Can we have a 'My children are driving me insane' support group please?

[JoshandJamie]

I was about to post about yet another behaviour issue with my sons and then I thought - no. While I know everyone will have some great advice, it's not advice I need. It's commiserations.

We start each day with a cup of milk and each day they have the exact same argument about who's having which cup. And thus commences the day - interspersed with pooing in pants, peeing in pants, constant bickering, not listening, wasting food,tantrums, pushing boundaries - until they go to bed and I am frazzled.

So if anyone else out there needs a place to vent / have a virtual hug or glass of wine / feel like you're not alone in being a mother on the edge, then sign up here.

5.30 wake up this morning to deal with dummy mourning, and wanting to watch lazytown. 10 hr day at work, back to deal with t1 1/2 hr tantrum over custard creams.

Friday night, wine, so don't want to remind myself, but here goes:

1. weeing on the toilet seat,

2)(DD (3)) refusal to wipe bottom, agony over dummies, repetitive whingeing

3. I feel like I'm the inaudible woman with the older two boys who merrily ignore me until their father roars at them ...

Have chucked out so much accumulated junk today. I am so fed up of moving useless tat from one place to another.

And breathe..

Oh yes, stones and leaves and feathers and any useless bit of tat picked up from the road which you are supposed to know is treasure...

Fillyjonk (I know this isn't supposed to be about advice) but couldn't you see if someone on mumsnet with older DCs has another identical pink plate?

Reading this thread makes me feel better. Somehow rarely see friends children doing this stuff so good to know I'm not the only one.

lol i should probably do that except it seems absurd to pander to it

and in a few months i will need THREE identical plates, grr

breakfast arrgh

Managed to persuade dh to give DDs breakfast this morning and hid under the duvet.

Never mind famines, wars and earthquakes, running out of raisin wheats is officially THE end of the world...

And why don't the people who make petit filou make all the pots identical? My DDs will only eat the ones with pictures of girls on and throw tremendous tantrums if they end up with a boy pot..... tantrums before 8 am, marvellous

It comes to something when a trip to the supermarket is a treat!! According to dh it counts as time to myself. marvellous...

I don't think it's a coincidence at all that all 'parenting gurus' with their endless 'helpful' advice are either men or women with no children.
At the sharp end you know it's mayhem whatever you do. I type as someone who has a sore throat from shouting and has just popped her daughter's balloon because she stole her brother's and made me wrestle it from her hands while also driving the car. Why they make such a fuss about mobile phones while driving I cannot imagine. It would make much more sense to ban anyone from driving two or more children under the age of....oh....30?

I leave the house and shut the front door. 30 seconds later when I come back in they're generally pretty willing to come with me.... hmmm not sure it's very good parenting tho..

lol Vivace about driving with the kids, it's SOOO dangerous!!

DD1 keeps chewing her hair, it's disgusting. Her face yesterday when I got the kitchen scissors and threatened to cut her hair with them... Feel v guilty now (but didn't actually do anything with the scissors...)

Our morning:
Me: who wants porridge?
DS2: ME
DS1: Not me - I want rice krispies and weetabix and noughts and crosses.
Me: you can have rice krispies and noughts and crosses. if you eat it all, you can have weetabix
DS1 upon being presented with cereal: but I wanted to pour the milk.
Me: Sorry, I didn't know
DS1: well now I'm not eating it
Me: fine. go hungry
DS1: And I said I wanted weetabix
Me: repeated previous explanation
DS2: I want weetabix
Me: but you said you wanted porridge (which was now midway through being made)
DS2: I WANT WEETABIX, I WANT WEETABIX ad infinitum
Me: X!&* under breath - fine, have bloody weetabix
DS2 then sees me putting porridge in my bowl
DS2: I WANT PORRIDGE, I WANT PORRIDGE
Me: do you want porridge or weetabix? last chance before I string you up by your toes
DS2: porridge.
Fine. We eat in relative silence for a few minutes
DS1: I also want porridge.
Me: Well now there's none left
DS1: I WANT PORRIDGE, I WANT PORRIDGE
Me: rams head into wall and leaves them to scream before calmly re-entering and offer toast.
Me: Would you like marmite or jam on your toast? And thus commences round two...

So glad this thread is here.
So many times I have felt like I am the only one with terribly behaved DC who fight, ignore, shot scream and hit.
I has made me feel so low at times , nothing I do is right.

I have come on here and posted about behaviour and been told try this/that, but all I want really is someone to say - It is normal, Having DC is often lonely, and shit.

I sympathise totally. stones - every bloody where. Grandad has a stick that he keeps at their house for dd1 (the dog got it last week) I went home, leaving kids there before she noticed! .
The pair of them have to empty juice from their cups into another receptacle (box, potty, nappy sack) what the hell are you supposed to do with that one. I can't not give them access to drinks all day. DD1 has unscrewed the stairgate from the door to the living room because she wanted to get out. But then her and dd2 just run off in opposite directions leaving me running around the house like a mad woman. If I am stupid enough to leave baby wipes in the living room while I dispose of nappy sacks they steal a load and hide them. Next time I leave the room (to go to the loo, make a drink) they unsecrete them and 'clean' the tv/windows etc.
Whatever size spoon I give dd1 is the wrong one. Even if she picks it herself.
Milk has to be poured over her dinner - then dd2 copies.
When DH gets home the mayhem continues til he tells them off. Then its temper tantrums all around and I'm left with 2 screaming snotty kids and a grumpy arsed DH!!
Oh and GOD help me if I try to put dd1 in trousers and a long sleeved top . . . .

ALL these things have happened in my house So if it's sooo commonplace why oh why when I talk to my friends in RL about it do they look at me aghast, as if I'm a terrible mother and clearly not in control of my children???

Because

1. They can't admit to it
2. They think you will judge

3.They think they are the only one and really you are exaggerating

This is my experience. I really believed all of the above and it was only on a drunken and rare night out did some confess to life being the same. Others live with their head in the clouds

OMG DD1 is peeling her sausages AND her peas...

Today is going to be one of THOSE days. So far DS2 has not stopped moaning/screaming/crying/shouting from the moment I've got up.

We've had the regular fights about toast (what topping and whether it should be left whole, cut in half or quarters - apparently he wanted it cut in star shapes - silly me not being able to whisk that up at 7am)

Older brother eventually hit younger brother, which led to more screaming. When I asked older brother why he'd hit, he said: 'because he was being annoying'. And I had to say, I agreed with him. Sigh.