Snack plates for dinner

[Goodnightelizabethgoodnight]

I'm sure it's just an older generation mindset of needing 3 hot square meals a day, but my gran was shocked ( 🙄 ) that my 3 year old had a snack plate for his dinner.

Plenty of nights we do have a hot meal together but I'd say at least once, sometimes twice a week, he happily sits and eats a little snack plate in front of the telly. He's been at nursery 9-3, outdoors for much of the time, he's tired, and he just wants to chill. I know the feeling myself! So after two helpings of curry with rice for his lunch at nursery I don't think it's a problem to have a snack plate for dinner.

He's having the same snack plate today as he did yesterday which has breadsticks, oatcakes, humous, salami, smoked cheese, raspberries, strawberries, chopped cucumber and peppers. He might have a small bowl of soup after too. Tbh I think he's living the best life with his little platter in front of the telly and I think it's great 😁

Breakfast was porridge, lunch was curry and rice, tomorrow for dinner we're having chicken risotto, and the next night we're having spaghetti bolognese.

Anyone else do the same with their kids?

Again that's salt central so personally that sort of meal is a one-off for me for my kids. But actually I'd quite like to live off just that myself!

I work in children's MH. It's important to foster communication channels when young.

@Hoppingabout by "one off" how often?
Once a week? Month? Year?

@Hoppingabout

Dear god never soup away from the table! He didn't have soup in the end but he definitely comes to the table for that. Definitely no soup or porridge or anything like that away from the table. The only time he doesn't eat at the table with us is when he sometimes has these little snack plates

Given that I don't cook with salt for any of the other meals I make him I don't see the harm in him having salt in things like some deli meats sometimes. We do need some salt in our diet after all.

Well, realistically never because I've got boys and they require a lot of feeding. A snack like that does not do the job. And I've always liked cooking for them and I'm careful about salt. But that's just my own setup so not casting shade on anyone else's lifestyles.

@crossstitchingnana

He never stops communicating. Sometimes it's nice to sit and watch a half hour of telly together after he's had a non stop day at nursery and I've had a non stop day at work. Watching tv shows and movies together is part of bonding.

What's the difference when we both have a cuddle on the couch together for half an hour and listen to stories on his Yoto player? Both are a half hour of silence in each others company in the middle of a day with so many other opportunities for engaging in conversation: playing together, walking to and from nursery, playing board games together, bath time, bedtime stories.

I used to do this when mine were little. LO's stomach is the size of his fist, they don't need massive portions, as long as hes eating healthy food and not eating in front of TV every night I wouldn't worry.

We used to do a movie and take out night on a Saturday and all sit and eat pizza in front of a movie. I also used to leave them to eat breakfast in front of cbeebies as it was the only way I could get ready for work.

It's a lot of salt in one go. Smoked cheese could be babybels instead for a start. His kidneys are only little. But not trying to give you advice obviously.

@Goodnightelizabethgoodnight I bet you are regretting mentioning telly now 😂
Mumsnet gets so weird about these things.
My daughter watched a lot of telly when young (also had a dummy until age 3 😱 and a forward facing buggy) but was talking in full conversational sentences at 22 months (I remember it was 22 months because we had gone to a clinic checkup and it was written in her red book).
Nothing wrong with TV.
(or a snack plate for tea)

@Hoppingabout ". But not trying to give you advice obviously."

🤣Obviously not!

Well...a bit perhaps. Although the OP is obviously not seeking advice on this thread.

@crossstitchingnana "I work in children's MH. It's important to foster communication channels when young"

But you apparantly have no issue with guilt tripping a parent whose child has supper with TV once a week after a busy day.

My son is 15 now and once a week will still ask for a 'plate of things'. I think it's nostalgic for him.

I think a plate of healthy nibbles can be as healthy and rounded a meal as any 2 hour cooking stint.

You don't always have to cook to eat well!

If you couldn’t care less what you do, what he does, why are you posting in AIBU? Oh, I know, it’s to boast how clever he is, how well he eats, etc etc. nothing to do with your fictional gran’s fictional shock. Well go ahead. Knock yourself out.

Define a 'proper dinner'

I would say this is as 'an appropriate amount of food according to appetite and ideally including protein and a significant contribution towards their five a day'.

Factors that are not relevant to whether it counts as 'a proper dinner'

Whether it is hot or cold.

Whether the food looks like a conventional 'cooked meal' such as roast dinner, curry and rice or lasagne and salad or if it's the sort of thing the OP is talking about, which is still meat, carbs and veg (and fruit).

