If your baby was also a terrible sleeper...

[newbie12345678]

...I'm talking waking every 1-2 hours through then night still at 9 months...

When did their sleep improve, and why? I feel like we've tried so many things - are they one day just going to sleep better of their own accord or is that wishful thinking? If so, when?

Would just be interesting to hear from other people whose babies were bad sleepers at this stage how long it lasted for them. And I mean...how long it was really bad for. I would happily wake 2 or 3 times a night for the next two years IF that was all it was going to be. At the moment we're up anywhere from 5-10 times a night.

Grateful for your experiences!

Please can you explain how you night weaned? Don't know where to start with this.

My son was an awful sleeper. He slept great for 6 months, then it went to sh*t. I breast fed him exclusively and spent so long scouting the internet feeling manic through lack of sleep looking for answers. I made a mistake one day that I knew I only made because of sheer sleep deprivation and it scared me so much, I ended breastfeeding feeding when he was 2.5 years old, I had wanted to for a while and it’s what I needed in order to just be decisive and do it. I also changed the sleeping arrangements in my house, my husband moved to the spare room and my son would wake and come into bed with me so we could all get loads more sleep. Sort of accepting that it was what we all needed in order to function better each day helped everyone in the house.
I had felt overwhelmed with the internet / social media using the algorithms to stalk me with ‘sleep experts’ (all at a price!) when I was exhausted and vowed to just give my son the physical closeness he clearly still needed and that he would just grow out of it eventually. He sleeps in his own bedroom now since 3 and really doesn’t need me as much. I really don’t regret responding to him in the ways I did, but don’t knock anyone with the choices they make as to how to manage it. I’m just giving another pov that you aren’t ’making a rod’ by just leaning into your child’s need, it does just naturally happen.

We did a gradual method of night weaning.

I set a minimum gap between feeds (I started at about 1hr 30 minutes as it was that bad!). If he woke up earlier then we did anything except feed him to comfort him. After 1 hr 30 I would feed him. After 3 days I increased the time to 1hr 45 minutes. I then gradually added 15 minutes every 3 days.

In addition we did gradual retreat. For the first three nights we did anything except feed him to get him to fall asleep. For example singing, rocking, etc. Of course this involved crying but I was giving him comfort. After 3 days we would hold him but not rock him. After 3 days I would sit on the floor next to the cot and comfort him. After 3 days I would sit next to the cot. Then sit near the cot and then every 3 days we would move further and further away.

I did not rigidly stick to the three days but it seemed to work. If he was poorly or we were away from home I might take a step or two backwards. Then just move forwards again when ready.

@Superscientist - ah, this is really helpful- thank you. So sorry your DD suffers with it so badly. Ours is on 10mg but that's the same dose she's been on since 8 weeks and she's 9 months now! I've been wondering if she might need a higher dose but it's hard to tell if her reflux is still affecting her. She used to writhe around and it was very obvious she was in discomfort but she doesn't do that anymore since being on the meds. I do wonder if her dose needs to go up - but then I wonder how I would know if she even still needs it at all!?

My daughters symptoms have evolved with time. Her reflux was pretty good when she stopped gaining weight between 7 and 13 months. As soon as she started putting on weight again it came back and she started waking every hour desperate for milk. We thought she was hungry at first and gave her more but she then had 25oz one night and desperate for more like she hadn't been fed at all. I read about comfort feeding to ease reflux and the penny dropped. She had been on 20mg omperazole gaviscon and domperidone but we had got her down to just omperazole. We ended up back on all of it and the domperidone dose needed increasing twice to get it back under control. It took 3-4 months to get her sorted again.

When her reflux is impacting her sleep she likes to lie on top of me and often uses my face as a pillow just trying to be more upright.

It might be worth a chat with your GP to see if trialling a higher dose will help with sleep.

You were asking when it got better, I don't know but it did

DD didn't sleep through until she was 2 but it got better before then

What did I do? I did nothing, or rather I continued to be responsive to her

She still does not reliably sleep through unless she is sleeping with me or someone else, she's about to turn 4

All these sleep regressions but if your child never slept well then there is no regression, it’s just more of the same.

About 18 months we went from hourly wakes to just 4-5 times a night. They didn't sleep through until 3 and a half, and I'm up at 5am this morning with 5 year old who has decided the day has.started.

My bad sleepy still wakes 4-5 times a night
I I don’t think it’s anything you do or don’t do as I did exactly the same with my second and they sleep through and have don’t since 2. They only woke once after 9 months.
Both bf and both have CMPA

My DS was a horrible horrible sleeper with averaging around 12 wakes a night. Still not great at 3 with 2 or 3 wakes a night but I can live with that and I feel like my sanity has returned.

It started getting significantly better at around 2 years. By 2 1/2 he was at around 2 wakes a night regularly.

We breastfed but stopping it made no difference. We started giving breast and formula form around 10 months and he stopped breastfeeding by himself at 15 months. It had 0 impact on his sleep habits.

