I need opinions - am I a terrible mother for this???

eynjln · 2025-01-29T17:58:44+00:00

I was careless today and I can’t stop thinking about it and can’t find anything similar online DD turns two in a couple of months. We live about a two minute walk away from the local shop, and DD loves walking. She hadn’t had much fresh air due to being at childcare, so we walked there together hand in hand to buy dinner. There’s only one road to cross, and it’s a side street so very quiet very rarely any cars or people. she has a habit of throwing a tantrum when she realises we’re returning home. Today we were about 10metres from our house and she threw herself on the floor and I couldn’t get her up (the classic straightening/bending her body to make it difficult). I thought to myself, once she realises she has dirty hands she will freak out (she hates dirt) and it will teach her why she has to always hold my hand and walk. So I stood and waited right beside her, and she was on her hands and knees. Within about 5-10 seconds of that a man walked passed and made a comment about how I’m letting my daughter crawl on the concrete (she had moved about 3cm in that 5-10 second time) and I responded “oh it’s nothing hand washing can’t fix” thinking he was just being annoying. And then after I picked her up and carried her home, I started thinking about how there could’ve been glass on the floor, or a whole manner of things, and she could’ve hurt herself or gotten sick and now I can’t stop thinking about it and I feel so guilty and stupid that I didn’t even think about what she could’ve put her hands in has anything like this happened to you? I feel so so bad can’t find anything like this online

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 29/01/2025 18:01

Don’t feel bad. You did nothing wrong. That man was just being annoying. I think it’s great you didn’t pander to the tantrum. If there was something obvious you wouldn’t have let her do it and quite honestly the so called glass would have been there if she had thrown herself down in the first place.

Give yourself a break and move on.

Bunkbedbunk · 29/01/2025 18:03

I don't think you've done anything wrong. You were right beside her and would have seen anything on the ground

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/01/2025 18:03

Assuming you could see the floor I don’t think there is anything to worry about here…. It’s true there could be tiny tiny shards of glass but even if there are it’s unlikely to do harm. Obviously it’s dirty but dirty hands was the aim.

TallNeckedGiraffe · 29/01/2025 18:04

Many moons ago my child picked up what I thought was a stone. He carried it home and carefully placed in on the back door step. About an hour later I went to pick it up and put it on the flower bed. It was only then I realised it was a dried up dog shit.
There was no internet in those days so no way to freak myself out. He was absolutely fine.

tonyhawks23 · 29/01/2025 18:04

You did nothing wrong.i hate it when people do that.you are right hand washing would be fine,you'd have seen glass.

Skeldale · 29/01/2025 18:05

I think you're going to have a lifetime of being worried sick if you are dwelling on this. Seriously this is one minor incident in a day and there are 1000s of days to come. No harm was done so try and move on.

greenblueredyellowviolet · 29/01/2025 18:06

I don't think you did anything bad at all. You're just overthinking!

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:08

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 29/01/2025 18:01

Don’t feel bad. You did nothing wrong. That man was just being annoying. I think it’s great you didn’t pander to the tantrum. If there was something obvious you wouldn’t have let her do it and quite honestly the so called glass would have been there if she had thrown herself down in the first place.

Give yourself a break and move on.

Ok that’s true. Thank you. Since becoming a mother I’m always paralysed by thinking the worst that could happen from any scenario and I couldn’t find if anyone else had done this and felt awful. I will try to calm down

OP posts:

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:09

TallNeckedGiraffe · 29/01/2025 18:04

Many moons ago my child picked up what I thought was a stone. He carried it home and carefully placed in on the back door step. About an hour later I went to pick it up and put it on the flower bed. It was only then I realised it was a dried up dog shit.
There was no internet in those days so no way to freak myself out. He was absolutely fine.

Thank you 😂 this makes me feel better that your child was ok after that as I was also concerned about dog pee/poo!

OP posts:

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:09

Skeldale · 29/01/2025 18:05

I think you're going to have a lifetime of being worried sick if you are dwelling on this. Seriously this is one minor incident in a day and there are 1000s of days to come. No harm was done so try and move on.

Thank you you’re right

OP posts:

BendingSpoons · 29/01/2025 18:11

I let my young DC crawl in the park when we lived in a flat. The pavement is no worse than the park. Wash her hands (sure you have already!) and put it out your mind.

ThatMerryReader · 29/01/2025 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tipperttruck · 29/01/2025 18:13

What a dick that bloke was. Seriously what a massive busybody unhelpful arse of a man.

itsgettingweird · 29/01/2025 18:14

TallNeckedGiraffe · 29/01/2025 18:04

Many moons ago my child picked up what I thought was a stone. He carried it home and carefully placed in on the back door step. About an hour later I went to pick it up and put it on the flower bed. It was only then I realised it was a dried up dog shit.
There was no internet in those days so no way to freak myself out. He was absolutely fine.

😂😂😂

I'm with everyone else. You could see the pavement. She made a choice to crawl and she has to learn actions have consequences.

And I know if you'd have seen someone's vomit, a broken glass bottle or a pile of dog shite you'd have reacted differently.

