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Original poster

If your baby was also a terrible sleeper...

86 replies

newbie12345678 · 26/01/2025 22:07

...I'm talking waking every 1-2 hours through then night still at 9 months...

When did their sleep improve, and why? I feel like we've tried so many things - are they one day just going to sleep better of their own accord or is that wishful thinking? If so, when?

Would just be interesting to hear from other people whose babies were bad sleepers at this stage how long it lasted for them. And I mean...how long it was really bad for. I would happily wake 2 or 3 times a night for the next two years IF that was all it was going to be. At the moment we're up anywhere from 5-10 times a night.

Grateful for your experiences!

OP posts:
elenaf · 26/01/2025 23:41

My daughter started improving after 3, pretty good by 5. We read all the books, had a sleep consultant - everything. But it was so hard to be consistent with the routines that helped when the nursery bugs kept on coming. It was much better when she was old enough to reason with / bribe!

Babyboomtastic · 26/01/2025 23:56

My rubbish sleeper woke around 10 times a night from 6-18m. When tiny/newborn she slept ok. From 18m-2 she woke maybe 2-3 times a night and that was more manageable, though often one wake was for several hours.

At 2 she started sleeping through every night. That lasted for a few months and then she started waking again, but often only once when I'd be asleep. From there it's been a gradual trudge towards improvement, though a lot of that is because she's in my bed now, and sleeps better there. She's 5. Sometimes she still wakes and is awake for 2-3 hours in the middle of the night, but it's a few times a month now, not every night.

SlB09 · 27/01/2025 00:04

Same here,
By 18months it was about 3/4 times then by 2 it was 1 or two times, more if poorly etc. but still one or two times is enough to disturb your sleep and I still felt exhausted alllll the time.
He slept through consistently at 3.5 when we moved house. It's like we moved and he just started to sleep!
We'd tried EVERYTHING before this other than hardcore sleep training. I guess there was something but who knows. He's been a great sleeper since and I've felt human for a while now!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Babies & sleep Children's sleep Families
MumofSpud · 27/01/2025 07:15

My DS was a terrible sleeper - one time I got up 42 times (and then stopped counting!)
He also didn't sleep til past midnight.
Yes, he grew out of it (at about 4 years old) but this was over 20 years ago and I think nowadays we would have been more pro active at not accepting this as in doing more research / seeking second/third medical opinions etc! Any doctor we saw said he'd grow out of it. They were right but it was tough.
If it helps DD was a textbook baby and slept through the night v early on!

lorisparkle · 27/01/2025 07:51

I was on my knees when ds1 was 9 months old (waking every 1-2 hours). I had a visit from the health visitor and she recommended the book 'teach your child to sleep' by the millpond clinic.

We decided on two very gentle methods - 'gradual withdrawal' - to gently reduce nighttime feeding and 'gradual retreat' - to m stop feeding to sleep and to teach him how to self settle.

In about 3 months ds was sleeping 12 hours a night with 2 naps a day.

Superscientist · 27/01/2025 09:28

My 4 year old was up 5 times last night!

Reflux and allergies are the biggest cause of my daughters poor sleep. She's got a cold at the moment so that's upset her reflux and her sleep.

When her reflux was good after 10 months she only woke once or twice a night. At 2 she started sleeping through but only on very good nights. At 3 she had a massive reflux flare up and went back to waking every 45 minutes and only sleeping in my arms! Once that resolved sleeping through was her default waking only if there's a reason on there's recently been a reason. Unfortunately so many things impact her reflux. This has been the same when she was breastfeed, formula fed, oat milk fed and no drinks overnight!

LuckyOrMaybe · 27/01/2025 09:45

lorisparkle · 27/01/2025 07:51

I was on my knees when ds1 was 9 months old (waking every 1-2 hours). I had a visit from the health visitor and she recommended the book 'teach your child to sleep' by the millpond clinic.

We decided on two very gentle methods - 'gradual withdrawal' - to gently reduce nighttime feeding and 'gradual retreat' - to m stop feeding to sleep and to teach him how to self settle.

In about 3 months ds was sleeping 12 hours a night with 2 naps a day.

Similarly here, my eldest was reliant on being fed or at the very least held to get to sleep. At about 10 months I realised I had to do something and mentally cleared several days to focus on that alone. A gradual retreat approach helped her learn to fall asleep without being held and that improved the night wakings instantly - they need to be able to stir into light sleep/drowsy awake, and then fall asleep again if they don't need something from you.

Mind you, as many have already described, she continues to be a poor sleeper, but that needs less parental involvement apart from hot chocolates in the middle of the night now and then as a teenager. She's at uni now and can deal with it herself :)

Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 09:58

Ah thank you so much for all these replies. All so helpful.

It's nice to hear from other people whose babies were bad sleepers as I feel like people who haven't experienced it just don't "get it".

Also good to just set expectations and a few ideas to try as well!