Around 11 months old I moved from cosleeping to toddler bed. Bf and rolled off and she began sleeping longer stretches. Preferred a duvet and high tog sleep suit

Ps mine was hourly before that and built up to 4hrs and then just got better thank fuck as I was honestly on the edge. I still don't sleep well now years later

Me eldest I did nothing and she never slept through the night till four and a half. Second she was around three. When my third got to 9 months I was exhausted so started following the baby whisperer technique and he was sleeping through within a couple of nights.

Just thought I should come on here and post an update for anyone searching in the future...

In the end, after reading all these really helpful replies we decided to take on a sleep consultant. Well, for us at least, it was the best money we have ever spent.

On the first night she went from waking every 45 mins to sleeping 8 hours solid (!) and on the third night she slept for over TWELVE hours. I can't even believe I'm writing this.

Let's hope it continues but it's given us our sanity back and some hope. I know it's not for everyone as it does involve some sleep training (in addition to other routine changes) but just sharing in case it's helpful for anyone else.

Got much better around 1. We co slept.

Hi @newbie12345678 could you dm me the name of the sleep consultant and a bit more about what you had to change please?

Great update @newbie12345678
How did you go about reducing night feeds in the end this is something I need to do.

Wow @newbie12345678 !!!! That's incredible. So pleased for you.

@newbie12345678 Ah, you can't just drop this without more info!!!

I appreciate it's a programme you're following, but could you share the main thing that helped?

I'm in the trenches right now. 13 wake ups last night :(

starlight26
Are you bf?
I did and looking at LOADS of research and speaking to/ reading loads of experiences on here and other forums, most bf babies are awful sleepers (most not all).

I stopped bf about 16 months and swapped for a bottle of formula instead of the usual night feed and that made a difference in that there were only 2 or 3 wales in the night.

I set up camp in mines bedroom from when they moved in around 7 months until they went into their toddler bed about 2 1/2 years old. Unfortunately mine still wake most nights now but only once each usually so mine have stayed terrible sleepers!

Honestly I would be happy to switch to formula at this point but she won't accept any type of bottle or cup! Did yours take easily to a bottle? Do you mind if I ask what kind you used?

So sorry only just seen this.

Mine wouldn't take a bottle for ages- probably around 10-12 months when it was nursery start time but even then it was more of a save themselves for a bf when they were back with me. That was with pumped breast milk.

By about 14 months my supply had gone right down and it was only a bedtime and in the night feed anyway. At the bedtime feeds I used to take a couple of ounces of the 12months + milk in a bottle and offer it after bf and after a couple of weeks they would drink it after bf then eventually they chose the bottle over the boob so it worked for me as I didn't stop the bf as such.

@Thesebloominhorses what was your approach to night wearing? Hoping to do this soon!

Oh wow! Well done! Was it an in person sleep consultant or an online one? If online can you message me their details?

I write this next to my 15month dd who is already up for the third time tonight, and she went to sleep at 8. Last night I couldn't get her to sleep until 10.30, but we did discover the corner of a back tooth poking through! She just wants a quick comfort feed all through the night, has done ever since she was born. I think her record was 3hrs asleep and that was only because she'd had piriton (for a rash). I've aged about 10 years in the last year and a quarter. I'd love some sleep. LOVE IT.

My son (11months old) was an awful sleeper from day 1 however 3 weeks ago we had to move his cot all the way to the bottom as he's started pulling himself up and almost climbed over the edge

Since then I can no longer rock him to sleep as u can't transfer him as it to far down. He's had to have the crash course in learning to put himself to sleep. What a difference it's made!! 2 days of horrible crying and he's suddenly gone from multiple wake up to zero.

Hi @Ann1991 how did you manage the transition? I will have to do this very soon and I am dreading it!

@Ek21 so I had been preparing for it but unfortunately he learnt to pull himself up a bit sooner than we thought he would. I was slowly reducing the amount of rocking and started patting his back instead hoping once I placed him down awake he'd associate patting with sleep. However I realised very quickly once his cot got moved down that any physical contact with me once he was in the cot just infuriated him.

Our routine went: nappy change, sleepsack on, close curtains, turn sound/light machine and switch main light off whilst giving him a cuddle. I'd then kiss his head and tell him it's time for sleep. No further talking or shushing (he's never liked it) I then place him down.

For the 1st few days I then sat next to the cot so he could still see me (pretty sure this was more for my benefit) the crying was intense, I won't sugar coat it, it was brutal to hear. Night 1 it took 3 hours, nap the next day 1 hour, night 2 30 minutes, nap the following day 15 minutes and now its a couple of minutes with no fuss at all, he just shuffles around to get comfy.

After a couple of days I started leaving the room as soon as I placed him down. From that 1st night he slept without waking up. I think he was so reliant on me rocking him that he could not resettle himself at all. He figured it out straight away. I can watch him on the monitor in the evening shuffling around and going straight back to sleep which previously would mean I had to go back and settle him again.

I cried a lot during the transition, it broke my heart to not pick him up when he cried. I felt like the worst mummy ever. What I have noticed is he is more cuddly during the day now which I love. I do not regret rocking him to sleep for as long as I did, I loved feeling him fall a sleep on me but I also can't help but think how much sleep I may not have lost if I did this sooner.