty minutes, when the beeps went he had to sit on the potty (it became quite a game) and repeated. Have to say the housework took a back seat and we had takeaways for a couple of nights but it let me focus on him. Essential trips out (school run) I kept him in cotton pants but put lightweight pull-up on over the top to prevent leakage (school run is twenty minutes each way)and so far so good.
We are now on Day 9 and the potty has moved out of the playroom/sitting room and into the hall between it and the kitchen and he is still managing to get there in time. We have now also abandoned the kitchen timer and have just started to remind him periodically. He has been to playgroup this morning with the pants/pull-ups combination on and managed fine with no accidents (or trips to toilet)
I have to admit I have wanted to give up quite a few times and once or twice got angry with him for accidents (funnily enough I think that may have helped him realise that a wee on the floor wasn't ok) but i just kept reminding myself of the following

• most things can be washed
• this is just something we all have to get through

• one day at a time

- finally, wine/chocolate/bubbly bath or combination of all three can work wonders for the trainer when the trainee has gone to bed.

We are getting there but I am still not confident enough to brave proper shopping ( I know I'm a coward)

Thank you! sounds as though you are well on your way! I feel a 100 miles off dd telling me that she needs to go but who knows!
If you are a coward not going shopping...I have no plans to go for at least a year!
what are the light weight training pants you are talking about. Are they like nappies or nearer to pants? We have a few long journeys coming up and I need something for those inevitable emergencies on the motorway! Do you reckon they think they are back in nappies or just a different type of pant?
Come 7 o'clock I am downing the wine and relaxed in the knowledge that dd has a nappy on!

Hi, what I mean is the Huggies Pull-ups (see & learn or feel & learn ones - got them on BOGOF so didn't feel too guilty about the expense). I put a pair of cotton pants on first then the pull-ups on top, sounds a bit crazy but they get the wet, uncomfortable feeling of wet pants but no wet trousers, car seat, buggy etc etc. If you can cope with the wet trousers a bed mat or old towel is enough to protect a car seat or buggy just a little extra washing. Ds thinks the pull-ups are a nappy if I don't put the cotton pants on as well - hence the disasterous weekend (see prev post) when dh was in charge.
Early on I don't think ds actually knew he needed the potty that is why we used the kitchen timer, but over a few days especially the last two or three he began to get the association of feeling and action.
I think you just need to stick in there and accept the fact you might be out of circulation for a week or so. I promise the hard work is worth it and the feeling you get when you are presented with a full potty and a demand for smarties when you were totally unaware that they needed to go is worth all the puddles, washing and whispered cursing.

Sorry if that said a bit smug and pushy, it wasn't meant too.
I've been lucky so far but have still really needed that wine/gin/chocolate every evening. The girly shopping trip with dd was more of a sanity break, I actually ended up in tears on Saturday morning convinced I was smelling more of wee and Vanish than the expensive shower gel I had got for my birthday and dh felt compelled to send me away for the day.
How old is your dd? Can you try the tough love option without up setting her too much?

I know it must be too early but so far we have had a accident free day!!! DD hasn't asked to go yet but she is always willing when I suggest it to her. (I mention it about every 5 mins it seems!!) Plus she went to playgroup this afternoon and no accidents there. She is 2.8 by the way.
Thank you for your fab words of advice. It makes the whole process much easier when someone else is at the same stage (slightly more advanced in your case!)
I hope you have now got to the complete success stage.

Having said earlier that I wasn't actively potty training, DS(2 and 2 weeks) had chicken pox last week so we went for it. 4 days in the house, 2 accidents, so not bad at all. Yesterday he was back at nursery - total of 4 accidents (2 small, 1 poo, 1 big wee), but loads of wees in the potty which I thought was pretty good considering that he'd have to take himself off to the potty, and the amount of distractions there too.

Am hoping that this continues as well as it started, but feel strangely bad about the girls having to deal with the accidents, even though he's been in cloth nappies before, so really no difference.

West3, you're making me feel better. DS is also 3 in 3 weeks, and we are on day 2. First day - 50% success rate in the morning. 10% in the afternoon.

Today - 0% success rate so far. And he's been up since 6.30, so that's a LOT of pants and trousers. We are now in pants and pyjama bottoms, and I have stopped crying (the last lot just really really got to me - think the bad night with DD isn't helping either!) I will try your 'naked from the waist down' tip shortly.

What really really upsets me is DSis's oft-repeated mantra that 'there's a lot of building up of potty-training, but it's really easy once they can talk'. It just makes me feel like such a f*ing failure because this is definitely NOT EASY.