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:00

Superscientist · 27/01/2025 09:28

My 4 year old was up 5 times last night!

Reflux and allergies are the biggest cause of my daughters poor sleep. She's got a cold at the moment so that's upset her reflux and her sleep.

When her reflux was good after 10 months she only woke once or twice a night. At 2 she started sleeping through but only on very good nights. At 3 she had a massive reflux flare up and went back to waking every 45 minutes and only sleeping in my arms! Once that resolved sleeping through was her default waking only if there's a reason on there's recently been a reason. Unfortunately so many things impact her reflux. This has been the same when she was breastfeed, formula fed, oat milk fed and no drinks overnight!

This is very interesting as my DD has silent reflux, for which she takes omeprazole. Can I ask how you know for sure that reflux wakes her, does she tell you that it hurts? Poor little things Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:00

lorisparkle · 27/01/2025 07:51

I was on my knees when ds1 was 9 months old (waking every 1-2 hours). I had a visit from the health visitor and she recommended the book 'teach your child to sleep' by the millpond clinic.

We decided on two very gentle methods - 'gradual withdrawal' - to gently reduce nighttime feeding and 'gradual retreat' - to m stop feeding to sleep and to teach him how to self settle.

In about 3 months ds was sleeping 12 hours a night with 2 naps a day.

Ok I might look into this book! Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:04

MumofSpud · 27/01/2025 07:15

My DS was a terrible sleeper - one time I got up 42 times (and then stopped counting!)
He also didn't sleep til past midnight.
Yes, he grew out of it (at about 4 years old) but this was over 20 years ago and I think nowadays we would have been more pro active at not accepting this as in doing more research / seeking second/third medical opinions etc! Any doctor we saw said he'd grow out of it. They were right but it was tough.
If it helps DD was a textbook baby and slept through the night v early on!

May I ask if your DD was breast or formula fed? I genuinely feel like if I had a second baby I would be tempted to formula feed as in my experience it seems it's the breastfed babies who have such terrible trouble sleeping. I'm not ideologically wedded to one method of feeding, personally, but I know people have strong views about this...

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:05

Thesebloominhorses · 26/01/2025 23:35

At around 13 months when I decided to night wean I’m afraid. I had to go back to work and was barely coping with day to day stay at home mum stuff, with the lack of sleep.

Night weaning took 3 nights. And then she slept from 8pm until 6am. I regretted not doing it 6 months earlier because the sleep deprivation spoiled my maternity leave and I lost a years enjoyment of her older sister too.

it didn’t affect my breastfeeding journey. I continued to breastfeed until she self weaned at 30 months

This is really helpful, thanks. I really want to night wean but she just cries until I feed her! Can I ask how you went about it? I know that feeding her every hour has got to be a big part of the problem.

OP posts:
Grizelofthechaletschool · 27/01/2025 10:06

DD2 was a terrible sleeper. At the age your little one is I remember going to a baby group and just crying with frustration that she’d been up 10(?) times the night before.

Just before 12 months when I was due to go back to work we had a little success with stopping the night feed right before bed. So instead of bath, stories and then breastfeed, we swapped it round so breastfeed was first. That seemed to help her at least go for a longer initial stretch. Then I guess by 2 she was up 2-3 times a night? By 3 she’d only slept through a handful of times. But then at 3.5 she just started doing it more regularly and she’s just turned 4 and is a pretty decent sleeper now. So I wish there had been a solution but really I’m afraid it was just time.

Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:08

starlight26 · 26/01/2025 23:19

Are you bf?
I did and looking at LOADS of research and speaking to/ reading loads of experiences on here and other forums, most bf babies are awful sleepers (most not all).

I stopped bf about 16 months and swapped for a bottle of formula instead of the usual night feed and that made a difference in that there were only 2 or 3 wales in the night.

I set up camp in mines bedroom from when they moved in around 7 months until they went into their toddler bed about 2 1/2 years old. Unfortunately mine still wake most nights now but only once each usually so mine have stayed terrible sleepers!

Honestly I would be happy to switch to formula at this point but she won't accept any type of bottle or cup! Did yours take easily to a bottle? Do you mind if I ask what kind you used?

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:08

NorthernGirl1981 · 26/01/2025 23:16

Out of sheer desperation when my son was 9 months old, I reached out to a sleep consultant.

It was the best thing I ever did!

Would you mind sharing the name of the consultant you used if you were happy with them?

OP posts:
Appleloafcake · 27/01/2025 10:10

Just to add to my post, co sleeping is how I've survived. Not for everyone as I now am still co sleeping with a 6 year old, but at least we're both sleeping which is the priority!

Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:10

2boyzNosleep · 26/01/2025 23:13

Currently 2.5yrs and still terrible. Not as terrible as the first 18 months.

Bedtime is 8:30/9pm, (any earlier-he just lies there quietly but doesn't sleep). Wakes up around 12:30/1am, then another 4 times after that. Awake for the day between 5:45-6:30am bright-eyed and bushytailed. Definitely needs a nap, if he misses his nap or it's too short, nighttime sleep is even worse.

