To offer a school mum a lift..

[Paul2023]

So my DS ( 5) goes to reception. I work shifts so sometimes do the school pick up drop off.
Lately I’ve been on annual leave quite a bit so done quite a few of the school runs, atleast over the last few weeks. I’m married with two DC.
Anyway , there’s a little boy in my DS class who at pick up normally comes and sits next to DS on a little picnic bench. There’s a ten minute gap between his finishing time and my DD ( she’s 9). They usually have a snack whilst we wait for the older children to come out.
The little boys mum always seems to do all the school runs, atleast I’ve never seen anyone else do it.We are friendly ( ish) , but only ever have small talk, I don’t even know her name. But the children are friendly with eachother.
So I barley know her but she seems pleasant enough.

She gets the bus to and from school, I often see her at the bus stop at the end of the day with her kids. This morning whilst driving to school , I saw her at the bus stop going to school , so I know what road she must live near.

I know she gets the bus home after doing the school run, again I often see her waiting for a bus. Would it be creepy to offer her a lift if I see her ? I mean if she’s obviously waiting for a us , to and from school, and I drive down her road anyway? It’s literally 3 mins in a car but about 10 or 15 on the bus.

I wouldn’t offer her a lift when she’s got her children , apart form anything, I wouldn’t have room. I simply mean if I see her at the bus stop and and going her way anyway . And right now it’s winter and cold.

So would she think I’m a creepy dad with an ulterior motive if I offered her a lift ? She would probably wonder how I know where she gets off ( again I randomly saw her this morning on my way to school)

Would my wife think it’s weird offering to drop a school mum off? I haven’t mentioned this to my wife for her opinion by the way.

So ladies form your perspective would in be odd to you if a school dad offered you a lift ? Would you think he was being over friendly? It just a bit creepy?

Or just a dad genuinely going your way anyway and just offering to be nice?..Would it be appropriate?

I don’t want her to feel awkward, and it’s not a permanent thing, just only if I happen to be there..but like I say will she think I’m after something?

I think it’s because she’s a woman, I’m happily married, she’s a single mother ( only just found this out bit not relevant ) and we’ve just become friendly. I’ve no ulterior motive to try and take anything further. I’m sure she doesn’t either.
Just I’m not an expert but on school gate politics and how rumours can spread , wrong messages can be relayed. It’s all quite new to me because previously I had very little experience with doing the school run. Yesterday we had a good chat about ourselves, nothing personal though or nothing inappropriate just general stuff.

Ive personally just enjoyed talking to her as a human being , it does pass the time whilst waiting for our kids to come out of school on what can be a real chore .

My original thread was about offering her a lift because I often see her at a bus stop and I go her way anyway. I told DW that I sometimes chat to ‘Olivias’ mum after school and I often drive past her at a bus stop and would she have minded if I gave her a lift. DW didn’t care, I also wouldn’t mind if she gave a school dad a lift anywhere.

Plus buses around here aren’t reliable! In terms of updates, I was also replying some of the comments on here, but I’ve always been an over thinker in most situations !

Op, in all kindness, I'm not quite sure why you're as obsessed as you are about this other school parent. You seem a little over fixated on her, and maybe have a thing for her (consciously or unconsciously). I think with all due respect you need to focus on your own family, and stop fixating on this woman who you don't even know the name of, who you have said more than once is single, and that you're "happily married." Who is it that you're trying to convince here? She could be going to work, or out somewhere, and may not even be going home.
I don't know where in the UK you are, but the weather has warmed up a bit. Nothing wrong with a man, and a woman being friends (you sound like acquaintances from what you said in one of your earlier posts), so I'm not quite sure why you're focusing so much on this.

A Dad at my son’s school offered me a lift in similar circumstances about 27 years ago, when I learnt to drive I repaid the favour, dropping his son home occasionally and it was often very useful for us both . Our sons are still good friends and I am still friendly with the chap and his wife. I’m glad you offered , I can’t tell you the difference it made to me , especially when it was raining !

I did this with a preschool mum who I used to see waiting for the bus after picking her DD up. I offered her a lift a few times and then over the following years right up to when the girls left for separate senior schools she treated me like her personal bloody chauffeur!

She never offered anything in return and often put me in situations that greatly inconvenienced me and made me feel really bad when I had to decline.

Her daughter once had a small party and she told me that because she knows my DD does not like water ( fussy child ) could I provide her own carton of juice as she can't afford to provide it. After all the lifts and help I had given her I did raise my eyebrows. ( I also told my daughter to just drink the water!)

I was so glad to see the back of that women. The constant request for lifts wasn't her only entitled behaviour.

I love it when an acquaintance, whether male or female, offers me a lift when I'm waiting at the bus stop. It's never crossed my mind that it could be weird or creepy.

No! Don't start collecting kids of a person you don't know, you don' anything about her. It's a kind thought but definitely do not pick up children of a stranger. Why the hell would you?