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:17

Tipperttruck · 29/01/2025 18:13

What a dick that bloke was. Seriously what a massive busybody unhelpful arse of a man.

That’s what I thought too at first and then once I’d left I started freaking out! I’m really glad people agree

OP posts:

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:17

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

That’s certainly how I feel! Won’t be doing it again I’ve learned my lesson

OP posts:

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:17

itsgettingweird · 29/01/2025 18:14

😂😂😂

I'm with everyone else. You could see the pavement. She made a choice to crawl and she has to learn actions have consequences.

And I know if you'd have seen someone's vomit, a broken glass bottle or a pile of dog shite you'd have reacted differently.

Show quote history

Thank you that’s very true

OP posts:

Rainingalldayonmyhead · 29/01/2025 18:19

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:08

Ok that’s true. Thank you. Since becoming a mother I’m always paralysed by thinking the worst that could happen from any scenario and I couldn’t find if anyone else had done this and felt awful. I will try to calm down

Show quote history

You’re good!!!!

Kids will test you and things will happen and every situation won’t be perfect. Just keep doing what you’re doing.

And remember looking back and staying in a place where you spiral about the things you should have done or should have changed won’t ever help as you can’t ever change the past. So say to yourself ‘next time when this happens I’m going to …’

Forward positive thinking . You got this!

Midnightlove · 29/01/2025 18:20

I don't think you did anything wrong. However I would have just picked up the child and carried her home

Echobelly · 29/01/2025 18:22

That man was being an idiot, Jesus, crawling on some concrete isn't going to do any harm.

I used to get very het up about comments from random people and feeling upset they might think I was a bad person or something, until i realised I'd probably never see them again, we wouldn't recognise each other if we did and they probably forgot about the whole encounter 2 minutes later.

PagodaOak · 29/01/2025 18:37

You didn’t do anything wrong. That man was a complete tool for saying that. He’s probably never had kids himself or he’s forgotten what it’s like to
have a toddler.

A couple of months ago, my son ( coming up to 2 years old at the time) and I were walking on the beach when he plonked himself down on some of the pebbles, he was quite happy playing with the stones. It was a beautiful sunny, blue sky, but cold day and I thought I’d take a pic of him, as it was a nice moment. A miserable weasel of a man walked past on the promenade & said ‘you’re cruel you are, making a baby sit down on the cold stones, all for a picture’
I replied ‘oh, give over, he literally sat there on his own, he’s got a snow suit on, I think he’ll be just fine, thanks’ then I laughed at the absurdity of his comment. He walked off muttering something to himself about ‘photo ops’ or something, I was going to shout after him but decided against it, people like that are miserable fools & not worth my time.

Topseyt123 · 29/01/2025 18:37

He was being a judgemental twat. Ignore it and move on. You didn't do anything wrong.

He's quite probably an arse to live with too, for whichever unfortunate person/people he is with.

theduchessofspork · 29/01/2025 18:40

Kids are playing around on the ground all the time, if you worried about that you’d have to keep her indoors.

I’m slightly puzzled as to why you can’t pick her up just cos she’s doing the stiff thing - if she’s two she’s pretty tiny? (This isn’t a criticism, I’m just curious)

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 18:58

PagodaOak · 29/01/2025 18:37

You didn’t do anything wrong. That man was a complete tool for saying that. He’s probably never had kids himself or he’s forgotten what it’s like to
have a toddler.

A couple of months ago, my son ( coming up to 2 years old at the time) and I were walking on the beach when he plonked himself down on some of the pebbles, he was quite happy playing with the stones. It was a beautiful sunny, blue sky, but cold day and I thought I’d take a pic of him, as it was a nice moment. A miserable weasel of a man walked past on the promenade & said ‘you’re cruel you are, making a baby sit down on the cold stones, all for a picture’
I replied ‘oh, give over, he literally sat there on his own, he’s got a snow suit on, I think he’ll be just fine, thanks’ then I laughed at the absurdity of his comment. He walked off muttering something to himself about ‘photo ops’ or something, I was going to shout after him but decided against it, people like that are miserable fools & not worth my time.

Oh my gosh that’s awful! So sorry that happened to you I would’ve been absolutely livid!

OP posts:

Original poster

eynjln · 29/01/2025 19:10

theduchessofspork · 29/01/2025 18:40

Kids are playing around on the ground all the time, if you worried about that you’d have to keep her indoors.

I’m slightly puzzled as to why you can’t pick her up just cos she’s doing the stiff thing - if she’s two she’s pretty tiny? (This isn’t a criticism, I’m just curious)

I stupidly had forgot a bag, so in one arm I was carrying two ingredients for dinner and was struggling to get her onto her feet. And as in the moment what was going through my mind was “oh well it’s fine the only consequences of her wanting to be on the floor is getting her hands or clothes dirty, and she hates dirt which will teach her why we don’t lie on the floor outside”, I thought it was fine. And then it was only after I managed to carry her I started thinking about how bad it was, and if I’d had the thought of the glass etc at the time I would’ve dropped my shopping to pick her up

OP posts: