Is this normal for 3.5 year olds diet or is she picky?

[TruffleMonkey]

She's my only one so I've nothing to compare her to, but we've taken the approach of just introducing her to what we eat & not making separate meals, but what she will actually eat has become pretty limited in the last 6-12 months.

Vegetable wise she will eat broccoli, peas, carrots and potatoes. Everything else is 'yucky' apparently! She eats berries, apples and bananas but no other fruit. She won't eat oranges or pear anymore which she used to love.

She loves pasta, but only with cheese or pesto. I couldn't make a pasta dish with any meat or vegetables in it because she would refuse to eat it. Only exception is lasagne.

She won't eat any meat unless its processed like chicken nuggets or sausages which we try not to have too much. Curries, stir frys, risottos etc are an absolute no as she likes to have things separate on her plate. She eat fish anymore (she used to love it inclusing salmon and prawns);She might nibble at a bread product like a pitta or wrap but won't eat much of it and definitely no butter or spread.

Of course she loves crisps, chocolate and biscuits but actual meal wise I feel like we are really limited.

Is this normal for her age??

Sounds exactly like my youngest, won't touch meat but happily eats a dinosaur or nugget, loves plain pasta but no cheese or sauce, loves peas but not much else.. I just make a quick separate meal of things he will eat and try not to stress it

Does sound very picky to me

Sounds quite picky to me. Though my eldest is the same age, so I’m hardly an expert. He just eats whatever we eat and whatever he’s given. Occasionally leaves red meat, but we don’t have it that often. Sometimes eats green beans and sometimes not so much, but everything else is OK. They’ve never had nuggets, crisps or chocolate at home so they’re not holding out for those!

I'd be delighted if mine ate that. We mostly have peanut butter toast...

It is both picky and within the realms of normal. My eldest ate everything and anything. My second was like your daughter. My third was worse.
Now they’re older, my eldest still eats everything. My second has vastly improved and eats most things, bar seafood. Loves Indian and Mexican food in particular. My third turned out to be autistic and has a very limited diet.

I think that’s within the realms of normal. Yes it’s picky eating but it sounds like a phase (and lots of children go through it and come out the other side)
my ds7 was the same at about 2-4 but was a brilliant eater before and we didn’t make too much of big deal of it and he came out the other side and is a fantastic eater now.

ds2 is just entering this phase despite also being a brilliant eater before but he is so picky at the moment! We try not to pander too much to it, but also not make a big deal out of it and make him upset. At the end of the day it’s just food. I keep offering different foods, but make sure there is something he will eat (eg. Plain pasta) on the plate.

Yes, she is picky. She has developed a processed food palate. Nuggets or sausages don't taste or feel like meat. The veggies she likes have a sweet tasting predominate, and same with the pasta, it is sweet and fatty.
This said, picky children seem to be the norm in UK.

Letting her have crisps, biscuits and chocolate will only aggravate this, since it reinforces a taste preference and cravings.
The easiest place to start is to remove the junky snacks. Then, work on meals. Make a homemade chicken or veal schnitzel, homemade fish fingers, other variations of oven-pasta and so on.

I wouldn't change your approach of just serving what you're cooking for everyone else. That's what we do and if he doesn't eat it, or only eats some so he's still hungry, he gets a bowl of chopped fruit and veggies to eat and a cup of milk.

He started with the picky stuff at 2 and a half so we stuck to this approach and now he eats what is served the vast majority of the time.

What happens when you cook a meal and she doesn't eat it?

Interested to see approaches here. My 4yo is a bad eater and moans about everything. In terms of meals all she eats is plain chicken breast, homemade meatballs / meatloaf, fried egg
sweet potato, peas sweetcorn broccoli
Pasta bolognese, plain noodles/ spaghetti
she would eat bread/ pitta/ wraps all day if I let her
as well as chips/ nuggets/ fish fingers/ beans and sausages but I try to limit that to 1-2 a week

and I’d say she was very fussy

Is that only 17 foods? Or does she also eat other things? Cheese, yoghurt, milk, cucumber, sweetcorn?

Sounds picky to me but I’ve got one of each child.

DC1 will eat everything and has done since about age 2 . Will eat brocolli, green beans, asparagus, spinach even tried lettuce this week! Eats all fish, meat, carbs, fruit. Just doesn’t like strong cheese like feta.

DC2 often spits out bread, bananas, weetabix. Won’t try most vegetables. Only really likes biscuits or bottle of milk. I am v frustrated! But keep gently trying …..

That sounds exactly how my little one was. We didn’t push it and just let her develop at her own speed. She’s now six and has very much moved on from that. It happened gradually, but she happily eats much of what we do and continues to move in the right direction so I’m satisfied she’ll get there. I would suggest avoiding the crisps and other junk - it’s no good for anyone to fill up on that.

The one thing I will say is that our relaxed approach means that family meal times are a very enjoyable time for her and she had a genuine love and interest in food.

I think it sounds pretty good. I guess it's a shame she's got the taste for nuggets and sausages. But hopefully she'll branch out as she grows. And keep those things for treats.
Kids food choices and likes expand so much once they start eating more outside of the family home as well.
Keep trying new things and don't force anything. You're doing a good job!