There have been medical reasons for it though when be was a baby: CMPA, silent reflux, breastfeeding+++, sleep apnea due to huge tonsils (due to have them removed although it has improved by itself).

As he gets older though, I am starting to wonder if there's something else. His development is great, does well at nursery, he's pretty switched on... but he is very particular about certain things and has some small 'stimming' habits that by themselves are aged appropriate. Or he could just be a highly strung child that needs little sleep.

Never had any issues with DS1. I'm grateful for that as I know it's not me being too 'soft'. Some babies are different, like being crap sleepers.

It definitely helps to hear that there can be such variation between siblings, and that we're not necessarily doing anything wrong but that there are different kinds of babies!

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:11

Terribletwoos · 26/01/2025 23:11

DD is two and a half and still wakes up several times a night. She has never slept through the night.

DS on the other hand is five months, sleeps through the night, and will just go to sleep as soon as you put him in the cot with white noise.

Go figure 🤷‍♀️

Incredible. Were they both breastfed? I've become a bit miserable about breastfeeding as I'm sure it's contributing to her bad sleep but perhaps I'm wrong!

OP posts:
Nellyelephanty · 27/01/2025 10:13

First got out of that stage at 15 months. Second baby stopped that at around 9/10 months. Both just became better sleepers with time.
co slept with first, second preferred mainly cot

Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:13

TokyoSushi · 26/01/2025 22:56

Both of mine were utterly dire, think waking up to 8-10 times per night, I remember once looking that there was a clear stretch of pavement and then walking down it with my eyes closed I was that tired!

Honestly, you can do this and that, and I did alllllll the things, but the only answer for us at least was time. DS was less bad and started sleeping through regularly at around 18 months. Unfortunately DD was 3, but if it's any consolation they're 11 & 13 now and have been sleeping amazingly for years, this too shall pass!

This is what I have been starting to think. It's good to hear that time does just eventually help!

OP posts:
Original poster
newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:14

seelookhearboo · 26/01/2025 22:36

It improved at 12 months from every 2hrs to 3-4hrs (just waking once or twice at night was amazing! ) . Then continued until 2yrs, where sleeping through meant waking at 4/5am! Now DC6 still gets up at 6, I suppose he's just an early bird ! It did get better by itself i just went with it. When I stopped putting myself under pressure to "improve" things i felt so much less stressed

There's definitely something to be said for this! I guess it's kind of where I was going with the thread in general! Thank you Flowers

OP posts:
Superscientist · 27/01/2025 10:37

newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:00

This is very interesting as my DD has silent reflux, for which she takes omeprazole. Can I ask how you know for sure that reflux wakes her, does she tell you that it hurts? Poor little things Flowers

Show quote history

We can hear her bring up liquids and swallow it again. She will lie there and do it for hours. They suspect the reflux also triggers her to have regurgitation syndrome. So reflux causes her to bring it up then her body continues out of habit.
She also tells her tummy hurts but more often my tummy hurts the other day but now doesn't. She also has acid damage to her molars. Two have staining and one has a cavity. She sometimes chews on the refluxed liquids in her sleep.

Her reflux is quite stubborn to treat so she's always on the highest omperazole dose for her age, gaviscon and domperidone.

What dose of omperazole are you on and has it been adjusted recently?

NorthernGirl1981 · 27/01/2025 10:47

newbie12345678 · 27/01/2025 10:08

Would you mind sharing the name of the consultant you used if you were happy with them?

Show quote history

Of course, I will PM you.

Babyboomtastic · 27/01/2025 10:50

My terrible sleeper (the one above) was bf (and bottle refuser) , but my first was FF. She was pretty good as a baby, woke once or twice for a bottle. At 15m we decided to try and night wean her off the last bottle by watering it down. That worked but she still woke, only now it was 2+ hours rather than a 15m bottle and back to sleep.

There are reasons, but she's nearly 8 and still wakes most nights a few times. She sleeps worse now than she did at 6w old. It's bonkers.

So for us, whilst the BF baby's sleep was far worse, as they've become older I don't think it's made a difference.

Ek21 · 27/01/2025 13:30

Thesebloominhorses · 26/01/2025 23:35

At around 13 months when I decided to night wean I’m afraid. I had to go back to work and was barely coping with day to day stay at home mum stuff, with the lack of sleep.

Night weaning took 3 nights. And then she slept from 8pm until 6am. I regretted not doing it 6 months earlier because the sleep deprivation spoiled my maternity leave and I lost a years enjoyment of her older sister too.

it didn’t affect my breastfeeding journey. I continued to breastfeed until she self weaned at 30 months

Hi @Thesebloominhorses how did you phase out the night feeds? Baby is 9 months and I would love more sleep. Baby sleeps in our bed but does nap in her crib. Any advice would be great!