35 month old not going to bed

[boomshakaboom]

We put our 35 month old to bed at 6.30/7 but after we have left the room she very regularly will then get up again and play alone in her room for hours- 9.30/10 not uncommon (she is still up now). We have trained her not to leave her room and disturb us so it isn't too disruptive but I'm beginning to worry we are really sleep deprive her, or it is somehow a bit abnormal that she is so independent. Or are we just lucky?

If you go to her when she cries I don't see an issue with the playing alone but it's a very long time. I think a later time is needed :)

I think that’s cruel and neglectful to leave her in her room that early when she’s clearly wide awake for another 3 hours or so. Seems you just want to get rid of her .

She's playing alone in the dark for 3 hours? 1830 is ludicrously early for bed.

She's 3. You still need to parent her.

35 month old.
3 year old.

6:30 would be too early for most 3 year olds and the thought of a child that age playing alone in their room for 3 hours is utterly depressing. And trained her not to disturb you? WTF.

6:30???? Come on !

As a child I always stayed in my room after I was put to bed. I didn't wander about or make a fuss. However I would not go to sleep - I stayed awake purposefully until my parents came to bed, as I was worried they were going to run away and leave me. I was so relieved when they came upstairs to bed as it meant I could relax enough to go to sleep!

They would have said I was perfectly happy, but I was stressed and anxious.

You're neglecting her. That's despicable. 3 hours!!! Bloody parent her.

Yeah it's really sad

Doesn't sound like too much of a problem on the face of it, but I'd worry that she might start doing it in the middle of the night/at 5am - with my kids this sort of thing could be a slippery slope! I'd try a later bed time and fewer toys in her room and see if that helps - at this age it might be best to try and keep the bedroom as a place for rest.

You're putting her in bed too early.

I find it really sad that she's playing on her own for hours. I can't imagine how you 'trained' her to do this. It's normal for 2/3 year olds to need their parents.

OP’s getting an unreasonably hard time here - bedtime at this age could be anywhere from 6.30 to 8 and it’s a judgment call but nobody realistically is going to be playing and interacting with their 3 year old at 9 or 10pm they just need to be left to fall asleep. Nothing wrong with them being left in their room where else are they going to fall asleep? Sounds like it could be time to drop the nap.

I think that's too late for a 3 year old to be up every night. My 10 year old is usually asleep by 9pm, maybe 10 rarely at the weekend.

6.30 is quite early though- maybe she's not tired enough at bedtime and is then distracting herself playing instead of going to bed. It's a lot of responsibility for a 3 year old to decide when they've done enough playing and should go to sleep now.

Why don't you try shifting her bedtime to 7/7.30 so she's actually sleepy going to bed. I'd also be going back in and telling her it's bedtime now after half an hour if she's getting up again.

No theres definitely something wrong with locking a child in a room knowing they are awake for 3 hours sometimes more and not engaging with them at all. It’s incredibly weird behaviour.

I’m 570 months old- I find if I go to bed too early I tend to wake up and can’t go to sleep until way later.

My 212 month old has the same issue… maybe try putting your 35 month old to bed a bit later?

Aside from the OP, can I ask about all the consternation about a 6.30 bedtime? My 3yo is hysterical with exhaustion by then (she goes to nursery and gets really tired) and if I keep her up later, she's often up during the night.

Am I doing the wrong thing putting her down so early?

Obviously not, because she’s tired and she goes to sleep at that time. If she was still awake and playing 3 hours later, would you carry on insisting on putting her to bed at 6.30pm?

The comments haven't disappointed 🤣🤣🤣

Gosh, my 76 month old will call me when he's not able to sleep after 10 mins in bed!

Yes!

I did it for us all!
Me - 494 months
DH - 567 months
DS - 168 months
DDog - 132 months (but about 9745 in dog months)

Aside from that - yeah you're neglecting your 3 year old.

my 52 month old is a pickle to put to bed at the moment!!!

People are talking about a child who gets out to bed at 6:30 and doesn’t sleep for 3 more hours. If your child is sleeping at 6:30 and it works for you then it’s obviously fine.