The amount of food - not everyone gets on with eating not very much all day in anticipation of 'a main meal'. I eat usually 3 equally sized meals most days and often by the evening I don't want anything else. Most of these are hot. eg an omelette around 10/11 am, soup or leftover dinner at about 1/2 pm and sometimes something similar to what I had at lunchtime, because one day's dinner is the next day's leftovers by about 5/6 pm if I can. These are generally 'side plate' rather than dinner plate size.

My diet is far better than if I had more conventional food like cereal for breakfast, a sandwich and crisps for lunch and what most people define as 'a proper dinner'.

Healthy nibbles (if you must use that word) rather than high salt processed crap being the important thing. Unless it's a one off.

Cold chicken drumsticks and cold roasted new potatoes and cucumber and tomatoes for example. Doesnt need to be hot to be nutritious. You can cook the chicken and spuds in advance so you dont have to do anything if you dont want to cook in the evening. But that was my own boys who were very active and they burned through a lot of calories so I appreciate that a substantial supper might not be for everyone. But processed high salt stuff twice a week can be avoided perhaps. Although kids do love that! I'm a bit of a tightwad and wouldn't be forking out for swanky deli food.

I agree OP as long it’s not the norm then it’s absolutely fine especially after a long day at nursery they need a bit of time to just chill. And the TV is better than phones/tablets etc. people pretend “screen time” as it’s now called is a new thing and it is definitely more difficult to manage now a days that every person has a screen in their pocket at all times but it’s not really new. Back in the early 90s as a child, I vividly remember having lunch/ meals sitting on the floor with my mums little nest of tables in front of my eating a meal watching a Disney VCR. It wasn’t all the time or every day and I didn’t feel neglected or shoved in front of the TV it was just a nice treat! I seem to have turned out ok. As long as people as sensible it’s fine.

@BitOutOfPractice

If you couldn’t care less what you do, what he does, why are you posting in AIBU? Oh, I know, it’s to boast how clever he is, how well he eats, etc etc. nothing to do with your fictional gran’s fictional shock. Well go ahead. Knock yourself out.

Some posters on Mumsnet are truly bonkers. I didn't ask for opinions on him watching tv. People are free to give opinions on that but I don't care. What I did ask in the OP was whether anyone else did snack plate dinners for their kids after nursery. Do you want me to make up a fictional child who eats like shit and is completely gormless because he watches tv 24/7? This place is a mad house.

My gran, god love her thinks it's not an acceptable dinner. But she didn't even know what the humous was. I love her, but she's not got the most expansive tastes.

I didn't expect the tv to be the talking point 😬

@Hoppingabout

Sometimes it's Bavarian cheese, sometimes feta, sometimes edam or cheddar. We love cheese!

Do people think that food has more nutrition in it when it’s hot or something? I don’t understand the objections to this as long as the eater is satiated and the overall diet is balanced.

FWIW this is a staple in our house. It’s easy to hit the small-child favorite attributes: dippable, fun shapes, lots of options, separated elements, and maybe even on a stick. It’s good for kids to experience eating as fun and relaxing. We have a big family with a wide age range and two working parents so it’s just not possible to have a hot seated dinner with every child 7 days per week, and it’s definitely not the most impactful use of our time to force that.

Hot or cold or table or tv makes no difference. It's the nutritional value and salt content that matters if the child is so young and if you are doing it regularly. If it's a one off then houmous and breadsticks and salami for supper if you can get away with it are fine. If only life stayed so easy with growing active boys!!

I think partly it depends on the age of your gran.

Food isn't just 'fuel' it was a way to keep warm pre central heating.

She might not have had a fridge so a lot of the things that go on a snack plate would not survive for long eg the berries would need to be eaten within a few days or made into jam or a pudding.

And you don't have to be ancient to have not had a fridge, a friend lives in a 1960s block of flats, in his kitchen is an original cold cupboard.

Also hot meals does not necessarily mean substantial things like beans on toast were common as a family meal when I was little.

breadsticks, oatcakes, humous, salami, smoked cheese, raspberries, strawberries, chopped cucumber and peppers.

Why do you keep mentioning nutrition and salt content over and over? There’s nothing to suggest the plays the OP served wasn’t perfectly balanced and not overloaded on salt.

@Hoppingabout my teens still do cold bits for dinner fairly often but the snack plate has definitely been replaced with party trays 😂

My comment about the hot/cold was in reference to the specific grandmother objection that OP posted about. Grandma wasn’t fussing about sodium content in specific cheese varieties, it was about it not being a cooked dish.