Hi all,
I am pregnant and my baby’s father and I have broken up. I have come to terms with this as time has gone by and I am in a mind frame of doing the best job at co parenting to benifit our child. He also has this mind frame and plans to be an active father.
Today my mother has spontaneously booked in a holiday for us in 2026 to Jamaica for two weeks. By this time baby will be 1 years old. As soon as she told me she wanted to do this I checked in with my baby father to check that he is ok with this. I explained where the hotel is and who will be there and date. A lot of my other family memebers will be there so this is a big family holiday. He said he wants our little one to have the best experience possible so he said yes!
However as we continued to talk he sounded disappointed and he mentioned he wanted to come to experience it too. I explained it is something I am not comfortable with. Personally speaking (I did not say this to him) I don’t want to pay such a large amount of money (3k!!) to not have a proper holiday and have to have him there. With so many family memembers around I will have a chance to relax and have fun, I know him being there will spoil this for me. I don’t view this holiday as something I am doing for the baby but for both of me and baby.
I did explain to him if he wants to take our child abroad after 1 years old he can and I will not block him from doing so as we need this to be mutual. We both love travelling so one rule can’t apply for one of us, but at the same time I wouldn’t want to join him it would be uncomfortable for me. I feel like it is a step too far, and I am trying my best to think of what coparenting things are fair but I feel like I need some boundaries atleast.
Also as this is a family holiday I know people will talk, about the fact we aren’t together but he’s here. He said never mind that but I just know It will just not be a comfortable experience for me. Am I being unreasonable?