Definitely picky. Mine was the same until recently. We’d got into the habit of giving her what she wanted to eat and she was refusing everything else. We started to put dinner on the table so everyone could help themselves, and refused to give an alternative. If she didn’t eat what was on the table she went to bed. No pudding until she’d eaten a reasonable amount. We made sure that the meals were family friendly and not too out there, and she helps choose some meals when food planning for the week. Lo and behold, when there was no alternatives after a few days she began to eat the proper meals.

It's a bit picky but it could be worse and it's a tricky age for food for lots of kids!

My son is 5 and although people would say he eats "well" he is very picky. He doesn't like meat in any form and never has, same with eggs. He used to eat fish as a baby/young toddler but hasn't for years now, not even fish fingers. He likes mash potatoes and carrots, but not any other veg really, although he does eat vegetable fingers and oddly likes broccoli on his pizza, which I know isn't great but it's something.

He LOVES mushrooms 🤣 Has them every day. Pasta with a tomato and garlic sauce, with mushrooms. Beans and mushrooms with toast or mash. Potato or Quorn korma curry (with mushrooms) and rice and a garlic naan. He likes soup - Heinz tomato is his favourite (and he does know the difference even without seeing the tin, has done from age 2) but recently he'll eat my homemade roast vegetable soup too, which I'm genuinely ecstatic about! He'll have Quorn/vegetable chilli too. Mushroom and broccoli pizza ( as I said, the only way he has broccoli but he loves it?!)

We've tried loads - he cooks with me and even says things smell or look nice but even if/when he tries things he'll very often spit them out. Proudly told nursery once "my mama makes the BEST casserole... I don't eat it though" 🤣🤦

He loves cheese, even stronger ones, has it with crackers. Yoghurts and almost all fruit he loves. He has lots of different cereal, his favourite is wheatabix with peanut butter and whole milk - he told me in great detail the other week why he didn't like a particular shop brand Vs our usual Asda ones "see these don't have the sticky out crispy bits, they're too smooth and the milk dries up too fast" 😬🤣.

He drinks water happily at home and school and has juice when we're out for tea or whatever. He does have a sweet tooth but tbh so do I, but he's good at knowing when he's had enough or not pushing his luck if I say no you've already had X today so you can have Y tomorrow and he'll genuinely just be like oh ok I'll have an apple then or whatever. Although we haven't had ice cream in the house since he was 3 because he got really fixated on it!

I can honestly say though, I'm glad I never made food a battle. He loves sitting at the table for dinner or on the sofa all together with picky bits and a film, his table manners are good and he enjoys his food and is very gradually trying more things recently - school dinners have been a hit which is a big relief, if a little surprising!

Just keep offering and giving her opportunities to try stuff.

I will add, we're not a vegetarian family, DH and I both eat meat, he's just never ever liked it so he's just always had a vegetarian version of curry etc.

Sounds within the range of normal.

My DC goes through phases of being a great eater and phases of being very picky. Every so often we get a few days or even a week of only eating one or two things (usually baked beans and cheese sandwiches) before DC remembers other food groups are available. Multivitamin supplements can be a reassurance if you're worried about nutritional balance.

It’s not how my 3.5 year old eats or most of her friends.
She has one friend who is very picky like yours and we avoid having her over for meals because my DD copies her.

@Completelyjo My DD saw a dietitian from the age of 18 months until she was an adult for an eating issue. I'm glad the families we know were kind and did still invite her over....

Get a grip. As the parent I’m allowed to decide who my preschool child sees and how they spend time. No I’m not going to allow my child who normally eats everything to eat more meals than necessary with her friend who only eats crackers and crisps and have that rub off on my child.
Its not my job to make you feel better about your child’s eating while harming my own.

This is a sad approach for your DD as you are limiting her social development which has implications for her in future. Being around different people and being fine with it is a valuable skill.

So utterly ignorant. I'll leave it there.

My 6 year old has ARFID, all of our friends are happy to allow their children to eat at our house, and to invite him to eat there, and none of them started to refuse eat anything except corn flakes so far.

Seems in normal range, I was a very picky child (eat a broad range as an adult though, changed about 21/22) and DD is also. She eats tofu, peas, corn, tomatoes, baked beans, sometimes cucumber, rice, noodles, chips, mashed potato, baked potato, sometimes hummus, bread (and pitta, naan, croissants, crumpets, crackers etc), butter, vegan cheese, sometimes plain pizza, pasta, mac n cheese with hidden butternut squash, potato and carrot waffles and carrot cake bars but not plain carrot, veggie mince, veggie sausages, veggie sausage rolls, quorn dinos, some kinds of lentil soup, nearly all fruits, most cereals (weetabix, rice crispies, Shreddies), soya yoghurt, oat milk, but not really any other legumes or vegetables. We manage ok with giving her plenty of baked beans (she’d eat those all day every day), peanut butter, tofu, soya yogurt and quorn type stuff and getting what veggies we can into her, plus omega supplement and multivitamin. We did baby led weaning and she ate everything but at some point between 1 and 2 that changed.