When do you find time to shower with a newborn?!

[Poppy2421]

My second baby is 4 weeks old and overall I'm finding it much easier than last time but the thing I'm struggling with is when I can wash and get ready for the day!? I feel so much better if I'm able to have a quick shower in the morning but baby is only really awake to feed and then wants to be held while napping all the time. I've put him in a sling so I can eat, use the toilet etc but I'm often still in PJs by midday. When I tried putting him in the sleepyhead in the bathroom so I could wash he just stayed awake for hours and got gradually more agitated, so didn't seem a good solution. What does everyone else do?

Thanks for actually reading and this is a good suggestion 😊 I think you're probably right the reflux is why he doesn't like being laid down flat so I'll bring the bouncer upstairs to try that instead.

In the Romanian orphanages baby were left without human interaction for hours, left in cots when they should have had freedom to move and learn to crawl. Nothing at all like leaving a baby to cry for a few minutes at a time. I thought I was a very hands on mum, breastfed etc but mothers on munsnet now are batshit in never ever leaving a baby to cry.

And how do parents these days do anything if they never leave their baby?

Cook, clean, shower, look after older DC’s.

Those saying I never put my baby down during my maternity leave….bonkers.

I learnt quickly after a visiting a friend with her new born and having her stay a month later. The LO could not be put down, because that is all she knew. Couldn't go to sleep without being on mum, mum couldn't put her down in the day, mum had to take her everywhere.

Calm routine, patterns to sleep, Moses basket in the main room and taken up at night. Whilst awake, mat on the floor or a playpen arrangement, adult interaction to ‘chat’ , read stories and play.
My newborn, early weeks of having a baby were the easiest of all.

I think a lot of people on this thread have forgotten the difference between an actual newborn and a small baby 😊🙃
Newborns are not awake longer than an hour at a time and during that hour need to be fed and have a nappy change. If you've got a reflux baby who needs to be held upright after a feed, that's the full hour gone!
All the playing on a mat/being calm but awake/watching me go about my day will come in time - but not yet!

I started taking a shower in the evening when DH was around. I found getting dressed every morning helped my mental health, and without a shower I only needed a few mins so could be done before DH left or by putting baby down very briefly if he had. I've stuck with the same routine to be honest now DS is a toddler as I find that easier.

With DS, I used to pop him on a mat/blanket in the bathroom and shower while he quite happily lay there. Sometimes he would cry/fuss a bit and I would finish up and then hop out. Easy! Sometimes minor crying fussing.

DD used to scream like she was being murdered, and she had the most hideous cry, it was like nails down a chalk board. Eventually I gave up and brought her in with me and we'd just shower together. She's now an absolutely feral independent toddler who constantly yells "I DO IT" so I don't think it made her clingy and dependent.

Mine, as new borns just slept in their Moses basket. Wake, feed, change, sleep.

Or, wake, feed, change, hold upright to sleep because reflux screaming will result if lain flat, wake, feed, change, hold upright to sleep because reflux…
It can all very much depend on your child, as well as how you plan to parent.

With my first (reflux baby), I put them in the bouncer in the bathroom, positioned so I could see them through the shower door. Quick shower, job done.

When I had my second (non reflux baby) and my eldest was 2yo, I couldn't leave either of them alone and couldn't leave eldest roaming the bathroom while newborn in the bouncer either (they'd get whacked!) so I showered in the evening once kids in bed: Toddler bedtime as usual, newborn sleeping downstairs next to me on the sofa/me watching TV for evening until they woke for next feed - then I took baby upstairs, nursed/changed nappy, settled baby to sleep in my bedroom in Next2me, took monitor to the bathroom and had a super speedy shower baby monitor propped up on the side of the bath so I could see. As soon as I stepped out the shower I popped in to check on them and then returned to get dry/dressed and then into bed next to baby. If DH happened to be home, he'd sit in our bedroom after baby was settled there while I showered more leisurely. Then in the morning, I just need to wash face and brush teeth.

You make it work for you, as safest as you can for DC, whether you have a DH/DP to help or not.

Congratulations on your newborn!

This will give you some useful, practical advice @Poppy2421, a mum with triplets and two older children.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/5272777-ask-me-anything-about-triplets?reply=142104677

My baby was like this. I used to take 5 mins showers and put her in front of the shower cubicle in her car seat. I would wash and wave to her 😭. She would cry and be impatient but hey ho, no one was injured in the process. She is 16 now and doesn't remember a thing 😉

Apart from Mn I’ve not heard of anyone taking a baby seat in the bathroom. I put DT’s into their cots in the bedroom - seemed the safest place.

I found it much less stressful when I made peace with the fact that I showered in the evenings once DP came home from work.

I'm due my second baby in the next 4 weeks and I've massively lowered my expectations this time round 😂. Pyjamas and Frosties for lunch for the win!