Am I talking to my baby correctly?

[DeedlessIndeed]

I am really aware of the impact that interacting with your baby has on their development. I've got a 6 month old DD. As she gets older though, the more I'm second guessing myself on how I should be interacting with her.

So at the weekend, my sister was visiting. DD was on the floor on her playmat with a little toy plane she likes.

I was sat next to DD and saying things like "do you like the wheels on the plane? They go around. The plane needs those for take-off and landing on the runway." Then when DD dropped the plane or shook it violently I'd say "Oh watch out for the turbulence" or "poor passengers, they'll have a headache". That kind of thing.

My sister asked why I was saying things like this. Her thoughts were that you should speak more slowly, use more questions and avoid confusing DD with language that isn't that important for a 6 month old. So instead of words like runway, take-off or turbulence use words that refer to daily habits such as eating, sleeping etc, or higher frequency words like high vs low, soft vs hard, big vs small.

I brushed it off at the time, but after a quick google it does seem to be that DSis might be right? I'm now second-guessing myself.

Does anyone have any advice? Interacting with babies doesn't come naturally to me, but I really want to do best for my baby.

You're both massively overthinking things. Talk to your baby in whichever way you like.

Your little chatter with your baby sounds lovely. Don’t overthink it - just keep interacting with her. You’re doing amazingly.

Obviously she’s not going to learn the word turbulence any time soon but there’s plenty of time to teach her new words.

You’re both right.
The more variety she’s exposed to, the better.

Don’t worry so much about the vocabulary. Think about eye contact, responsiveness and tone.

Babies do a call and response. Your sensitivity to that is way more important than which words you use.

By don’t worry, I mean neither is wrong.

Doesn't sound like your sister will be raising a pilot.....

I don't think you are being technical enough. At 6 months you should be introducing the idea of airspeed, headwind and thrust.

😂

OP, I stick with what I said before- talk in whichever manner you like. Don't overthink it.

However, at 6 months (and beyond) she'll respond better developmentally by acting out things with the plane. Make it fly around her, make aeroplane noises, "nyyyeeeow!", say "up up up up up!" and "down down down down!" while changing the pitch and speed of your voice, sing aeroplane songs- there are aeroplane nursery rhymes, or just make them up, play around with anticipation- rev the plane up, hold back, make eye contact, and then make it go fast "woooosh!" She'll come to sense what's going to happen and giggle. Use repetition and lots of noises for sound effects.

So yeh you're both right, and wrong!

Thanks everyone,

I explained to DSis that I wasn't trying to teach DD those words per se, but more if I had to just say "the plane goes up, the plane falls down" I'd be bored stiff.

Like I say, I'm not a natural, so I just think of anything in the moment that I can say about a toy plane, about the duck in the park, about Mummy's sandwich etc. And because I feel a bit of a plonker is probably why I'm doubting what I am doing. Maybe I just need to roll with it!

Thanks @myplace , will keep in mind the eye contact - I'm probably guilty of that which makes my rambling more like background noise now I think about it.

@Yourethebeerthief - this is really useful - Thank you!

The plane goes up and the plane goes down is boring. You need to be playing with your voice, intonation, speed, rhythm. Learn some
Nursery rhymes.

You don't have to play like this constantly. Just get on with your day and blether away all you like, in whichever way you like. It's fine to just chat any old nonsense with babies. It's all good.

Your sister should also mind her own business. It's a weird thing to comment on. Just crack on with what you're doing. Your child is wired to pick up language whatever you do.

This. There's not going to be any better response.

You sound like you're doing great, narrating whatever is happening around her. Don't over think it or start doubting yourself! Don't take it too seriously, make it fun, silly and sing song.
When she's eating or sleeping you can use eating and sleeping words, when you're playing with a plane just say whatever you like, she'll have a fantastic vocabulary no doubt!

Don’t over think this.

I chatted to my babies normally and at a normal volume (I have friends to used to feel it necessary to shriek at theirs). I never used a sing-song voice or baby-talk.

Both of mine were precocious with speech and were talking a lot by 12 months. My 2 year old niece is barely talking at all. She’ll catch up in her own time.

