To notify the school..?

[AllOpinionsAreMyOwm]

Checking through DC phone recently (school ask us to do this!) I came across text messages from my DC and one of their friends. Their friend speaks in some detail about their dad hitting and being generally abusive to their mum.

Felt uneasy but I haven't said anything; thought it's none of my business if between two adults.

Now DC friend has apparently not been at school for a few days. Asked DC why and DC wasn't sure but said the friend came in with a huge bruise.

Do I tell the school about the texts? WWYD?

Any adult who is genuinely concerned about the safety of a child should report it.

Yes, ring the school!

I'd be really concerned about this.

A girl at dd's school was being hit by her dm. I reported it to school and they reported it to ss. Be prepared for ds not to be able to keep his friend if his dps click where the info came from.
Ime.
The teen girl now has a baby. I hope ss are still hanging around.

It doesn't sound like they'll be learning anything they haven't already suspected.
Report it so you are adding pieces to the jigsaw. With absences and bruises they have a load of evidence to assign their concerns to already.

Yes please report. We all have a duty to promote the welfare of children. Sometimes it's hard to do but really necessary.

Screenshot the messages and report to school or direct to social services (the school can't do anything themselves and will only pass it on). It is harmful for a child to witness DV and will be taken seriously.

I think the school may suspect given the bruise, but they'd not know about the texts from DC to their friend.

that's so sad. take a photo of the text conversation on your phone as evidence.

Make an appointment with the school and take the phone in to show them so that they can see exactly what has been said and it’s not reported third hand. They probably already have this on their radar, but it will help them to build a clearer picture and decide what actions to take next. It’s no different to if you heard a neighbour screaming and sounds of a struggle - you’d call the police wouldn’t you?

I think you should tell the school you saw these messages, yes. It could help get the bastard done for DV. Could you also go with your son to his house to check he's alright? I guess that could be risky. But it's a scary situation. I hope they manage to get away from the abuser.

Yes, absolutely speak to the school. I did the same last year when my dc witnessed abuse while on a video call with a friend. The school were already involved because of previous incidents, but I hope it added to the picture. I simply put my concerns in writing to the head and DSL and sent by email. This was at primary, but DSL and form tutor perhaps if I knew them in secondary.

How is this even a question? Of course it needs reporting. ‘It’s between two adults’ is a cop out… it’s not two adults having a disagreement it’s one adult being physically abused by the other! The child then turns up with a bruise after a few days off. That can’t be ignored. If your wrong your wrong you’ll be kept anonymous but imagine your not wrong and stay quiet then mum child or both end up seriously hurt or worse

I agree with telling school.

i would also sit down with your child and explain what you have done and why and then tell them if anyone discloses anything like that to them again the it’s important to tell a trusted adult straight away

This shouldn't even need consideration, please do report. Go to the police if school don't act.

"Between two adults" ?
So it s ok for two adults to beat each other up...
No
Report

I can't believe you're sitting on this information OP. Screenshot the messages to your own phone before they get deleted by the friend that sent them and show the school TODAY.

Speak and email school (paper trail).
You can also contact the Safeguarding team at social services.
But please report it - this may be a piece of info amongst others concerns - like a jigsaw.

I did take photos of the messages and I have these on my camera roll because the friend asked my DC to delete it. I just didn't act on it at the time because from the messages, it sounded like the parents were in the process of getting divorced.

Please let school know
they can put support in for the child

one million percent yes report this. either to the school or directly to social services.

https://www.gov.uk/report-child-abuse-to-local-council

You should screenshot the messages and send them in FAO Safeguarding Officer. Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility and witnessing domestic violence is horrifically traumatic to the child - it isn't ok just because it's between two adults

I'm really starting to think we need to roll out Safeguarding training in all workplaces not just those working with children or vulnerable people. A bit like first aid training helps people in need both at and outside of work. This should be a very easy decision to make for anyone who is aware of a child experiencing any sort of DV.

To clarify, the messages from the child to DC say the mum was being abused (not the children). It is only recently with the child being off school and then appearing with a bruise that I became concerned it is not just the mum! 😔

But a child witnessing domestic abuse IS child abuse.

Also, whilst I know DV between adults is not ok, I wasn't sure social services got involved if children were not physically harmed. Sadly I have personal experience of this from a previous relationship with the father of my eldest children, although appreciate things may be different now.