Corriedale - no it isn't easy whether they can talk or not. At that age the smallest thing takes their attention and you have another puddle on the floor. Having a good cry can work wonders, dh didn't realise how tough it was for me until I broke down on Saturday. We are now on day 11 and we are currently having about two accidents a day (about a 80% success rate)particularly when he is tired. He now wears just cotton pants when in the house and is managing fine to pull them down at the appropriate time. Hang in there, your ds will pick it up. With my ds it was like a switch suddlenly was flicked on and he seemed to just get it (about day 8). Good Luck
Caramel - sounds as if she is getting the hang of it. Keep going with the reminders, I still ask ds every hour or so whether he needs or not is up to him. Before going out etc I always sit him on potty for five minutes regardless. It is starting to get easier but I still feel cautious about going out for too long.

He's peeing about every 15 mins at the moment (and I'm not managing to catch them!). Currently naked from waist down. I am managing (just!) to remain 'cheerful and positive' but it's a struggle. I honestly didn't think it would be this stressful! I mean, it isn't like I'm hugely houseproud!!!

Corriedale - if today is just not going to happen, put him in a nappy, pack a picnic (if weather is ok) and head to the park. Have a bit of a break and start again this afternoon or completely fresh tomorrow morning. You are not going to lose anything plus we all need a sanity break sometimes. I'm round and about until 2ish if you need to let off steam.

Thank you for that! Sometimes letting off steam is all that's required.

After that bloody start, things did improve. Well, he did one belting pre-lunch wee in the potty (cue much clapping and hugging!) and then I just stripped him off and left him to it! We even managed to get out to the shop for 20 mins or so. I think because I'd calmed down he was able to relax too. He's just done another now so we're ending the day on the right note.

One funny thing he did this afternoon was to start a wee in the garden. 'oh DS,' say I, 'why not aim at the flower bed? That'd be fun'. 'Ooh yes!' he says enthusiastically and stops weeing! he walks over to the flower bed and happily finishes the wee there!!!!!! Now that was when I realised there may be an element of tail-twisting going on here....

Corriedale - now that you are feeling a bit brighter your task for this evening is to ignore all household tasks and put your feet up with a large glass of something. Don't forget you are focusing so hard on your ds at the moment that you need some time for YOU. We've had a pretty good day here and managed song time at the library this afternoon but the wine is chilling and a glass or two will be passing my lips later (if he is getting rewards for this then so am I)

Yep, that was pretty much my plan too. The wine is chilling and the Mars bars are at the ready.

For tomorrow, I'll get him out into the garden ASAP. And your kitchen timer idea has helped - even if he doesn't wee on schedule, at least I have a focus rather than just indulging in random stressing. So thanks for that. I have however decided that if we don't have a significantly higher success rate by Sunday, then I'll give it a rest for a bit before trying again. It's the self-imposed purdah that I find so difficult - we're so used to being out and about, and being house-bound is hard.

I agree cabin fever can set in very quickly, fortunately I have a school run to do twice a day so at least I get a slight change of scenery.
Activities can make life a bit easier, painting in the garden, tents, picnics or even water play.
Sunday will be your day 5 so hopefully he will have a better hit rate by then. But please don't give up for the sake of a few extra days, it sounds as if he is getting the hang of it and could be just playing you up slightly/being a bit lazy about it. Can your dp or family member/friend do a couple hours childcare to give you some time out?

This is what we are using as a record of achievement, coloured in with crayons each time we have a success.

www.pottytrainingconcepts.com/images/Potty-Training-Chart2.pdf
and
www.childavenue.com/pages/family_corner_pages/printables.html the train one.

How's it going today CorrieDale? We managed a whole morning out without accident, rewarded with choc spread sandwiches for a picnic lunch in the garden. I think I must be getting soft in my old age, he wouldn't normally be allowed such an indulgence at lunchtime.
Hopefully, your strike rate is up and you are feeling more positive. Remember wine and choc for this evening, if you haven't got any GET SOME!

Hi,

DD is 18 months (v young to start I know) but she knows when she's doing a wee as she clutches her nappy and also when she's done a poo and I haven't spotted it, she'll go and lie on her changing mat and wait for me. She is also quite obsessed with wet wiping her own botbot.

Shall I give it a go or is that madness?

How do you start?>

Give it a go, you've nothing really to lose. Have you got a potty/trainer seat and does she know what it is and what it is for? That's the first step. Second step is finding time to devote to the cause. We have taken 12 days to get 99-100% reliable and brave enough to venture out for a reasonable length of time. Good luck and the tips throughout this thread are brilliant. Remember if it doesn't work out then no harm done and give it a rest for a few weeks and try again.

Well, today was much better. In fact, last night, he asked to get out of the bath to do a poo in the potty. I'd say his strike rate today was well over 75% - 2 accidents and at least 7 potty-bound wees! I simply cannot believe it and suspect that the turnaround came when I realised (and he KNEW I'd realised) that he had both bladder control and mummy control! When I came to think of it, he had been timing his productions for 30 secs after he'd got off the potty, or just as he saw me coming to say 'potty-time'. And yet he looks so sweet and angelic....

Tomorrow we're risking a visit to the local garden centre - I'm feeling very positive!

Thank you so much for the words of encouragement - yesterday, I was like a different parent to the one I'd been for 3 years, and not a very likeable one either!!!