It’s talking to them full stop that's important, so don’t worry about how you do it. Do whatever comes naturally to you. Just wait until she’s a bit older and she asks you to explain all your fascinating aircraft chat in more detail and you need to take a mini degree in thermodynamics via Google in under 5 mins. They have so. Many. Questions. 🙂

I talked absolute bollocks to both of mine, sometimes the way you described, sometimes the way your sister described, but always just talking. Sometimes I even used a baby voice! It's the talking that's important, really.

(They're 10 and 6 now with excellent vocabularies... and neither of them ever shut up!)

I used to read stories and other literature that was way above my sons ability it was just so I had something vaguely interesting to read at bedtime , mostly it’s just the time you spend with them and your bond and connection that is important
at this age I would push my kids in pram and witter on about any bollocks they just like your attention

You're doing fine - chatter away about anything, lots of eye contact and interaction is the key. 6 months is a good age for peek a boo, babies love it and it teaches the beginnings of conversation etc
https://www.bbc.co.uk/tiny-happy-people/articles/zqntxbk#:~:text=This%20fun%20game%20stimulates%20baby's,happiness%20when%20you%20suddenly%20appear.

Soon you'll be holding entire conversations by blowing raspberries! It's ALL good for them. Your love, time and attention is what makes the magic happen, rather than the specific words.

Sometimes I sing Old MacDonald to my LO... Sometimes I say something ridiculous like "Can you say p-p-p-pylon?" Because that's what we just walked past, not because I think LO will say it ANY time soon. Babies love looking at your mouth when you say things.

Talk as comes naturally to you. You don't need to over think it.

Though like others say peekaboo is fun!

I think your chattering sounds fine babies soak up language before they start talking themselves and I wouldn’t avoid more complex vocabulary with her at all just keep talking and once she starts talking to you it is amazing how quickly their vocabulary builds up

Have a look for Dan wuori on twitter and blue sky. He's excellent at showing videos that demonstrate ways you can help your baby develop - what's important and what's not.

The talk is to entertain yourself more than anything do whatever works for you. I quite enjoyed learning nursery rhymes in different languages via YouTube.

I read 1984 to DD at that age, not for her benefit obviously but it is now her favourite book and she does have a love of dystopian fiction so who knows....and I learnt loads about trains reading Thomas to her, there is lots of technical, specialist railway vocabulary in those books.

Once she can clap though do start signing with her. It's an absolute game changer, make up your own / use Makaton with it's simpler hand shapes or proper BSL. DD hardly ever tantrumed as she could communicate exactly what she wanted and was signing in sentences long before she could say the words. Signing and motor skills use a different part of the brain, speech is a very complex skill and comes much later.

I remember being at a SureStart toddler group (when such wonderful things existed) and telling DD how diligently she was working, that caused a few raised eyebrows and someone asked why on earth I'd use that word when they were all telling their children how beautiful they were etc which is just as complex a word.

Babies need attention, exposure to words, tone and facial expression however you do that is upto you.

You're both doing wonderfully if you care so much about doing the right thing! As a PP said - the "call and response" pattern is really key more than actual vocabulary. So during the course of a normal day, have time where you're holding a conversation (of sorts!), giving plenty of time for your child to "respond" (this could be noises or movements). That back and forth is really great for their speech and language development.

So in your example, you say:
"do you like the wheels on the plane?"
(Leave a pause for DC to "respond")
Etc. your level of language and chatter sounds perfect. And if you're building on those opportunities for them to respond, even better! Doesn't have to be constant. Just little bursts throughout the day.

I think you’re both right?
Use the phrasing you are already using to expose her to greater vocabulary but also incorporate quick one/two word phrases like “wow, so high” “oh dear, it crashed” etc.
Young children respond to higher pitcher voices quicker as well.
If you can’t get the attention of a 3/4 year old by calling their name, try it in a high pitched sing-song type voice and it’ll catch their attention first time… magic 😂

My husband talks to our baby about the technicalities of videography and which lighting rig he’s going to use for his next shoot. He does it in a singsong voice which appears to make the topic utterly engrossing for DD.